“Mine,” he growled in her ear as she moaned and writhed against him. “You’re mine, Lauren. Mine forever.”
“Yes,” she promised breathlessly. “Yes. God, yes, Xairn. Yes.” This is it, she thought hazily as the pleasure poured over her, through her. He’s going to take me now. We’re going to make love. God, I want him inside me so badly…
“No!” Suddenly he withdrew his fingers and pushed her away from him.
“What…?” Lauren stared in surprise as he got off the bed and stalked stiffly to the bathroom.
“I’m sorry.” Xairn’s eyes blazed a steady red-on-black when he looked back at her. “But we can’t. I can’t.”
Then he went into the bathroom and Lauren heard a small clicking sound as he locked the door behind him.
* * * * *
Gods that was close. Too close! Xairn slumped against the bathroom door, one arm over his burning eyes. The feel of Lauren’s soft, naked body writhing against his own as she came in his arms had been almost too much to bear. He’d been right on the verge of snapping, of rolling her over on the bed, covering her slight, soft body with his own, and ramming his cock to the hilt in her pussy. He’d had no choice but to get away from her—to run before his urges overtook him.
Gods, he was dying for relief! He needed to release the tension inside him before he lost control and went back to the bedroom to finish what he’d started.
Xairn grimaced with mingled pain and pleasure as he rubbed a hand roughly over the hard ridge of his secondary shaft. It felt swollen and hot—throbbing for release. Because his sexual urges had been repressed for so long, he’d never had this problem before. Acting on instinct, he unfastened his pants and pushed them down, freeing his shaft.
Though the DNA alteration had changed his skin and eye color, it had left him physically intact. His secondary shaft was hard and long and his primary shaft—his bonding shaft—which forked from the top of its base, was short and inactive. Xairn was grateful that it remained unaffected by what had happened with Lauren. If his bonding shaft had been stimulated, he would have lost control completely. There was no way to deactivate it short of bonding his chosen female to him, and he had already promised himself that he would never do that to Lauren, no matter how much he wanted to.
But Gods, the way she trembled in my arms, the soft, helpless sounds she made, the way she called my name when I touched her. Her soft skin, her scent, her taste… Everything about her conspired to make him want her desperately. So much that he feared what might happen if he went back to her without releasing the burning tension inside him.
Trembling, Xairn took his secondary shaft in one hand. The first stroke was agony—his skin was too sensitized and his body needed a softer, female touch. Scourge didn’t typically relieve their own sexual needs in this way. As soon as they became sexually mature they either took a female, or died fighting to get one. But though Xairn had a willing female waiting for him in the next room, he didn’t dare to go to her. Didn’t dare to touch her until some of his sexual tension had been released.
Gritting his teeth, Xairn stroked again. His hips bucked involuntarily, his body protesting the rough pleasure he was giving himself. Every instinct inside him cried out that he needed a female’s touch—Lauren’s touch—but he forced himself to stay in the small bathroom and not go to her. Forced himself to keep stroking. Gods, it hurt! But not as much as forcing her would. Not as much as seeing the hurt, betrayed look in her eyes after he took her in the fashion of his people.
Lauren, Gods, I love you so much. Want you so much…too much. Xairn raised his other hand to his face—the hand he’d touched her with. Her warm, delicious scent filled his senses, somehow easing the pain of his self pleasuring. Xairn felt his heart fist in his chest—even when she wasn’t with him she helped him.
He pressed his fingers to his mouth, sucking away her sweet juices, taking comfort in her taste. She was so beautiful, so sweet and kind and good. Too good for one such as him. And yet Xairn knew he couldn’t let her go. No matter how wrong or dangerous it was for him to stay with her, he needed her. Needed her badly.
Picturing her in his arms, remembering how she had sobbed his name in pleasure, and tasting her sweet juices finally brought about his own painful climax. Xairn groaned her name and winced as the pearly white cum jetted from the tip of his secondary shaft, calming his need at last.
Panting, he slumped against the bathroom wall. He was grateful that the tension had been released, but touching himself rather than having a female touch him was an agonizing experience. Still, he realized, it was something he would probably have to repeat over and over if he wanted to stay with Lauren without hurting her.