Found(101)

She shook her head. What was going on? Why had Lorenzo obeyed Xairn’s commands like that? Had Xairn compelled him in some way? Or was it simply some kind of machismo—facing off against another male and not backing down because it would hurt his pride?

Whatever the reason, any kind of confrontation didn’t bode well for Lorenzo. Xairn had looked mad enough to kill her ex-assistant or at least maim him. Then again, looking around at the mess in her once pristine kitchen and food prep area, she was inclined to think Lorenzo deserved a little maiming.

Suddenly everything seemed to come down on her at once. In coming back to work, she was trying to get her life back on track—to get back to normal. But nothing was ever going to be normal again. Not really. For the first time she began to wonder if she ought to get some counseling after all. She’d been through a lot—maybe she hadn’t processed it yet. Maybe she never would.

If only things were going better with Xairn, what Lorenzo had done might not bother her so much. But nothing was working and lately she was wondering if he even wanted to be here with her at all. Maybe he would be happier if she just gave him back the silver O-ring she was wearing and let him go. You were supposed to do that, if you loved someone—give them the freedom to leave. But God, just the thought of it, of Xairn leaving, made her feel like her heart was being ripped out.

“God, what a mess,” she whispered, and she wasn’t talking about the trashed kitchen. Putting a hand to her face, she started to cry, low, wrenching sobs that felt like they were being pulled from her gut. Please, she thought. Please, I just want to make things all right. But I don’t know how…

“Lauren?”

Xairn’s deep voice took her by surprise. She did her best to stop crying and blotted her eyes quickly on her sleeve before she turned around. “Hi,” she said brightly, trying to smile. “Where’s Lorenzo? I hope you didn’t break his legs and leave him in the dumpster.” She was only half kidding—from the look on Xairn’s face when he took after her former assistant, broken legs weren’t the worst Lorenzo could expect if he pissed Xairn off.

“I let him go after I extracted a promise that he will never try to see or talk to you again. He’s lucky he didn’t harm you or I would have killed him.” Xairn frowned and came toward her. “Are you injured after all? I heard you crying.”

“Injured? Oh no, no I’m fine.” Lauren sniffed and tried to smile. “Just a little shaken up, that’s all.”

He shook his head. “It’s more than that, I can tell.” He held out his arms and then let them drop, helpless to his sides. “I…I want to comfort you but I’m not sure how to go about it.”

Lauren looked up at him. “Hold me,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “If…if you can stand it, I mean. I just…I need your arms around me now. Please, Xairn.”

“Of course I can stand it,” he said roughly. Coming forward, he swept her into his arms and held her tight against his chest. “I love you, Lauren,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry I don’t show it the way I should. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong but please know that I do love you.”

“I love you too.” Putting her arms around him, she buried her face in his broad chest and breathed in the warm, spicy scent of his skin. God, he always smelled so good, so perfectly right, somehow. It was as though the deep, masculine musk he exuded was part of her—just smelling it could make her feel better.

Xairn held her for a long time and she reveled in the feeling of being close to him for the first time in ages. A few more tears leaked down her cheeks but they were more tears of exhaustion than anything else. She’d been up all night analyzing their relationship and now she had a huge mess to clean up. Lauren sighed. Well, no time like the present.

Reluctantly, she disengaged herself from his embrace. “Thanks but I think I’d better get to work now. I’ve got a hell of a mess to clean up before I can even think about making any cupcakes.”

Xairn nodded as he let her go. “I’ll help.”

“You don’t have to,” she protested. “It’s my shop, I can do it.”

“I want to.” He looked around the kitchen. “Besides, it won’t be the first time I’ve cleaned. I helped in the urlich kennels when I was a boy—you should see the mess that fifty untrained animals can make in a night. It’s not pretty, I assure you.”

Lauren gave a little laugh. “Okay, well that does kind of put things in perspective.” She reached for the industrial sized garbage bags she kept in a box on the counter and tore off one for Xairn and one for herself. “I, uh, have a question,” she said, looking at him from the corner of her eye as she shook the bag out.