As for Butch…what a shithead. A hypocritical shithead. In my position, he would never have sat at home like a good little boy while others went to battle. No freaking way. There was being protective, and there was being an interfering asshole who completely dismissed any input I had on my own decisions.
Well, both he and Sam had warned me that he’d fuck up a lot. I’d hoped they were exaggerating.
Something else ticking me off. From what Sam and Jared had learned, Marco was telling the truth about The Order. That meant The Hollow was facing a bunch of terrorists with the extinction of vampirekind in mind. It also meant I’d have to talk to him again. Jared had chosen to delay it until tomorrow night to send Marco the message that he wasn’t running the show. It was a good idea and—
“You okay?”
My upper lip curled. Dean. Just what I needed. I didn’t even bother to look at him.
He slipped onto the stool beside mine. “Seriously, are you okay? You have bruises on your face. Since when do vampires bruise?”
Since they became a little human, apparently.
“I came to see you when you were hurt. Richardson wouldn’t let me in.”
I was about to point out that, overcome with bloodlust, I would have drained Dean dry. However, given my new aversion to human blood, I probably wouldn’t have touched him.
“You’re still pissed at me, huh.”
He expected anything different? “You broke my trust, Dean.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
I did look at him then. “You let another vampire drink from you, even though you’d sworn you wouldn’t. You broke your promise and, in doing so, broke my trust.”
“I guess I didn’t think it would bother you that much,” he mumbled.
God, Butch was right; he really was a prick. “Just go.”
“Wait, I just want to say—”
“I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I don’t even want an apology. I just want you to leave.” But the bastard actually went to take my hand. “Don’t touch me.”
A familiar scent swirled around me just as a hand possessively slid around my neck. “You okay, baby?”
Um, no. Duh.
“You need to back the fuck off, human,” he rumbled.
Dean swallowed nervously. “This has nothing to do with you,” he stated, but his voice was shaky.
“There is no ‘this’—there’s only you being a prick. Try not to be one all your life.”
I didn’t have the patience for either male right now. I shot off the stool and went to pass Butch, but he pulled me to him. I would have struggled, but his mouth moved to my ear and he said, “Don’t, baby.” If it had been a demand or an order, I could have ignored that. But it was a coaxing plea. It took me off-guard and made me freeze when I should have moved away.
“Imani, you know he’s not going to stay with you,” snapped Dean. “He’s just using you.”
“Not very bright, are you?” said Butch.
Dean snickered. “At least I’m not the rebound guy.”
In a nanosecond, Butch went from holding me to lifting Dean up by his throat. The human was kicking his legs like crazy and struggling to get free.
I sighed. “Butch, put him down.”
Instead, Butch pulled him close so they were nose-to-nose. “Hear me loud and clear, little human, because I won’t repeat myself. You and Imani are done. Over. Accept it and move on, because I don’t give up what belongs to me. And I sure as shit won’t give up Imani.” He flung Dean away, making the human stumble and crash into the bar.
While Butch was distracted, I went to leave. I didn’t get far. Four steps later, he appeared in front of me. I hissed, “Move.”
His hands cupped my neck. “I fucked up again, I know. I’m sorry.”
By his tone, he seriously thought that was good enough. “Out of my way.”
“Imani.”
“When you’re ready to make a real apology, I’ll listen. Until then…” I hurried to my apartment in vampire speed. I’d just unlocked the door when I sensed Butch behind me. I whirled on him. “Did you not hear me just now?”
He backed me inside the apartment. “You know I have no respect for boundaries, and we clearly need to talk.”
I put my hands on my hips. “You’d better have something real good to say, Richardson, because the last thing I want to do tonight is punch you in the dick…but it is on my schedule.”
“Like I said, I fucked up. I can’t apologise for freaking out about you going into battle. It would be a lie, and that would insult both of us. But I am sorry that you’re hurting right now. I didn’t want that.”
As apologies went, it wasn’t the best I’d ever heard. But it was honest. “I’m a member of the legion, Butch. That means I’m going to be in dangerous situations again and again. You accepted that before. Why can’t you accept it now?” I might be partly human, but I was as strong and fast as a Sventé. Both Jude and Ava were Sventés.
For a moment, he said nothing. Just stood there, his expression almost tortured. “I didn’t keep you safe.” His words made me blink. “I’m a living shield, Imani, but I didn’t keep you safe. You got hurt right in front of me.”
I mentally kicked myself. I should have known that, protective as he was, he’d find some way to blame himself. “It all happened so fast, there was nothing you could have done.”
“The reason I didn’t freak out about you being on assignments in the past was that I was there with you; I was confident I could protect you.” A cynical, self-mocking smile surfaced on his face. “At the castle, I didn’t. Intellectually, I know it’s not my fault that you were hurt, and I know it’s pointless to feel guilty about it. I also know that I can’t lock you away where you’ll be safe, and that you’d be miserable if I tried.”
“So why get so wound up about this?”
“You don’t get it, Imani. A year. I was without you for almost a year. Just when I thought I had you back, I felt you slipping away. You don’t know how many times your heartrate slowed down during the transition. You don’t know how many times you passed out, so weak I didn’t think you’d wake up.”
His eyes glittered with an emotion I would never have associated with Butch. Fear. “It scared you.”
“Hell yes, it scared me.”
While that softened the blow of what he’d done, it didn’t make it okay. He had to understand that or he’d do it over and over. “That isn’t an excuse. I don’t expect you to always agree with my choices, but I expect you to respect my right to make them. Dictating to me, talking down to me like I don’t know myself, was not at all cool, Butch. If I had behaved that way toward you, if I’d showed you that kind of disrespect, you’d be just as pissed as I am now.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m not good at this.” He looked so lost.
“Yeah, I already figured that out.” Although I was still mad, I knew I’d have to back down a little. Sam had told me he’d need the room to make mistakes; she’d warned me he’d be a difficult partner. I’d taken the risk, and that meant I had to make some allowances. “I understand that you want me safe. I’m glad that you care. But that doesn’t mean I’ll always bow to your wishes. That’s not how it works.”
He moved to me and brushed his thumb along my cheekbone. “I do respect you. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t.”
I gave a curt nod. “Okay.”
“I hate it when we argue.”
We’d only had two very minor arguments before now. “It’s going to happen sometimes. You’re an alpha, which makes you pushy and domineering. Neither of those things are much fun for me, even though I know you interfere because you’re trying to smooth the way for me and make my life better. I’m stubborn and independent, which means I’ll keep pushing back.”
He rubbed his nose against mine. “I warned you that I’m not good for people.”
Not liking that comment at all, I said, “That’s bullshit. We both have strong personalities so we’ll clash from time to time. That doesn’t mean you’re not good for me, or vice versa. Being dominant and decisive isn’t bad. You’re also very protective and supportive, which I appreciate. Tonight, though, you were too protective and too big, bad alpha.”
He sighed. “Okay. I’ll work on it. But we’re good now?”
“We’re good.”
His arms locked around me and he pressed a gentle, apologetic kiss on my mouth. “Seeing those bruises on your face makes me want to punch something. Sam wouldn’t have hit you that hard if she’d known you’d bruise. Baby, about what you did to her—”
“Let’s not talk about it. It doesn’t matter.”
“Imani, you called blood to you. That kind of matters.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
He rubbed my back. “Can’t say I blame you for being freaked out.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my temple. “Okay, I’ll drop it.”