“I see,” I said, and I contemplated staying for another hour, when I heard my phone beeping. I grabbed it from my pocket and read the text message from Cody: Dude, just a heads up, Mila and Sally are coming over as well, so don’t plan on bringing any weed over. I stared at the text, pulled Heidi’s hand out of my pants and took a step back.
“Sorry, Heidi, it’s just not going to work out,” I said, giving her a quick nod and walked over to her front door. “Bye,” I said as I opened the front door and hurried out of her apartment. My mind was off of Heidi as soon as I opened my car door. There was only one woman who had any part of my mind. And that was the one woman I would never let myself have.
Present Day
The smell of honeysuckle hit me as soon as I opened my front door. It wafted through the air and surprised me as I made my way into the hallway. The smell was unfamiliar, but sweet and homey. My apartment was slowly becoming a real home and it was a weird feeling to suddenly realize that.
“Honey, I’m home,” I called out, feeling my mood lifting as I looked around the living room. Mila had added a few homey touches to my place since she’d moved in a week ago and I was pleasantly surprised at how cozy my place seemed. Everything had been going smoothly and I was enjoying coming home to her. It almost seemed like I was in some sort of movie, with the happy wife and the perfect life. All we were missing were the kids and a Golden Retriever. Oh and living in true happiness and bliss, of course. Our happiness was predicated on a lie, but I was trying to forget that fact.
“Hey.” Mila’s voice sounded happy as she came running out of the kitchen towards me. “You’re home.” She ran up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the lips, her cheeks a rosy pink, and her eyes sparkling in happiness.
“I am,” I said and kissed her back, my heart feeling odd as I gazed at her. “I see you did some shopping.”
“Just some small stuff.” She laughed as she gazed around the apartment and realized just how much she’d transformed my place. There were flowers everywhere and lots of new knick-knacks, like vases and little pots and containers with candles and candy. She’d also added some new art to my walls, bright colorful Picasso prints that popped out and made the room seem grander. There was a new throw blanket on the couch that she’d gotten; it was made of alpaca wool and it was gray and soft and even though I didn’t know what an alpaca was, I enjoyed the feeling of it covering us when we lay on the couch together. I was a man and would never admit to it, but I liked the small luxuries that she’d brought to my life.
“I have a new couch coming as well.” She bit down on her lower lip and looked up at me with wide eyes.
“You have a new couch coming?” I asked her with a grin, laughing at her joke.
“I’m not joking, TJ.” She giggled. “Don’t be mad.”
“You seriously have a new couch coming?” I asked her, my eyes searching hers and I could tell from her expression that she was dead serious. “What’s wrong with my couch?”
“Leather? Dark, sticky leather?” She made a face. “So unattractive.”
“It’s comfortable.” I shrugged, still not quite believing that she’d actually purchased a new couch. That was a huge purchase and I really felt taken aback. I’d never expected Mila to get that comfortable in my place. I liked it and hated it both at the same time.
“It’s not cute, though.” She wrinkled her nose as she looked over at my most prized piece of furniture. “And there are no throw pillows.”
“It’s soft enough to not need throw pillows,” I said and looked at my couch longingly. “Plus, we have an alpaca throw blanket now. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, TJ.” She giggled and shook her head.
“When will it be leaving my abode?” I asked mournfully, wondering if I could hold some sort of funeral for the couch before it left. And the funeral would consist of us having sex on the couch in multiple positions. That would partially make up for her replacing it.
“Hopefully this weekend.” She looked at me nervously. “I told the store we’d pay extra for a fast delivery of the new sectional.”
“You did, did you?” I raised an eyebrow at her. What had happened to the girl who was too timid to use my credit card? She’d obviously disappeared. I was going to make a comment, but I stopped myself. I had a feeling if I made a joke, she’d take it self-consciously and then maybe she really would stop using the card. Which I didn’t want. I liked that she felt comfortable enough with me now to not call me every time she wanted to charge twenty dollars for some silly purchase. I had plenty of money and I was happy for her to use it.
“Yeah, I wanted it to arrive in time for the dinner party. Make our home look more cozy to everyone.” She gave me a winning smile.
“Are you saying our home isn’t cozy?” I asked her and she smirked at me. I saw her smiling and realized that I’d said “our home,” as opposed to “my home.” It was weird that I was starting to think of this as our home now. I wasn’t sure how it was going to feel when she moved out. How cozy and homey all her little knick-knacks would feel once she was gone. I’d most probably pack them up into a box and take them to Goodwill. I wouldn’t want to be reminded of her time here. Not once everything came out. It would remind me too much of all I’d lost.
“What do you think, TJ?” she said and then shrieked and ran back to the kitchen.
“What’s going on?” I followed behind her and watched as she hurriedly opened the oven door.
“I’m roasting some potatoes and I didn’t want them to burn.” She pulled out a tray from the oven and placed them on top of the stove. “You like herb-roasted potatoes, right?” She turned to me with a sweet smile. “I remember you used to scarf them down when you’d come over. My mom used to call you the potato monster.”
“She did, didn’t she?” I laughed as I remembered all of the meals that I’d eaten with her family. I’d never thought that one day, we’d be here and she’d be cooking for me. “Her potatoes were the bomb.”
“Yeah, so are mine, though.” Mila laughed.
“As long as you don’t burn them.” I winked at her. “Your mom would never burn them.”
“Shh, you.” She grabbed a towel and swatted me with it as she laughed. “If you keep insulting me, you won’t get any dinner.”
“Hmm, let me hear what’s for dinner, first.” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Then I’ll decide if I want to keep insulting you.”
“You’re incorrigible.” She giggled. “I’m making a roast chicken, with roast potatoes, gravy, Brussels sprouts and carrots.”
“Sounds delicious.” I licked my lips.
“And an apple pie with ice cream for dessert.”
“Okay, I’m sold. No more insults.” I paused. “For the day.”
“TJ Walker.” She laughed. “Come on now.”
“Come on now, what?” I grinned. “What are you going to make for the dinner party?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I was thinking of grilling some steaks.”
“Steaks are always good.” I nodded. “Who’s coming, again?”
“Sally and Cody,” she said as she closed the oven door and went to the fridge.
“What about your parents?” I asked. “And Nonno.”
“Nah, didn’t invite them,” she said with a shake of her head. “We can have them over soon.”
“Have you spoken to Nonno recently?” I asked hesitantly.
“Not really.” She shook her head again. “I’ve been busy.”
“So you’ve not seen him, either?” I frowned, my heart feeling heavy. I was the one who was keeping her from him.
“No, I’ll see him soon.” She smiled at me. “I’ve been busy trying to turn this place into a real home. Maybe we’ll have my folks over and your dad.”
“Yeah.” Over my dead body.
“And is your dad seeing anyone? We can invite his latest paramour as well.” She giggled. “I swear that man goes through women like some women go through underwear.”
“I’m not sure what he’s doing right now or if he’s still dating the same lady, or one or more ladies.” My mind immediately flew to Barbie and I could feel myself growing uncomfortable. What would Mila say if I told her that Barbie was sleeping with my dad? If I just dropped it casually into the conversation like it was no big thing, would she react as if it were no big thing? Would she smile and say, “Oh really? That’s funny. Wow, Barbie really gets around.” I half-smiled as that thought crossed my mind. Yeah, right. There was no way that my Mila would ever act that calmly. She’d go quiet first, thinking about what I’d said and then when she processed everything and realized she’d heard correctly, she would lose it. Maybe she’d start shouting. Maybe she’d cry. But I knew that she’d be anything but calm and accepting. That was not a small lie that I could just sweep under the rug.