Fractured(76)

Clearly my features were unfathomable, for he questioned haltingly, ‘Your dad did mention something about that: that you’d had a disagreement.’

I gave a small wry laugh that held very little actual humour. ‘Yeah, you could call it that. He thought it was all right to be having sex with Cathy in his flat today, and strangely I disagreed.’

A fleet of emotions crossed Jimmy’s face, too swiftly for me to differentiate one from the other, but I thought I’d glimpsed barely restrained fury as well as something much more gentle and hopeful.

‘Your dad never said that!’

‘He got the edited version.’

Taking hold of my hand, Jimmy gently led me over to the settee and settled himself beside me. I thought about taking back my hand but he seemed in no hurry to relinquish it, so I left it encased in his own.

‘Tell me all about it,’ he urged. His voice was soft and encouraging, once again my confidant and friend, but there was something in his eyes, something I scarcely recognised, that was having a disturbing effect on my pulse.

He stayed completely silent as I recounted my entire day: from the doctor’s appointment, to the discovery of Matt’s betrayal. He was so motionless as I spoke, I had to watch his face extremely closely to glean even a hint of a reaction to my words. The tightening of his jaw when I reached the part when I walked in on Matt and Cathy was the only indication of a fury I knew he was struggling to hold in check.

When at last I was finished, he turned my hand over within his, seeming to take a good deal of time to select exactly the right words.

‘I’m so sorry, Rachel; sorry he did that to you. Sorry he’s hurt you like this. I know how much you… love… him. But you deserve so much better than that.’

His face was very close to mine, merely inches apart. I raised my eyes, hoping he could read in them all that I hadn’t been able to say. I saw his head begin to lower, and my lips parted as I half closed my eyes in anticipation. They flew open again moments later as he leant in and gently grazed my forehead with the lightest of kisses.

He got smoothly to his feet then, the atmosphere changing as abruptly as though a switch had been pulled. Not meeting my gaze, which I knew must still be registering confusion, he made a deliberate show of consulting his watch.

‘Look, it’s getting fairly late. Why don’t I go and get us a takeaway or something? I’m sure you’ve not eaten all day, have you?’

I shook my head, not entirely trusting that I’d be able to keep what I was feeling from my voice.

‘OK, I’ll go and get us something to eat. I won’t be long.’

His departure was so overly hasty it was almost comical. How many more times was I going to misread the signals, and have to watch him all but run from me, before I accepted that whatever feelings I had buried deep inside for him should be allowed to rest in peace? There clearly was no chance at all of them ever being reciprocated.

It didn’t take him very long to find a nearby takeaway, and I’d only just finished washing some of the grime of packing from my face and hands before he returned, heavily laden with numerous cartons of Chinese food and two bottles of wine.

‘Are we expecting company?’ I asked, eyeing the array of fragrant containers he was busily opening on the coffee table.

‘Let’s hope not,’ he replied darkly, and it didn’t take a genius to work out who he thought might be planning on joining us. I didn’t think that was even remotely likely; feeling sure Matt would realise that turning up at my door that night was not exactly in his best interests. However, the thought of what might happen between the two men if Matt were foolish enough to put in an appearance made me shudder involuntarily.

I was actually surprisingly hungry and managed to do reasonable justice to our impromptu dinner. As I battled on determinedly, chasing the last morsel from a container with a pair of chopsticks, I noticed Jimmy regarding my healthy appetite with poorly concealed approval.

‘You don’t have to do that, you know.’

‘Do what?’ he asked, clearly unaware that I’d caught him watching me.

‘Check up on me. Make sure I’m all right all the time. That I’m not about to pine away, or starve myself to death, or do anything… stupid… in a fit of depression.’

‘I don’t do any of that,’ he denied, his voice full of bluster, which didn’t fool me at all. I had, after all, known this man for a long long time.

‘So what was that all about earlier on tonight, when you came storming in here?’

He met my eyes, but didn’t reply.

‘I don’t need another parent looking out for me, you know,’ I declared. I was in danger of sounding ungrateful here, but I still needed to be certain he understood. ‘It’s not your job to keep rescuing me.’