Prologue
TJ
Present Day
“I can’t make your decision for you, Mila.” My voice was deep, some might say husky, as I looked down into her wide eyes. She was gazing at me with a question in her big brown eyes and her lips were slightly parted. “What’s your answer?”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked me softly as she stepped towards me, licking her lips nervously. Her long blond hair hung around her shoulders and small runaway wisps blew into her eyes. I leaned over and moved them gently behind her ear. She blushed at my touch and I made sure to let my fingers linger on her cheek for a few seconds. I could feel the heat emanating off of her skin onto my fingertips.
“I want you to experience the happiness, the joy, the goodness that you deserve.” My voice sounded too serious and I wasn’t altogether sure why I’d chosen those exact words. I wasn’t really sure why I was here myself, with her, about to do something I knew I shouldn’t do.
“I wish I could control what happens next,” she said, her voice breathless. I gazed down into her eyes and my heart stopped as I saw the emotion there. She was letting me in, baring her soul to me in a naked, vulnerable way. Her eyes reminded me of a young, innocent doe I’d seen in the woods one year when I’d gone deer hunting with a friend’s family. I’d felt guilty then and I felt guilty now as well.
“There’s not much that is going to happen next.” I sounded harsher than I’d intended. I didn’t know how to tell her that I was mad at myself, not at her. She wouldn’t understand my inner turmoil. “We’re going to kiss and then you’re going to dump that loser of a boyfriend.” I put my hands on her waist and stilled them from going higher.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she squeaked out as she closed her eyes and lifted her lips up to me, waiting. Her shoulders were thrust back indignantly and I stared down at the curve of her breasts and down to her long legs. She’d grown into a beautiful young woman. A very beautiful young woman that I knew I shouldn’t let myself indulge in.
“You’re damn right he’s not,” I growled before bending down and lightly pressing my lips against hers. They were so soft and sweet, and she kissed me back eagerly as her fingers fumbled with my shirt. I grabbed her hands and clasped them in mine as I deepened the kiss, allowing my tongue to enter her mouth and taste the delicate hint of freshly picked strawberries that she’d just eaten. She moaned slightly as I sucked on her tongue and my hands let go of hers and moved up her waist, making their way up to her bra. All thoughts of Cody warning me to stay away from his sister were far from my mind.
“Oh, TJ,” she said as she grabbed my hand and moved it up and pressed it against her breast. “Oh, yes.”
“Oh, no.” I stopped and pulled back. Her eyes blinked open and she looked at me with a slightly bewildered and lost expression. She looked hot and flustered and I loved it, though I kept my grin to myself.
“What are you doing?” She pouted. “Why did you stop?”
“You didn’t think it would be this easy, did you?” I said with a smirk, feeling hot and bothered myself. “Nothing happens until I get your decision.”
“But, I just can’t pretend to be your fiancée, TJ. That’s not right.” She licked her lips nervously.
“You can’t?” I said softly, allowing my fingers to trace the curve of her lips. “Or you won’t?”
“I read the contract,” she said and swallowed. “What you’re asking—it’s too much.”
“For you or for me?” I asked, my eyes never leaving hers. “What’s four weeks, Mila?” I said as I pushed the tip of my finger into her mouth and watched as she sucked it gently. She just stared at me, thinking, and I could see her mind racing. She had no idea what to say or do. I’d beaten her at her own game and she knew it. Now I was ready to take my prize. And I was going to take it whether she became my fake fiancée or not.
Chapter One
Mila
September 19th, 2008
Dear Diary,
I’m in love. I want to marry TJ Walker. He’s Cody’s best friend. He has dark brown hair and big green eyes and he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life. He stayed over last night and I saw him coming out of the bathroom in only his boxer shorts. I had thoughts I shouldn’t have at 15, but I don’t care. He gave me a lazy, sexy smile and ruffled my hair like I was some kid. How annoying. He only sees me as a goofy teenager. He doesn’t know that I’m ready to date a college man. Even one that’s stupid enough to be friends with Cody, but I’ll forgive him for that. One day, hopefully soon, I’m going to make him fall in love with me. And when that day comes, I’m going to show him this diary. Perhaps. Until that point, I’ll continue to flirt with Harry Jonas, my lab partner. He’s kinda cute too. Just not as hot as TJ. Even TJ’s name is hot. And Mila Walker sounds a lot better than Mila Jonas. Oh, how I hope to be Mila Walker one day. A girl can only dream.
Mila
XOXO
P.S. Mom, if you’re reading this, you are dead to me!!!!!
Thursday, Two Weeks Ago
His name is TJ Walker. He’s 28, hot as can be and he’s my brother’s best friend. Which means he is off-limits to me. Some may say 28 is too old for my 22 years, but I beg to differ. Guys my age are just way too immature. I need a man, not a boy. And the man I want is TJ Walker. Only, I can never have him.
Not that he wants me. To him, I’m just Cody’s little sister. I’m a girl in his eyes. Not a woman. And while I was in high school, I accepted that maybe I was too young for him. But now that I’m out of college and older, I’m willing to do anything to change his mind. At least, I think I am. I mean, it’s easy to say you’re willing to do anything when there is nothing on the table. But who knows what I would do if presented with some real situations?
I’m not exactly a femme fatale. Or at least I haven’t been up to now. It doesn’t help that TJ and I constantly spar every time we see each other, or that I want to slap him as much as I want to make love to him. Yes, I want to make love to him. If you saw him, you would know why. He’s one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s tall and stocky just like I like them, about 6'2" and 200 pounds of lean muscle. He’s got short, silky dark-brown hair and dazzling emerald eyes. He must work out quite a bit because his legs are muscular and his arms are strong, and would be capable of holding me in obnoxious positions for long amounts of time, if you know what I mean.
Yes, I have dirty thoughts, but I’ve never really been able to act on them. Well, not yet. The only man I want to do all the dirty things I have in my mind to is TJ. I want him to make love to me until I can’t even remember my own name. Or his. Though, let’s be real, it would be very hard to forget TJ Walker’s name, especially when you’ve been crushing on him for as long as I’ve been. Don’t get me wrong, though, I’m not just waiting around for him to realize he loves me; not anymore, at least. I have a plan that I’m hoping to put into action.
If you haven’t figured it out as yet, I’m a realist and a pragmatist, while also being a dreamer. Don’t ask how that works. I don’t really know. My best friend, Sally, says that I’m an enigma. I tend to agree with her. I don’t even understand myself sometimes.
But enough about me, let’s get back to TJ. Like I said before, he’s hot. Like really, really hot. Tall-dark-and-handsome hot. Or, as Sally would say, take-off-your-pants-and-fuck-me-tonight hot. Of course, I wouldn’t say that—well, not out loud I wouldn’t. Though, I’ve had many dreams where I’ve said that and more to TJ. “Take me now, TJ,” being the phrase most often uttered in my dreams. And he always rises to the occasion. If you know what I mean. And it’s not just about his looks, or the fact that he’s rich. I’m not one of those types of girls. I like TJ because he’s a good guy. He helps feed homeless people at Thanksgiving and he’s a Big Brother to this kid who is pretty bratty. And I know he’s not a psychopath, or at least I hope he’s not. I’ve known him since I was a baby, so I would hope I would have seen the signs.
You may be wondering, if I like TJ so much, why don’t I just go after him? Well, for one, he’s my brother Cody’s best friend and has been for 20 years. So he’s known me since I was a little kid with snot in my nose, and I guess that makes him think of me as his little sister. But I sure don’t think of him as an older brother. And I’m determined for him to notice me as more than a little girl.
There’s just one problem, though. There are parts of him that I don’t really like. I mean, I think he’s hot and sexy, and I have dreams about him, but in real life, sometimes he’s an arrogant asshole who thinks he’s God’s gift to women, thanks to the many hot women who throw themselves at him daily.
So, yeah. I have a bit of a moral dilemma on my hands. Should I go for it, knowing he’s an asshole, or should I leave it alone, because he’s an asshole? And to make it perfectly clear, TJ doesn’t care who knows that he’s a player. That’s one of the reasons why Cody told him that if he ever laid a hand on me, he’d find his two front teeth knocked out on the floor. That didn’t exactly help my cause when I was younger and openly flirting with TJ.