It was marvelous.
“That was horrible,” Sarah laughed, covering her mouth with her petite hand. “We really need to work on your understanding of ballet.”
I shook my head as I took a large gulp of merlot. “Nope, I’m fine. And that toast was amazing, thank you very much! It was from the heart!”
We all laughed as we settled into dinner. I’d really gone all out this time, making all of Sarah’s favorites—even though I knew she’d only eat a bite or two from each.
If that.
She might not be a purger anymore, but she was and always would be a ballerina first. Her weight was paramount to her career and she took it very seriously. Fatty foods were the enemy and only consumed on occasion, and I knew she would be spending tomorrow in the gym or on the ballet floor working off the extra calories she’d consumed. The fact that she was even drinking tonight meant that it was a special event. Usually she had was Diet Coke, black coffee, or water. It was a dedicated life, and she was dedicated to it one hundred percent.
“You’re trying to kill me, Ev,” she pouted, looking at the table full of food.
“No, if I was doing that, I would have made a chocolate cheesecake,” I grinned.
“You didn’t!” she warned, jumping from the table to run to the refrigerator, where I’d hidden the tempting dessert.
“You evil bitch!” I heard her mumble behind the refrigerator door. She reappeared, licking her finger, and I saw her eyes roll back slightly in her head.
Ryan chuckled. “I think her understudy may need to do the next show.”
“No,” she answered, coming back to the table to pour more wine. “That psycho has been gunning for my spot ever since the first rehearsal. I will be limping onto the stage before I let her have the satisfaction.”
Ryan and I looked at each other, our eyes wide with surprise.
Wow, dance drama. Who knew?
“Okay, well…that sounds frightening. Anything else going on at work, babe?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“I met a guy,” she grinned, a goofy happy grin I hadn’t seen in ages. Not since she’d dated a short-term coworker of mine who’d turned out to be married. That didn’t end well.
It did explain why he never saw her outside of work, though. I always thought that was strange and slightly awkward. The rest of us at the shop never knew what we’d be walking into when going for supplies in the stockroom. She thought he was just scared of commitment—turns out she wasn’t far off the mark there.
“Who is he? I must know everything!” I said, demanding the details every best friend must have.
“I actually don’t want to say quite yet,” she explained. “It’s really new and different…and I don’t want to jinx it.”
“So you’re just going to announce that you have this new guy in your life that makes you all gushy and weird and then what? Nothing? What’s with that?”
“Come on, Ev, give her some slack—she’ll come around when she’s ready.”
“I will,” she agreed, turning her head to his in agreement. “I just want it to be real before I tell you anything.”
When did they become so chummy?
“Okay, I can live with that,” I said resignedly, taking a bit of risotto from my overfilled plate.
“Besides, I want to talk about you,” she continued. “I’ve been so busy with my performance schedule that I feel like we haven’t had any time to talk about everything that’s been going on with you.”
I looked up at her, not really knowing what to say. The time I spent with August felt private somehow. We were reliving past memories. I was sharing a part of myself with him, a piece of me I’d buried away. It wasn’t something I really wanted to discuss over dinner and wine with my best friend and fiancé.
“I don’t really know what to say,” I answered awkwardly, taking a sip from my glass.
“I know it must have been difficult—spending all that time with him. Why do you keep doing it?” she asked, rather bluntly.
I opened my mouth to answer, but found no words.
I didn’t really know why I kept going, other than the fact that I just did. I felt some string pulling me toward him, linking us together, and until I figured out how to cut it loose, I would continue to go. And I felt strangely protective of that. Why did I need to explain it?
“Honey.” She grabbed my hand from across the table. I looked up at her, meeting her warm gaze. Ryan was silent as he watched the exchange. “You know you don’t have to do this—any of it. Just walk away. Come back to us and forget all of this nonsense.”