"He and I have been together for years," she said, reaching out to tug on Lancelot's forelock.
Lancelot ignored her, keeping his eyes shut. He had a strong belief that inertia was better than movement.
"He's awake," she told Mulberry. "He doesn't want to leave the stables, but if you pull him out of his stall, he'll become livelier."
Mulberry looked dubious, but he opened the stall door and dragged Lancelot away.
Mia was about to follow when she noticed that Jafeer had moved to the closest side of his stall and was staring at her, his brown eyes bright and curious.
He didn't look wicked or wild anymore. He looked interested.
She took a step toward him and he bent his head and whickered. There were times when the only thing that would get Lancelot moving was a piece of apple, which meant Mia's pockets were full of them.
She held one out to him and he lipped it delicately from her palm. "Are you as fast as the wind?" she asked him.
He jerked his head up, almost as if he were answering her. "You are not the horse for me," she told him, because he had begun snuffling her hair, almost as if he were flirting. "You're taller than any horse should be. And you're as fast as the wind, remember? I don't even care to trot."
Mulberry reappeared at the far end of the aisle. Mia quickly backed up before she could be caught. Jafeer made a little sound in his throat, as if he were disappointed, which was ridiculous.
"I have to go," Mia said. She turned and began walking toward the open door. Immediately she heard the bellow of an infuriated horse. Whirling, she saw Jafeer rise up on his back legs, come back down and give the back of his stall a vicious kick.
Without thinking, she marched back and said, "You stop that immediately!"
He was rearing up; his front hooves thumped back to the floor and it seemed to her that he had a guilty look in his eye.
"You know better than to make trouble like that."
Jafeer arched his neck again, reaching over the door to snuffle her hair.
Mia patted his muscled neck tentatively. He was lipping her curls and threatening to make her hair fall from its pins, so she gave him another piece of apple. He ate it enthusiastically, and then with a gusty blow of air from his nostrils his large head came down and rested on her shoulder.
Mia remained still, raising her hand to scratch around his ear. He moved his ears forward and back, and sighed once more, an unmistakably contented sound. After a moment, Mia stepped back and put both her hands on his face, looking into his eyes.
They stared back at her, liquid and sweet. "You are nothing more than a fraud," she said. "Aren't you? You aren't unmanageable at all."
"Your Grace," Mulberry said from just beyond her shoulder. "Please step away slowly. I warned you about that horse. He bites."
"Nonsense," she said, reaching up to scratch Jafeer above the eyes. "He's as sweet as Lancelot, just less sleepy."
Jafeer gave another gusty sigh and closed his eyes, letting her scratch his brow. His eyelashes were long and curled at the ends. "I think he's lonely."
"Lonely?"
"See? He just wanted someone to pay some attention to him."
"Your Grace, he has had attention," the stable master said in a stifled voice. "The horse cost hundreds of guineas, so he's not only had the attention of the duke, but all of us in turn have attempted to calm him."
"Perhaps you didn't try the right way?" Mia suggested. "Have you tried apples?" She reached in her pocket and took out another piece of apple. "Look, he loves them."
"Did we try apples?" Mulberry sounded stupefied. "Your Grace, we have tried every conceivable kind of vegetable and fruit, the best oats, specially made bran-and-mash. Do you see his ribs? That horse has been starving himself."
Mia let go of Jafeer and rose on her toes to look over his door. He instantly backed up to give her room.
Sure enough, his manger was full of oats. "Jafeer," Mia said, pointing to the box. "You must eat."
He made a funny noise, almost as if he were talking to her.
Mia leaned against the door. "I suppose I could stay here for a little time," she told him, "but I must go for a ride. Lancelot is waiting for me." Jafeer bent his head and began to lip up the oats.
"Well, damn my britches," Mulberry exclaimed, instantly adding, "Please excuse me, Your Grace."
Mia laughed. Jafeer had obviously remembered how delicious oats were; Mia patted his neck and he raised his head and whickered at her, but lowered his head again immediately.
After a few minutes, Mia made her way out to the paddock. Mulberry hoisted her onto Lancelot's broad back just as a groom emerged from the stable on his own mount. Mia's heart sank. She was desperate for escape, and the last thing she wanted was the quizzical gaze of a bored young groom as she and Lancelot meandered down the path, stopping now and then, which allowed Lancelot to fortify himself with some grass due to the unwonted exercise of carrying her.
"I have no need for an escort," she told Mulberry. "I'm sorry to have wasted your time," she added, nodding to the groom.
"Your Grace," Mulberry objected, "you cannot think to go for a ride without an escort."
"That's exactly what I intend," she said. When he started to protest, she drew herself upright. She might as well practice looking like a duchess. "I shall ride alone," she stated. "I shall return in an hour or thereabouts. Good afternoon, Mulberry."
With that, she pointed Lancelot toward the open gate. He ambled through it, resigned to the fact that she was forcing him to take her for a ride.
Mia leaned forward and patted his neck. "Good boy, Lancelot." Behind her she heard Jafeer's infuriated bellow and the pounding of hooves. He must have realized that she had left while he was eating.
She followed a path that wound from behind the stables, skirted the edge of the lawns and wandered off into the woods. The moment she was out of sight of the looming house Mia felt as if she were finally able to breathe. It was as if she'd been swept up in a whirlwind, only to find there was no air in the middle of the storm.
A short time ago, she'd been in the local church, waiting to become Mrs. Edward Reeve, when Sir Richard had announced that Edward had fled, and she had instantly plunged into a panic from which she had yet to emerge.
In the last weeks, her every muscle had remained taut with fear. Now she could relax. Whatever happened to her, Charlie would be secure, financially as well as physically. Vander would prudently administer the estate, not like Sir Richard, who would have wasted Charlie's patrimony in frivolous lawsuits.
Vander would never do that, and Edward wouldn't have either. For the first time she let herself really think about the fact that her fiancé had left the country rather than marry her.
Her throat tightened. It felt terrible.
Edward had kissed her as if he meant it. After their first kiss, he had pulled back, laughing. And yet he looked at her in such a way . . .
Obviously, desire was not enough to ensure loyalty. She had believed Edward loved her, but in hindsight, he had been temporarily lustful. Like Vander.
For a moment she wobbled in the saddle, struck by the realization that someday Vander would take a mistress, a beautiful sylphlike woman, someone he might love the way Thorn Dautry loved his wife.
Tears began to slide down Mia's cheeks. There was a reason she wrote Lucibella novels: she longed to be loved, and to fall in love.
Her father hadn't been adept at paternal duties. But he had loved the late Duchess of Pindar. He was happiest dancing with Her Grace. Mia had seen him circling the dance floor a hundred times, his hair gilt-bright in the light thrown from chandeliers, proud to be holding his love in his arms.
The memory made the tears come even faster. She had hoped-dreamed-that someday she would love someone with the same passion, but within the bonds of marriage. She hadn't felt overly ardent with Edward, but she had genuinely liked him and she had been certain they would grow to love each other with time.
Now, if Mia were ever to experience love, it would have to be adulterous. Her love would be tarnished like her father's, hemmed in by shame.
She closed her eyes and let Lancelot go where he would as an occasional sob wracked her chest. She came back to herself only when they stopped moving.
The first thing she saw, blurrily, when she opened her eyes was a large hand holding Lancelot's reins. She looked slowly from the hand past an expanse of fine wool, a strong jaw, blue eyes. Angry blue eyes.