Found(59)

“Make me feel better?” Lauren looked at him in disbelief. “What about you?” She gestured at his chest. “What about that? Why did you let them? The Judge wanted to brand me—it should have been me.”

“Are you saying I should have stepped back and allowed you to be hurt—to be burned—without trying to protect you?” His eyes flashed briefly red-on-black. “What kind of male do you think I am? I may not know how to comfort you properly but I would never willingly allow you to come to harm!”

“But look what they did to you!” Lauren protested. “It must hurt horribly! And how will you ever get it off?”

“What makes you think I would wish to remove it?” Xairn asked quietly. “Did I not say I was proud to wear your name on my body?”

“How can you say that? How can you be so calm about this whole thing?” Lauren heard the tremble in her own voice but she couldn’t seem to stop it. “I mean now even after…after you leave, you’ll always have my name on you like…like a stain you can’t get off.”

“It’s not a stain,” he said softly. “It is a brand—a mark of possession. It denotes ownership.”

Lauren shook her head. “I don’t understand. Whatever point you’re trying to make—I don’t get it.”

Xairn looked at her steadily. “I spoke the truth when I told the Judge of the Market that you owned me.”

“What are you talking about?” Lauren protested. “How could I own you?”

“Because I am yours—body and soul.” To her surprise, he sank slowly to his knees and looked up at her earnestly. “I realized something when I nearly lost you the second time to the Spider, Lauren—I cannot leave you.” His deep voice was hoarse with emotion. “It is wrong and selfish and I still fear hurting you—fear it desperately—but I simply don’t have the strength to leave you on Earth and go.” He bowed his head. “You have mastered me without raising a finger—I am yours.”

Lauren could hardly believe it. Her heart started pounding like crazy with a dizzying mixture of hope and fear. “You…you mean it? Xairn do you really mean it? You’ll stay with me on Earth? You won’t leave?” She got on her knees in front of him and cupped his face in both hands. “Look in my eyes and tell me again,” she begged. “Please, I need to hear it again.”

He looked at her, his blue-green eyes filled with pain. “I am completely serious—I will stay with you. But…”

“But what?” Lauren looked at him anxiously. “I thought I owned you—there are conditions?”

“Not conditions so much as requests.” Xairn still looked pained. “I will stay with you for as long as you want me but I would ask that we limit our physical contact. And that there should be nothing…” he swallowed. “Nothing sexual between us.”

“What?” Lauren shook her head. “Xairn, honey, we can’t be in a relationship with no touching. I don’t know if you noticed but I’m a really touchy person.” She ran her hands down the smooth column of his neck and over his broad shoulders to illustrate her point. “I mean, I just can’t help myself—I need contact. And I bet you do too. Don’t you like it when I touch you?”

“I do.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving convulsively. “Much more than I should. Please, Lauren, this request is for your own safety.”

“I’m not worried about that,” she said, squeezing his shoulders. “Not a bit. I feel safer with you than I ever have with anyone else in my whole life.”

“Well you shouldn’t.” He looked frustrated. “Don’t you know by now what your touch does to me? How even the lightest brush of your fingertips across my skin makes me react? I can’t trust myself with you, Lauren. And you…you shouldn’t trust me either.”

Lauren let out a surprised burst of laughter. “Xairn, be serious! You don’t honestly think you’re going to snap and rape me, do you?”

He closed his eyes tightly and pulled away from her hands. “That is exactly what I fear,” he whispered.

Lauren was a little taken aback. “Xairn, honey, you would never…”

“How do you know what I would or wouldn’t do?” he demanded, his eyes flashing briefly red-on-black. “When I don’t even know myself? I only know the ways of my people, Lauren, and they are savage and sadistic.” He ran a hand through his thick black hair distractedly. “I don’t even know how to touch you, how to bring you pleasure instead of pain. I don’t know how to let you touch me without wanting to do things…things I do not even wish to think about.”