“Considering it’s barely seven in the morning, I don’t really need to ask, do I?”
“No, I suppose not.” I straightened slightly but kept walking.
“You know, I may be old, but I’m not that old,” he laughed.
I just shook my head, trying to hide the slight smirk he’d managed to get out of me. “Your jokes aren’t making this any better Brick,” I said, giving him a playful shove.
“Jokes always make everything better,” he argued, “Besides, who’s to say things need to be better than they already are? What if they’re already great now?”
I just shook my head in disbelief. “You really are as crazy as August said you were. Life is not great, Brick. It’s complicating and confusing and—”
“Real?”
“What?” I asked.
“Everyone’s life is complicated and confusing, Everly. It’s what keeps us breathing and not falling over dead of boredom. It’s the chaos that makes life worth it. Don’t deny what you’re feeling because it’s not simple or easy. Deny something because it doesn’t feel right, not because it’s complicated.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” I said as we passed another block. I took my last sip of coffee.
“Nah, what would I know? I’m just a country boy from the Midwest,” he winked.
“I’m just scared I’m falling down the rabbit hole again—bound to make the same mistakes with the same man over and over again.”
“But he’s not the same man, is he?” he reminded me.
“No, he’s not—but he could be.”
“Yes—he could and that’s a risk you have to decide if you’re willing to take. Because loving August as he is now doesn’t always mean that he’ll love you the same way back.”
And there it was—my deep, underlying fear. The one that kept me running from him time after time.
If I gave my heart over to a man who then turned into my worst nightmare…?
Who would be there to pick up the broken pieces?
No one, because there would be nothing left to find.
Chapter Twenty-Two
August
Her scent was everywhere.
The sweet strawberry scent of her hair clung to the sheets, the air…hell, I think she’d permanently graphed it to my fucking nostrils. It was the first thing I noticed when I awoke, and damn if it didn’t make me want to reach out for her and feel her naked skin against mine again.
But she wasn’t here. She wasn’t anywhere.
After realizing her scent was the only thing she’d left in the bed, I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed a pair of boxers, then headed downstairs in search of her.
Her clothes, keys…all gone.
I’d known this would happen. I’d even told her I expected it.
So why did it hurt so damn much?
Because even though I’d expected it, a small part of me—the hopeful, naive part—wanted her to choose me. To decide I was worth the risk.
But she’d chosen him.
She’d always choose him.
At least now I knew what it felt like to have her skin against mine, to taste her lips and feel her breath quicken as I moved inside her. No longer memories of a former forgotten life, these were mine now and I’d carry them to my grave.
Wandering into the kitchen I paused, seeing the bag of coffee grounds still open on the counter. Fingering the bag, I tried picturing how she’d looked the other day, moving around with ease from one corner to the next as if she owned the place.
“Hi.” Her voice nearly had me jumping, and I rotated around to see her standing in the doorway.
“Hi,” I answered, looking curiously at the blanket draped over her shoulders.
“I went for a walk—with Brick,” she explained, holding up a paper coffee cup.
“Shit!” I exclaimed, remembering the morning hike we’d planned. She just shrugged and kicked off her shoes, tossing the cup in the trash as she moved about the kitchen. I watched as she took over the coffee making once again, and a piece of my heart eased.
“It’s okay—it was good to see him. I needed a therapy session.” She gave me a weak smile.
I nodded, leaning against the counter as we waited for the coffee to percolate.
“Did you get what you needed?” I asked, not really sure how to phrase what I really wanted to ask.
“I think so,” she answered vaguely, eyeing me from across the room.
“Okay.”
I didn’t know what else to say, but I was afraid to stop talking. Afraid that if there was a long enough lull, she would leave again. And if she left, would that be the end? Would she ever come back?