Found(39)

“I do care about you, Lauren,” he admitted in a low voice. “That’s the main reason we cannot become sexually involved.”

She bit her lip. “Are you saying you don’t want me?”

“No!” Xairn ran a hand over his hair and took a deep breath. “I do want you. Much more than I should. But I don’t want to hurt you. My Scourge nature—”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “So you’re really going to use that as an excuse? Your nature? Your race?”

He frowned. “It’s no excuse. It is the truth.”

“Well, I’m not buying it.” Lauren came forward and poked him in the chest with one finger. “I think you’re scared—scared of any kind of relationship, sexual or otherwise.” She sighed. “Look, Xairn, I’m not normally a pushy person—especially about things like this. But, well, I like you. A lot. And if you like me too and we finally got away from your father, well, what’s to stop us from taking things to the next level?”

“What exactly do you mean by the ‘next level?’” he asked warily.

Lauren smiled. “You could start by kissing me.”

“Kissing?”

“You know—you put your mouth on mine? I gave you a kiss before, don’t you remember?”

Xairn eyed her lush mouth longingly. He well remembered the soft touch of her lips against his own—it had been just after he promised to keep her safe from his father and take her home. She’d been happy and had pressed her lips to his in a display of spontaneous joy and affection. The gesture had deeply affected him but he understood instinctively that it would be a bad idea to repeat it. It was too intimate…too dangerous.

“You say that I’m scared?” he said, looking at Lauren. “Well it’s true—I am. Because I don’t want to harm you. To do the things I’ve seen done. The things…” He cleared his throat and looked away. “The things I’ve seen my father do to females.”

“You’re not your father, Xairn.” Lauren’s voice was gentle as she reached up to cup his cheek. “You’re nothing like him. Or any of those other Scourge for that matter.”

“You’re wrong!” Xairn pulled away before her touch could start an avalanche of desire that would bury his reason. “I am like them,” he said fiercely. “Their actions—their desires—they are my birthright. I have denied my father and forsworn my race but how can I escape something written in my very blood?”

Lauren frowned. “And these desires you’re talking about…they’re really that bad?”

Something close to despair welled up in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to crush her to him, to press his lips to hers until she was burned into his senses forever. And though he could scarcely believe it, that was apparently what Lauren wanted too. But I can’t. I must not give in to this emotion, this desire for her.

“Fine,” he said heavily. “You wish to know about Scourge sexual practices? I’ll tell you.” Pacing over to the sleeping platform, he sat on the side, his shoulders slumped. “Females are nonexistent among my kind but even before they became extinct, they were incredibly rare. So they were kept caged from childhood until they were ripe for breeding.”

Lauren swallowed with an audible click. “Caged like…like animals?”

“Exactly.” He nodded shortly. “By the time a female was ready to be bred, there were usually multiple males vying for her.”

Lauren frowned. “So what—she had to pick one?”

Xairn shook his head. “If only it were that simple. But the female in question never had a say in the matter—the males would decide it among themselves.”

“How?”

“A fight to the death. Sometimes as many as a thousand males would enter the battle but only one would emerge victorious to claim the female.” Xairn closed his eyes for a moment. Gods, she would think he was a monster when he was finished telling her the practices of his people. But if it was the only way to keep her out of danger he had no choice. “Then the winner would take her home and put the marks of possession on her,” he said.

“Marks…marks of possession?” Her voice was soft and uncertain. “What are those?”

“The Kindred are content to scent mark their females,” Xairn said in a low voice. “But there are other, darker marks of ownership the Scourge place on their females. Those are the marks of possession.”

“But what exactly are they?” Lauren still looked more interested than frightened which wasn’t good as far as Xairn was concerned.