I turn my head back to look at him, opening my mouth to say something, but I can’t find anything to say.
He combs his fingers through my hair, tugging my head back a little, and forcing me to look at him. “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he says. “I just…” he trails off. “I don’t know how to deal with how I feel around you. You simultaneously piss me off, turn me on and frustrate me. No one’s every done that to me before.”
“Me, neither,” I admit. “But then again, I’ve only been able to feel those things for a few months so…” I frown, unsure how I feel anymore, whether I want to be driven by a grudge or let it go.
His green eyes fill with something I can’t quite place while his fingers linger in my hair. “I don’t want you running off to Laylen for help,” he says. “I want you to come to me.”
I look down at my legs wrapped around his waist, so close to him physically, yet mentally we’re still incredibly far away. “I honestly still don’t know if I can trust you.” I look up at him. “I mean, sometimes I ask you questions and you give the vaguest answers. Also, when we first met… the stuff you did and said… it’s hard to forget.”
“I’m sorry,” he utters quietly and it’s a weird moment because Alex isn’t the type of guy that says sorry a lot. “I’m sorry all of this happened. That you had to go through everything and that I’m a total douche who you have to feel this crazy electricity feeling with.”
I swallow the lump lodged in my throat put there by the intensity in his voice. “It went away for a moment, you know. When Laylen… when he bit me.”
“How did that… how did that feel?” He seems torn with wanting to hear the answer or even asking the question.
“Weird. Crazy. Unnatural.” I shrug. “Honestly, it kind of made me feel empty.” Some of the tension leaves his face, like he’s relieved by my answer. “But I still don’t know exactly how I feel about you or what’s driving what I do feel.”
He eyes me over, seeming undecided, as if he’s having an internal battle with himself. Then he grips my waist and lifts me off the counter.
He reaches for his jeans on the floor. “Get dressed,” he says as he slips them on.
I reach for my clean shirt folded up on the counter beside the sink. “Okay.” My voice is tight, figuring we’re heading back to where we started. He’s being distant and I’m sure he’s going to start shutting down. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself?
He slips his shirt on over his head and then heads for the door, and feelings of shame, guilt and irritation flood me.
“Where are you going?” I tug the shirt over my head. “Are you leaving?”
He pauses, glancing over his shoulder as he grasps the doorknob. “I’m going to go find the one person that I know of who can get us into The Underworld.”
I start to smile, a full, real smile. “To find my mom?”
He nods. “But don’t get so happy yet. First we have to deal with the person who’s going to help us.” He jerks the door open as I slip the skirt on. “And it’s going to be a pain in the ass.
“Why?” I tie the top of the skirt.
He looks unhappy as he steps into the hall. “The only Foreseer I know who’s not afraid of breaking the rules.”
I point my finger at myself. “Me?”
“No someone who is experienced and knows the history.” He steps out into the hall and I follow. “We’re going to find Nicholas.”
Chapter 8
“You want to bring Nicholas here?” I frown as I trot down the stairs behind him, gathering my damp hair into a side braid “Like the pervert Faerie/Foreseer/likes-to-invade-my-personal-space, Nicholas? The one who became a mirage and made me believe he was you more than a few times?”
He glances over his shoulder, nodding. “That would be the one.”
I shake my head as we enter the living room. It’s miraculously been put back into place, the walls mended, the chairs fixed, and the apothecary table looks like it’s never been touched. “Do we really need him, though?” I ask. “Isn’t there anyone else who can help us?”
“My connections in the Foreseer world are very limited.” He flops down on the couch, shaking his head. “Trust me, Gemma. He’s the last person I ever want to go to for help, well besides someone like Draven.” He glances up at my neck and I have the urge to cover my neck and hide the two small, healing bite marks on it. “Foreseer’s can travel anywhere at any moment, which is why Nicholas was able to randomly show up back in Colorado. You remember the crystal ball he used to get us into the City of Crystal, right?”