No! Xairn tried to get hold of himself. No I can’t let it go that far. Can’t ever bond her to me. Because he knew if he ever let go of his control enough to do that, he would hurt her, would break her fragile body with his rough fucking and fierce sexual demands.
It’s not safe, he told himself angrily. Damn it to the seven hells, none of this is safe. Her mother is right not to trust me—I can’t even trust myself!
But then he risked a glance to his side and saw Lauren’s lovely, worried face. This was what she wanted—to touch and be touched. She wanted his hands on her almost as much as Xairn wanted to put them there. People who love each other show it by being close and touching, she’d said. But how could he do that without losing control?
“Forgive me,” he said roughly. “I’m just…this is difficult for me.”
“Because it’s new?” Lauren touched his arm anxiously and he flinched away before he could stop himself.
Xairn hated to see the hurt look on her face. “Because I want so much more,” he said, looking down at his hands. “Because…because I’m afraid of what I might do to you.”
Lauren sighed. “You’re not going to hurt me, Xairn. Just touch me—I won’t break.”
His hands clenched into fists again. “I…I don’t know how,” he confessed in a low voice. “You know I have never been with a female, Lauren. I don’t know how to…to bring you pleasure without going too far and hurting you.”
“Then I’ll teach you.” She smiled at him. “Will you let me?”
Xairn closed his eyes tightly. Could he bear this? Would he be able to keep control of himself well enough to give her pleasure without snapping and taking her completely?
“I…want to,” he said slowly. “Maybe…maybe if you allow me to do the touching and don’t try to touch me in return.”
“You wanna be in the driver’s seat, huh?” She gave him a playful smile.
“More like I need to be,” Xairn said truthfully. He looked at her. “I…I think I can control my darker urges if I am the one in control. But if I feel your hands and mouth on me again…” He shook his head. “I just don’t know.”
“All right then.” Lauren nodded thoughtfully. “We can do that.” Gracefully, she got off the bed and knelt on the floor in front of him. “I am yours to command, Master.” Her amber eyes danced playfully. “What would you have me do?”
“Stop it,” Xairn said hoarsely. Seeing her submissive posture brought his Scourge desires to the surface as nothing else could. His shaft throbbed painfully in his pants and he closed his eyes briefly, fighting for control. “I know you’re joking but please…please don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” Lauren rose and came to stand between his legs. She was close enough that Xairn could feel the heat of her body but she was obviously being careful not to make contact. “I…I don’t know why I did that,” she confessed, sounding confused. “So…what do you want to do?”
“I want to touch you,” he said honestly. “Touch you but not hurt you. But first I want…I want to see you.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “You mean…naked?”
“Yes. If you don’t mind.” The times he’d glimpsed her naked body were still burned into his brain. Especially when she’d offered herself to him if he would save her from his father. Now she was offering herself for a different reason—because she loved him. Xairn wanted desperately to return that love without hurting her but he wasn’t sure he could.
“Well, I’m a little shy…” Lauren bit her lip. “I know you’ve seen me before, but…”
Xairn shook his head. “It’s all right if you would rather not.”
“No, I want to. I do.” Lifting her chin, she pulled the t-shirt over her head, baring the lacy undergarment which cupped her breasts. It was white and the contrast of the pale fabric against the creamy light brown of her skin was breathtaking.
“Beautiful,” Xairn breathed, reaching up to stroke the outline of one nipple, visible through the white fabric.
Lauren sucked in a breath and smiled. “How about if I lose the bra?” Before he could answer, she was unfastening the back of the garment and slipping it off her arms. It fluttered to the floor and lay there in a small heap of white lace, baring her breasts to him completely.
Xairn felt his eyes go blazing hot for a moment as he took in the lovely sight. Her breasts were high and full, just the right size to fill his palms. And her nipples were tight—ripe berries at the tips of her breasts. Hesitantly, he reached for her and Lauren thrust forward, pressing her warm mounds into the palms of his hands. She moaned softly, a sound which seemed to go straight to the hard ridge of his cock and make him even harder.