Fractured(70)

And even though I hadn’t spoken to Jimmy myself, I did know he had been in daily contact with my dad, for I’d overheard several whispered conversations behind doors which hadn’t been as securely closed as my secretive parent thought they’d been. So, despite the fact that he clearly wasn’t anxious to speak to me, Jimmy still wanted to know how I was on a daily basis. And while part of me was pleased to know he cared enough to call, the other part was becoming increasingly angry that it was my father he chose to speak to and not me. It confirmed my worst suspicions: that he was still so uncomfortable with what had happened between us at the hotel that he could neither face nor forgive me. I wondered if he would ever be able to do either again.

Tired of being buffeted by the determined holiday shoppers, I slipped inside a small coffee shop and found an empty table. At the last moment my doctor’s appointment had been rescheduled from late in the afternoon to early morning. I hadn’t minded having to get the early fast train into London, but it did leave me now with many hours to kill before the time I was supposed to meet up with Matt for dinner and a lift back home to Great Bishopsford. It had been too late to reach Matt the previous day to let him know of the change of plans, and while I had thought the extra time in London could be spent Christmas shopping, the doctor’s appointment had taken more out of me mentally than I’d expected, and I’d now lost any appetite for pushing and shoving through hoards of people in the department stores.

I glanced at my watch. It was only late morning but there was a possibility that Matt might be free for an early lunch. It would be good to explain to him some of the things Dr Andrews had said while they were still fresh in my mind. Perhaps it would help him to understand why I was finding it so hard to fall straight back into my role as his fiancée, as I know he had been expecting. Acting on impulse, I pulled out my mobile phone and scrolled down the address book until I reached Matt Office.

His secretary answered the call on the second ring, her cool professional tone warming considerably as she recognised my voice. Which was more than I did for hers.

‘Oh, Rachel, I’m sorry, you’ve just missed him. He left about ten minutes ago for his flat, but you’re meeting him there for lunch anyway, aren’t you?’

‘Umm…’ I never knew why I didn’t immediately correct her assumption but some small warning voice told me not to. And I listened to it.

‘He should be back there really soon, traffic permitting. And could you let him know I’ve managed to cancel those meetings he had this afternoon, like he asked?’

‘Oh… good. I’ll tell him.’

‘It was nice speaking to you again. I do hope you enjoy your lunch today. We’re all so glad to hear you’re getting better.’

‘Thank you…’ I struggled for her name, but obviously nothing was forthcoming, so I just repeated again, ‘Thank you.’

I sat looking at my phone for a long time before finally flipping the lid back into position and replacing it in my handbag. I don’t recall finishing my coffee, or paying the bill, but as no one ran after me yelling ‘thief’ as I left the coffee shop, I guessed I must have taken care of it.

There were a hundred different reasons why Matt’s secretary could have misunderstood what he’d told her about his plans. We had, after all, been intending to meet for dinner that night, and when he asked her to cancel his appointments this afternoon, she might have become confused and believed we were meeting instead for lunch. And yet she had sounded so positive he was on his way to meet me at his flat. How could she possibly have misinterpreted that?

But perhaps I was ignoring the even bigger question. What was so pressing that it was enough to make a workaholic like Matt cancel his entire schedule in the middle of the day? Because it certainly wasn’t to have lunch with his fiancée.

It was easy enough to hail a cab, although I did have to consult my address book for the precise location of Matt’s flat. As the taxi crawled through the midday traffic I tried to keep my mind deliberately blank and completely refused to listen to the voice in my head that was screaming out a prediction of the outcome of this surprise visit. I kept reminding myself that I knew so little of Matt’s working practices that disappearing like this in the middle of the day might be perfectly usual behaviour on his part. Yeah right, said the voice.

Eventually, the cab pulled up in front of an exclusive-looking apartment block.

‘Here you are, love, Hanbury Mansions.’

I tried a smile that felt a little too stiff to be natural and reached into my wallet to extract a note for the driver. I saw then that my hand had begun to tremble, ever so slightly. This is ridiculous, I chided myself. Why was I getting so worked up about something that no doubt would have the simplest of explanations? I was seeing mysteries where there were none, and surely I had enough real drama going on in my life that I didn’t need to be inventing a whole new episode?