“Sally . . . ” I started, but stopped myself, not knowing what to say.
“It’s okay, Mila.” She grabbed a hold of my hand. “I’m sorry for being emotional. Let’s figure out what dress you’re going to wear tonight.”
“Let’s grab a glass of wine first,” I said and headed towards the door so that I could grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen. “Wine and chocolate makes everything better.”
***
“Let’s just go to the store and have a look.” I grinned at Sally as we sat across from each other and decimated a large bar of cookies-and-cream chocolate. “I might have enough to buy a new dress myself.”
“Is that a request to borrow money?” she asked me with a raised eyebrow and a grin back, the chocolate having put both of our moods back up. “Exactly what money are you going to use to buy said dress?”
“Well, I have some.” I laughed as my voice trailed off, my financial situation entering my mind unpleasantly. “Plus maybe I can get a store card.”
“A store card?”
“Like a store credit card.” I shook my head at her. “That way I have thirty days to pay it off, or more if they have a six-months-no-interest plan or something.”
“Mila.” Sally shook her head at me. “I’ve never heard that Valentino or Chanel had a store credit card and no, you’re not getting yourself into more debt.”
“I’m not really in debt.” I laughed. “I just have no money.”
“And you have a bunch of bills to pay each month.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Where I come from, that’s called debt.”
“Where do you come from?” I said with a grin. “Wall Street? Bank of America Valley? Chase Street? Discover me discover you?”
“Ha ha, not.” Sally smiled at me and sighed. “Mila, I know you don’t like to think about these things, but you can’t just be spending all your cash and charging what you can’t afford.”
“I’m trying to be good!” I exclaimed. “You’re the one who told me to get a new dress.”
“I know.” She ran her hands through her hair and looked at me with a wry smile. “I got carried away, plus I figured that TJ could buy it.”
“I just don’t know how I feel about using TJ’s money to buy stuff.” I bit my lower lip. “It just seems to cheapen it.”
“Cheapen what?” Sally looked at me cautiously. “You know that this isn’t real, right? You’re not his real fiancée. Just because he’s fucking you doesn’t mean he wants you for anything more than a good time.” She stopped then and slapped her hand across her mouth as my face fell. “Forgive me, Mila. That came out a lot harsher than I’d planned. I guess I’m still feeling down about Cody and taking it out on everyone, like some sort of scorned bitch. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
“Hey, I understand. And you’re not a bitch,” I said and sighed as we got up and walked back to my bedroom, having finished our glasses of wine and the entire bar of chocolate. I moaned loudly as we walked into the bedroom and I thought about all the extra calories I’d just taken in, and for what? I groaned and then fell down on my bed dramatically. “It’s not like what you’re saying isn’t true. He hasn’t given me any reason to believe that I mean anything real to him.”
“I don’t get guys.” Sally plopped down next to me. “Why can’t he see what he has right in front of his nose? Why can’t he just smarten up and realize that you are the best girl for him? Why can’t he just wake up and see that he loves you?”
“Yeah,” I sighed and looked at her. “The same goes for Cody. Why can’t he see that you’re right here?”
“I wish I knew.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m too ugly for him. Too fat. Too whatever.”
“Sally.” I frowned at her and jumped up. I pulled her arms up and pulled her up from the bed. “Look at me,” I said loudly as her eyes drifted away from mine. “You’re beautiful. You’re kind. You’re loyal. You’re the most generous person I know. You are not ugly. You are far from fat.” I squeezed her hands. “My brother is a fool if he doesn’t see that.” I looked into her grateful brown eyes and my heart broke at the pain I saw in her gaze. “You’re my best friend and my sister. And you will find the perfect man for you. Maybe that’s not Cody,” I said with a quick smile. “And maybe TJ’s not my perfect guy, either. Maybe we need to wake up and smell the roses. Maybe our Mr. Rights are out there looking for us right now.”
“So you want to blow TJ off tonight, then?” she asked me with a grin. “We can go and look for the guys who are looking for us.”
“That’s not such a bad idea,” I said, though my heart fell at her words. I knew TJ was bad news for my heart. The more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him. His eyes had this way of piercing into my soul, and his smile was like a hammer, chipping away at the wall around my heart. Every time he smiled, a dent was made. He was becoming a part of me. When he was inside of me, I felt like we were truly one.
I had to keep reminding myself that this was an illusion. These feelings, this want, this obsession, weren’t real. At the end of four weeks, I was very likely to find myself torn and broken apart. I didn’t know how I would survive without him, and that scared me. We’d only just gotten into this arrangement. We’d only just begun this farce. We’d only just begun, but already I was blinded by my love for him. I walked away from Sally and grabbed my phone and punched in TJ’s numbers.
“What are you doing?” Sally screeched, her eyes widening as she watched me making the call.
“Morning, sunshine.” TJ’s voice was silky and smooth as he picked up the phone.
“Morning,” I said. “I have some bad news.”
“What bad news?” His tone changed and I swallowed hard. Sally was shaking her head at me and frowning.
“Are you crazy?” she whispered. “I was joking.”
“I can’t come tonight,” I said softly as I smiled at Sally. I needed to be a good friend more than I needed to be a good fake fiancée.
“What are you talking about?” TJ’s voice was angry.
“I have to do something else tonight.”
“You have a date?” His tone was deadly and I shivered. Who knew that he would get so pissed off so quickly? And why would he think I had a date?
“Um, not technically,” I squeaked out.
“Not technically?” he said softly, slowly, and I waited for him to continue before speaking. “What does that mean, Mila? Do I have to remind you of our deal? Of the contract that you signed?”
“TJ, I’m just going out with Sally,” I said quickly before he started getting carried away. “She’s feeling down.”
“Mila.” Sally glared at me.
“I mean, she wanted us to go out and see if we meet the men of our dreams.” I paused as I listened to the silence on the other side of the phone. Even Sally was looking at me with a shocked expression. “That came out wrong,” I said in a quiet tone. “TJ?” I asked, wondering what he was thinking.
“You want to bow out of your obligation tonight so you can go and tart yourself up and meet strange men?”
“I didn’t say I was going to tart myself up and I said the men of our dreams, our soul mates, not strange men.”
“So you want to meet the man of your dreams tonight and then come and fuck me tomorrow night? What are you going to tell him if he asks you out? ‘Sorry, I can’t go because the other man I’m seeing wants to bend me over and fuck me?’ ”
“TJ,” I gasped, aghast, but also slightly turned on.
“What?” he said and chuckled, but he didn’t sound amused. “I guess that was slightly wrong. I should have said that you want me to fuck you as badly as I want to. I’m sure your panties are wet right now, aren’t they?” His voice became lower and rougher. “I bet you’re wishing I were with you right now so I could spank that ass and pull those panties to the side as I bend you over and slam into you from behind.”
“I’m going to the mall to buy a new dress,” I said stiffly as I changed the subject, embarrassed that I was feeling turned on by his words, and in front of Sally who was looking at me with a quizzical expression. “The dress is for your party tonight,” I continued. “So I’ll be using the credit card you gave me.”
“So now you’re coming?” he said in a tone that said he’d achieved exactly what he’d wanted. “I guess you’re missing my big—”
“TJ!” I almost shouted as I cut him off. “You’re too much.” I rolled my eyes at Sally, whose eyes at narrowed at me. “Yes, I’m coming,” I said stiffly. “I’ll let Sally cry herself to sleep while we’re out partying.”
“Oh, we’ll be doing a lot more than partying,” he said in an amused tone, his voice deep. “Maybe tell her you’ll be getting the fuck of your life. Maybe that will make her feel better about being ditched.”