He’s being so cooperative and the surprising thing is that he seems genuinely nice at the moment. “I want to believe you,” I say. “But it’s hard to after everything that’s happened.”
“I know,” he says simply and then he winks at me even though he looks sad. “Give me time, though, and I’ll change your mind.”
“We’re always arguing, though,” I point out.
He winks again and this time a smile shows through. “Don’t pretend like you don’t like it—that it doesn’t get you all turned on.”
I don’t say anything because he’s partially right. We stare at each other for a moment and I can hear us both breathing erratically. Taking a step forward, he carefully backs me into the sink and sweeps a lock of my hair away from my face. When his gaze meets mine, my body nearly melts as electricity spirals through it. I decide that, despite whatever I said, I did miss it. A lot.
He leans in toward me, tracing my jawline with his fingers. “You bring it out of me, you know. Before you, I could completely control everything I feel, but you… you drive me crazy.”
“You drive me crazy, too,” I agree, my voice a lot less steady than his. “You make me so frustrated… and I don’t know if I should, or if I even can, trust you.”
I wait for him to get angry, but he seems to be very distracted by my neck, his gaze is glued to it as he sketches his finger back and forth across the healing teeth marks.
“Did it hurt?” he asks, pressing down on the marks.
I wince, but only because the contact of his skin makes my body flame hot. “Not really.”
His eyes glide up to mine. “Did it feel… good?”
“Honestly?” I ask and he nods. My breath falters. “It felt good, bad, and… confusing.”
His hands glide up the front of my neck, his skin agonizingly hot as it stops at the top. “Did you do anything else?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I know, but I don’t want to tell you.”
He pauses and I feel his hand tremor. “I need to know. It’ll drive me crazy if I don’t.”
I swallow hard. “We kissed.”
His grip tightens on my neck, not enough to choke me, but enough that it’s intense. “Just kiss?” he asks and I nod.
He loosens his grip slightly, pressing his thumb against my pulse. “Does this feel good?” he asks in a husky voice. “When I touch you?”
I shake my head as hot tingles coil up my legs. “I don’t know.”
His other hand touches my knee and then slips up the front of my towel, his fingers delving into my upper thigh. “How about this?”
Unbearable heat spreads up my leg and causes me to tremble irrepressibly. “Maybe…” I fight to tell him the truth; that he gets to me in ways I can barely grasp. That no matter what happens, if he wants me, then he’ll eventually get me because battling my emotions and the sparks will break me down in the long run.
I unintentionally gasp as his breath catches, and then his hand inches higher. I lean back against the mirror. “Alex… what are you ….”
I drift off as his fingers touch between my legs without slipping into me, merely resting just outside. I bite down on my lip as every single one of my nerve endings blaze with fiery heat and every thought inside my head dissipates
“I can’t take this anymore,” he says in a breathy whisper as he leans in closer, his eyes glossed over. “I want to be angry with you, but I can’t stop thinking about how I need to make you mine again and how I really don’t deserve you for everything I’ve done to you—all the lies I’ve told.” His lips hover above my mouth as his chest lines up with mine, burning me with ecstasy and driving me crazy. I grip onto the countertops, struggling to cling onto reality.
“How do you think I feel?” I groan. Hold on, Gemma. Don’t let go. You need a clear head… clear… “I never know what you’re thinking… what you want… what’s the truth… what’s right and what’s…” I drift off as his fingers slip inside me. My body bows into him and the towel slips loose before falling to my waist, my bare chest pressing against him.
His fingers start to gently move inside me. “Just trust me okay?”
I shake my head because I don’t entirely trust him or myself and what I’m feeling, but I don’t argue because I can’t. I want him to keep doing what he’s doing, feeling me, touching me, diminishing the void inside me. Giving me the human connection that I crave.
His fingers keep working as I struggle to breathe. I clutch so tightly onto the counter that the edge stabs into my palms. Finally I let go and grab onto his shoulders at the same time his hands slide around my back. He pushes on it, forcing me to move closer to him.