Every word was total bullshit. I was still expected at that gala and when I didn't show …
Passing the small restaurant I'd picked out-the one that wouldn't require reservations on a Saturday night, I searched around the block for parking, to no avail.
Sometimes I really hated this city.
Three blocks up, I finally found a tight spot on a steep hill. Climbing out of the car, I ran around to the other side to help Everly out, taking note once again of how beautiful she looked.
Her legs seemed to go on forever as she stepped out onto the street, the deep blue fabric of her dress brushing over her lush thighs as she rose to meet me.
"Looks like we have a bit of a walk," I said, offering my hand.
She looked around, taking in the location. "Where are we? I don't think I've ever been to this part of town."
I shrugged, playing it off as best I could as we stepped to the sidewalk side by side. "A guy at work said he'd taken his wife to this place last week and she still hasn't stopped talking about it. I thought it might be worth a try."
She glanced at me suspiciously as I tried not let the stray graffiti and random bits of trash fluttering in the breeze distract me. I'd once sworn to myself I would always give her the best-nothing less-and here I was taking her to a ratty part of town, to a restaurant I'd never heard of, just so I could get her out of the house for the evening.
All because I needed to explain.
Everything.
And it needed to be done on neutral territory, without threat of interruption or discovery.
Soon, she would understand.
Soon, she would know-everything.
We continued to walk together in silence until she stopped suddenly. I turned to see tears dotting her eyelids as the dim street lights cast a halo on her bright red hair.
"Why are you crying?" I asked hesitantly, stepping forward to offer my hand.
She pulled back, her expression wide with fright as she took in her surroundings. I hadn't been the only one to notice the less-than-stellar neighborhood.
"What's going on, August?" she asked, her tone filled with panic and hostility.
"What do you mean?" I said, trying to remain calm. I held my hands up in a gesture of peace.
"Canceling the art gala … taking me to place like this? It's not you. It doesn't make any sense."
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, knowing she was right. None of it made sense, but it was the best I could do and I was hoping she would just go along for the ride.
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think," I bit back, hating myself the instant I said it.
I just needed her to trust me. But trust had to be earned, and over the last few years I'd slowly chipped away at that hard earned treasure I'd once cherished more than anything. Now, when she looked at me, there was little left but doubt.
Doubt and fear.
A sob tore through her and I watched her turn and run down a darkened alley.
"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath, chasing after her. The click of her heels echoed through the narrow passage, until the sound ceased altogether and I found her with her arms wrapped tightly around herself near the side entrance of a sandwich shop. The flickering light above gave me glimpse of just what damage I'd done to this poor woman.
The woman I'd loved for so long.
Mascara ran down her swollen red cheeks, puffy from the tears she'd shed over the hurtful words I'd said. How many tears had she cried over me?
Buckets, probably.
I wasn't worth it. But I would be.
"Why don't you love me?" she asked, her gaze vacant as she stared blankly at the wall beyond me.
"I love you, Everly. I love you so much," I pleaded, taking her hand. It felt lifeless in mine, like everything had just been sucked out of her and she was just an empty shell standing before me.
Maybe she had been this way for a long time, and I'd been too stupid to notice.
"You don't," she replied, finally turning to look at me. "You haven't for a long time, and I've just been too afraid to see it."
"No, you don't understand-let me explain. But just not here," I said, looking around at the darkened alley. "We have to go. We're not safe here," I pleaded.
"No, I'm not safe with you!" she yelled, struggling out of my grasp. I tried to catch her as she moved erratically in my tight hold, but the slippery fabric of her dress loosened my grip and I lost my balance, sending us both flying. Her fist collided with my skull, and I felt myself falling … reaching.
Green stones fell around me like rain as I tumbled to the ground, and the last thing I saw was her tortured face as I tumbled into oblivion.
I could see it all written on her face.
Horror, pain, fear … but most of all-relief.
Complete and utter relief.
Chapter One
Everly
Secrets.
They had the ability to destroy lives, obliterate relationships, and sabotage even the strongest partnerships. Big or small … it didn't matter. Even the tiniest white lie had the power to corrode-to shatter and dismantle everything you loved.
I'd carried a secret so big, for so long, that sometimes I felt physically weak from its weight. I had thought I could carry its burden to my grave-that eventually its truth would die along with me.
But, secrets never die.
They live on far longer than we do, and they always find their way to the surface.
Mine certainly did.
Sitting alone in the apartment I shared with my fiancé, I gently rolled the smooth green stone between my thumb and forefinger, over and over, remembering the day it was returned to me.
In all our years together, I'd never seen August so cold. So lifeless.
It had frightened me to my core.
But I still hadn't told anyone. It had been three days and I had yet to tell Ryan or Sarah about what had taken place in the bridal shop. As far as they knew, August had rudely interrupted my bridal appointment to tell me he had his memories back-that was all.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Why hadn't I elaborated? I didn't want to admit my shame. I couldn't share this secret, my darkest lie. What would they think of me? I was the reason August had been in that hospital bed for two years. And the worst part? I'd lied about it-to everyone.
Even to those closest to me. Even August.
I was the worst kind of human.
I knew Ryan would tell me the opposite. He would comfort me as I told him the truth, holding me as I shared my story about the awful truth from that night.
There was no mugger.
There was only me.
"911 Dispatch. What is your emergency?" The words rang clear through the speaker of my cell phone as I held it with both hands, looking down through blurry, tear-soaked eyes at August's lifeless body sprawled out on the ground.
Oh God, what had I done?
"Is anyone there?" The woman asked again.
"Yes," I managed to say. "Please send help. My boyfriend has been injured." My voice cracked as the words fell from my lips, becoming reality.
"What happened? Was there an accident? Were you attacked?"
Glancing around the dark alley, I felt my head nodding in agreement before I even said the words. "Yes, we were attacked. Please, come quickly."
It had all been so easy. No one ever doubted me. And I never gave them reason to. I was a broken, sobbing mess as they took August away in the ambulance, and then stood by him for days until they broke the news that he might never wake from his coma.
The coma I'd put him in. I'd sat with him in that lonely white room, watching him become so frail as the days seemed to pass without end. His doctor mistook my guilt for grief and suggested I try to move on with my life. I was young. August would want me to carry on without him.
I remembered the doctor rubbing my back as he delivered the ultimate truth.
"It would take a miracle for him to wake up at this point," he'd said with utmost care. I'd nodded, thanking him for his candor. I'd looked down at August, wondering whether I wanted a miracle.
Would he be the same? Or different?
I'd decided in that moment, I couldn't wait around to find out-it hurt too much. So I'd taken the doctor's advice and moved on, finding my own apartment and job. And eventually-Ryan.
Gentle Ryan.
He would tell me that horrible night was just an accident and I'd panicked-an intense moment of weakness. He'd soothe my tears and insist none of it was my fault. Everything would be forgotten and swept under the rug and we would move on. Life would go on as usual.
But I didn't want it to. I didn't deserve his kindness or empathy. I needed someone to scream and yell at me for the all the suffering I'd caused. I needed to pay for the life I'd stolen.
Because when it came down to it, I'd taken a life.
And I'd walked away, allowing everyone to believe I was the victim of this story when in actuality, I was the criminal. The perpetrator.
The real monster.
"Hey, I was wondering where you were," Ryan's warm familiar voice filtered through the room as I closed my hand over the stone and slowly sunk it beneath the blankets, meeting his friendly gaze.