Fractured Souls(26)

I sob into my knees, my body shaking and shivering as I try to sift through the last couple of days. I let Laylen bite me merely so I could get something I wanted. I hurt Laylen and Aislin and pissed off Alex by doing it. Am I that bad of a person? Completely greedy and selfish. Who am I? I don’t know.
My head suddenly shoots up when I hear the bathroom door open. I tense as a shadow forms on the other side of the shower curtain.
“Gemma,” Alex says.
I try to shut off my tears, but tears never want to seem to turn off when you want them to, so instead I work to maintain a balanced voice. “Yes.”
He hesitates and I can see his shadow moving, his hand rising in front of him. “Are you okay?”
My lips quiver. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He pauses. “Okay.”
I let out an exhale, glad he can’t see me, see what I mess I am. I allow the tears to fall freely as his shadow shrinks as he moves away. However, then the entire bathtub suddenly darkens, his shadow expanding over me when he draws back the curtain.
He grips onto the edge of the curtain, staring down at me naked in the tub, hugging my knees. There are droplets of water on my face and tears pooling in my eyes and my hair drips in tangles down my back.
“You don’t look okay,” he says, keeping his eyes on mine. “You’ve been in your room for over two days. Aislin said you probably needed space—that it would take a few days for the…” He shuts his eyes, gathering himself before opening them. “For the sensations of the bite to wear off. That’s how it was for her.” His gaze sweeps over my face. “But now I’m wondering if she was wrong.”
I don’t know how to respond. I did need time; I chose to stay in the room, but while isolation might have been a good thing for Aislin, I don’t think it was that great for me. I’ve had too much of it during my life.
I want to tell him this, but when I open my lips all that comes out is a quiet sob. “I’m sorry.” I’m not even sure what I’m sorry for, but it feels like it needs to be said so I go with it.
“Gemma…” He reaches for the faucet and shuts the water off. Then he leans back and slips his hands into mine, helping me to my feet. I bite my lip as I stand naked in the bathtub before him, feeling self-conscious. “You don’t need to be sorry.” He tucks strands of my wet hair behind my ear. “I get why you did it.”
I’m a little shocked. “You do?”
He nods, smoothing my hair out of my eyes. “I just wish you would have found a different way—an easier way. Yet, I understand how it feels… to want to see your mom again.”
The way he says it, makes me wonder. “Do you not know your mom?”
He presses his lips together, releases me, and then takes a step toward the towel rack. “My mom disappeared when I was younger.” He grabs a towel off the rack and turns back to me
I can suddenly feel it; the sparks and the elated electricity reuniting wholly with my body. It’s wonderful and heartbreaking, welcome and, yet, unwanted. “What happened to her?”
He grips the towel in his hand. “I have no idea.” He lets the towel fall open. “How about we talk about what we’re going to do about your mom?”
I wrap my arms around my body as the cold air gets to my dewed skin. “Why? Are you going to help me?”#p#分页标题#e#
“Lift your arms up,” he instructs and I hesitantly obey. “I was thinking about it, but only if we do it smartly.” He wraps the towel around my back and then drags it across my sides, wiping away the water.
“Why, though?” I wonder, fighting my eyes to stay open as he moves the towel along my ribs, my hips, my stomach, and back, drying off my body. “Why would you all of a sudden help me? You’re acting very strange right now. Too nice.”
“I’ve always been helping you, Gemma. It just might not always seem like it, especially when your emotions get in the way.” He pulls on the towel, moving to the front of me, and begins to wipe off my neck. “And I’m trying to be nice because you deserve nice.”
I swallow hard as his hand holding the towel wanders toward my breast. “Your emotions get in the way sometimes, too. You can be so hot and cold.”
He stares at my chest as he begins to dry it off. My nipples harden and a gasp escapes my lips, even though I fight it. “I can’t help it,” he says softly, moving his gaze and hands away from my chest. He wraps the towel around my body and secures it in a knot at the top. Then he moves back and holds his hand out. “It’s how I’ve been taught to be… detached.” He stops as I set my hand in his then he helps me out of the tub. “I can’t help it and I don’t want to help it. Besides, I’m beginning to believe that everything I was taught is bullshit.”