“It’s not funny,” I wailed. “I need your advice. Should I say something to him or just pretend I don’t know what he did?”
“Mila, ignorance is never the answer,” Nonno said, and Sally nodded.
“I feel like an idiot. He’s going to think I’m a liar.”
“You did lie, Mi Cara.”
“Nonno,” I wailed again and gave Sally a look.
“Maybe you and Sally need to have a talk about what you really want and maybe you both need to talk to your young men and see if they want the same thing.”
“Yeah, that’s going to happen,” I said sarcastically. “Thanks, Nonno, I’ve got to go now.”
“Don’t be upset with me, dear. I’m just giving you the best advice that I can.”
“I know,” I said and sighed. “I love you, Nonno. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“I love you too,” he said and then I hung up and looked at Sally.
“So that wasn’t a big help,” I said as I flounced back on the bed next to her.
“Yeah, it was.” She looked at me, her eyes gazing into mine sorrowfully. “Cody’s not ready for love, and TJ is playing the same games you’re playing.”
“I’m not playing…” I stopped talking and made a face. “Okay, I’m playing games, but only because I’m scared to put myself out there. I don’t know what TJ wants.”
“You know he wants you.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “He’s obviously sexually attracted to you. He wants you.”
“Yeah, he wants some sex from me. Woohoo.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure you could hook up with Cody as well, if you wanted. I want him to want more from me than just sex.”
“So tell him that.”
“Are you joking?” I looked at her. “Would you tell Cody that?”
“Hell no.” Sally laughed slightly. “Fine. Don’t tell TJ you want his babies.”
“Yeah, or the fact that I’ve saved myself for him.”
“Yeah, or that fact.” She shook her head. “You’re crazy—you know that, right?”
“Yes.” I nodded and hugged myself. “But even if it doesn’t go anywhere with TJ, I still want him to be my first. I’m a romantic like that.”
“Uh huh,” Sally said. “TJ doesn’t look like the sort of guy who’s going to make love to you the first time you’re together.”
“Sally!” I blushed.
“What? She giggled. “He looks like he’s going to pound the shit out of you and have you begging for more.”
“Sally.” I shook my head at her as my body tingled.
“What?” She grinned. “He’ll be flipping you over, bending you over, having you touch the tips of your toes while he—”
Knock knock.
“Mila, you in there?” TJ’s deep voice interrupted Sally talking and we both froze. “Mila?” TJ knocked again and then opened the door. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked as he looked at us lying on the bed together.
“No.” I glared up at him, annoyed that he looked so handsome and so cocky at the same time. “What do you want?”
“To talk to you.” He winked at me. “Unless you’re otherwise engaged.”
“What do you want to talk about?” I sat up, feeling my heart racing. If he made some sort of sexual innuendo, I was going to scream.
“Stuff.” He shrugged, his eyes crinkling. “Can’t we just have a conversation together? We’re adults now. Friends, even. Can’t friends just talk?”
“Yes, they can,” Sally said, answering for me, and pushed me out of the bed. “Go and talk to the man, Mila. I want my bed to myself.”
“You sure?” I looked over at her. “You going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” She nodded, putting a brave face on.
“Okay.” I jumped off of the bed and looked at TJ. “We can talk.” I walked towards him and he smiled at me gently.
“Good.” He stepped back into the hallway. “I’ll see you later, Sally.”
“See you guys,” she said and gave me a small smile and a wink before I headed out of the room.
***
“So, what did you want to talk about?” I crossed my arms and looked at TJ as we walked down the corridor.
“Not much,” he said, looking amused.
“Just come out with it, TJ. I know you hired Troy.”
“Troy—your boyfriend?” TJ looked shocked. “How could I hire your boyfriend? The man that you love?”
“You know I do not love Troy.” I glared at him as we walked into the living room.
“How am I supposed to know that?” He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Last night wouldn’t have happened,” I said, my face red.
“What happened last night that wouldn’t have happened?” he said with a grin, as he licked his lips.
“You know,” I said, staring at the tip of his tongue and remembering how it had felt the night before.
“I know what?” he said.
“You know.” I shook my head.
“Are you talking about how I made you come with my fingers when we were in the lake or how I made you come with my tongue when we were out of the lake?” he said with a huge grin as his green eyes sparkled.
“You’re a dog.”
“Not a pig?” he said. “Have I gone up in the world or come down?”
“Travis James Walker! What do you want? And why did you hire Troy?”
“I did it for you.” He smiled sweetly. “You said you wanted your Troy to be here this weekend and as I was pretty sure there wasn’t a real Troy, so I figured a different Troy would do.”
“You made me lie to you.”
“I made you lie to me?” His eyes crinkled. “Or you just continued on with your lie?”
“You’re twisting things.” I sighed. “I wasn’t intending to continue the lie.” I looked away from him, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"So let me ask you a question." TJ's voice was serious and I could feel my heart slowing as I gazed into his eyes. I wasn't used to a serious TJ.
"Sure," I said, trying to smile but failing.
"What do you think of me?" he asked, his eyes not leaving mine.
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"What do you think of me?" he asked again. This time his lips looked thin and I wondered where he was going.
"Are you asking me if I think of you?" I asked, wondering if this was some sort of trick question.
"No, Mila." He let out a sigh and turned away from me. "Just forget it." I could hear the exhaustion and frustration in his voice, and I knew that I needed to think of his feelings more than my own pride and embarrassment. For some reason, this was really important to him.
"Wait," I said and grabbed his shoulder. "I'll tell you." I bit down on my lower lip and I could feel my stomach curdling. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. I had no idea how honest I was going to be with him.
"It's fine," he said as he turned to look at me. "It doesn't matter."
"It does matter," I said and searched his face. I knew that for some reason what I was about to say really mattered to him, but I just didn't understand why.
"Okay." His lips pursed and we stood there in silence, just looking at each other.
"So can I ask you one question before I say what I think of you?" I asked softly.
"I want to know what you think of me because I think that perhaps you're the only person in the world whose opinion matters to me," he said before I could even ask him the question.
"How did you know what I was going to say?" I blinked up at him.
"Because that's the same question that I would have asked." He gave me a half-smile. "And you know what, I'll answer that question for you. Mila. I think you are like the birds in the morning: chirpy, bright, colorful, full of life and wondrous. The birds remind us that we are alive, they make us happy, they sing their hearts out with nary a worry and they deliver us gifts of love and joy without asking for a thing back."
"You really think I'm like that?" I asked him with a laugh. "I don't know how many people think I'm delivering gifts of love and joy in the morning. I think Cody would beg to differ with you."
"Cody wouldn't know a gift of love if it hit him in the face." TJ grinned. "He's your brother. Most brothers don't see what the rest of the world sees in their sisters"
"Or their sisters’ best friends," I said and I felt a pang of pain for Sally. Cody had ripped her heart out and didn't even seem to care.
"Cody is a fool." TJ made a face. "I'm sorry for Sally."
"It's fine." I pursed my lips. "She deserves better than him. I’m sorry for you.”
“Why are you sorry for me?” He frowned.
“Because of Barbie?”
“Ha.” He shook his head. “Barbie was never mine and I never wanted her to be. She was my Troy.”
“She was your Troy?”
“Are you trying to make me forget the question I asked you?” TJ said with a small smile. “Do you want to go by the lake?”
“We can go by the lake.” I nodded. “But I wasn’t trying to change the subject.” I looked at him thoughtfully. I wasn’t sure why TJ wanted to know what I thought of him. I didn’t know why it was so important to him. His mood seemed different, more intense and less teasing. We walked outside and took the path to the lake and I listened to the birds whistling as I tried to think of what to say. I grabbed his sleeve to stop him before we got to the deck chairs and looked up into his face. “So, TJ Walker. You wanted to know what I think of you?”