His eyes were unreadable, but he finally answered quietly. ‘I know that. It’s just I feel…’ His voice trailed away intriguingly.
‘Yes?’ I prompted softly.
‘I feel… partly responsible for what’s happened to you and Matt.’
That was definitely not what I’d either been expecting – or hoping – to hear.
‘How on earth do you figure that out?’
He sighed deeply and sat down in the armchair opposite me, putting the large expanse of coffee table between us.
‘Matt and I have never really got on that well…’
‘That’s hardly breaking news.’
He ignored my sarcasm and continued. ‘And I guess in the weeks since your attack, you and I have spent quite a bit of time together. I’ve certainly seen more of you than Matt has.’
An unbidden image flashed up at his unintentional double-entendre; an image I quickly rammed to the back of my mind.
‘So that can’t have helped the situation between you two.’
I started to interrupt then, but he put up a hand to stall me.
‘And what happened today, at his place… I guess I must take some responsibility for that too.’
I stared at him incredulously. ‘Not unless you paid Cathy to take her clothes off and climb into bed with someone else’s fiancé, you don’t!’
He ran his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated by something I was failing to grasp. ‘God, Rachel. Don’t be so glib. Don’t you think that at least some of the reason he did that today was in retaliation for what nearly happened between us?’
I felt like I’d just been kicked, very hard, in the stomach.
‘What? Do you think I told him about that? Just dropped it casually into the conversation? Why would you think I’d do that?’
He searched my face for an answer, surely able to read the feelings I didn’t have the courage to voice. But whatever he saw did not elicit the kind of reaction I’d been hoping for, as there was a tightness and control to his tone when he finally replied. ‘No reason. No reason at all.’
We cleared away in silence then, each lost in our own thoughts. After waiting so long for him to finally acknowledge our interlude at the hotel, I now wished the subject had never been raised at all. It was obvious to me that Jimmy deeply regretted the whole incident and apparently assumed I felt the same way. The weight of the day and all its many revelations was suddenly too much to cope with, and I wasn’t feigning my over-exaggerated yawn when I announced, ‘I’m feeling pretty exhausted, so I’m going to turn in now. Are you sure you’ll be all right on the couch with those blankets?’
As we both knew the only other alternative was to share my bed, there was no surprise at hearing his hasty confirmation.
‘No. That will be perfect.’ I was almost at the door before I heard his final softly voiced utterance. ‘Sleep well, Rachel.’
Surprisingly I did. No dreams. No mysterious alarms, strange aftershave, nothing. Jimmy had clearly been up and dressed for some time, as there was coffee gurgling in the filter pot and a plate of golden croissants waiting for me on the kitchen counter. I grabbed one and began nibbling on the light buttery flakes as he poured me coffee – with milk.
‘I see you’ve been shopping.’
He smiled, and the awkwardness of last night was, thankfully, nowhere to be seen. I figured we would be all right as long as we just confined everything to neutral territory.
He pulled out one of the high kitchen stools and tried not to smile as I struggled to get onto the seat.
‘It’s easier with heels on,’ I muttered.
Before I could stop him he had taken hold of me by the waist and lifted me effortlessly onto the high wooden seat. His hands lingered only fleetingly upon me as I settled in place, but even that brief contact made me shiver.
‘Are you cold?’ he inquired, taking in the sleeveless vest and cotton jogging bottoms I had slept in. It was hardly my most alluring look, especially not with a face devoid of any make-up and my hair pulled back in a swinging pony tail. Without waiting for me to answer, he shrugged out of his jacket and laid it around my shoulders, enveloping me both in warmth and the irresistible smell of him.
He looked down on me, and his eyes were warm. Suddenly I wasn’t cold at all. His gaze travelled from my head down to my bare feet, dangling some ten inches off the floor. I thought I could see appreciation in his look, I swear I didn’t imagine that, but then his lips curled in a grin I had seen a thousand times before.
‘What’s so funny?’ I asked, taking a large sip of coffee to hide the blush I could feel beginning to form from his scrutiny.