Forgetting August (Lost & Found #1)(36)

"Ryan left me!" I cried out, fresh tears dripping down my cheeks.

His eyes rounded in sympathy. Sympathy I didn't want or need.

"No!" I yelled. "Don't you dare say anything. You've done enough!"

Stepping out of my reach, his eyes turned hard as he wrapped his arms around his torso. "What have I done exactly?"

I yelled out in frustration, my hands going through my hair as I turned  away from him. "He doesn't think I love him. He says I need time."

"To do what?" he pressed.

"To be with you!"

"And you obviously don't agree?" he asked slowly as I turned and met his gaze.

"Look, I get that me coming here, announcing my split from Ryan is like a  wet dream come true for you, but let me explain something-it's  temporary. We will get back together."

His expression turned heated. "You think I like seeing you show up like  this? All wrecked and destroyed over another fucking guy? Do you think  this pleases me somehow? Jesus, Everly-if I ever pictured you coming  through that door again, it certainly wasn't like this."

"I hate this," I sobbed, "I hate this whole thing. Why did you have to  wake up, August? Why now? Why couldn't you have waited? Just a little  bit longer? We could have been married-happy. Settled."

He shook his head, shock written all over his face. "Do you think  anything would have really been different? Do you think the timing of  this would have changed anything, Everly? That somehow marriage vows  would have made the big difference in all of this?"         

     



 

"Yes!"

"No-" he cut me off. "It wouldn't. The only difference would be a marriage falling apart instead of an engagement."

"We're getting back together!" I screamed.

"Please," he hissed. "If that were true, why was the first thing you did after he left to come here?"

I opened my mouth to answer but the words fell flat as he stepped  closer, pushing into my personal space. His scent surrounded me as his  dark hazel eyes looked down with purpose.

"Exactly," he said softly. "You and I are the same. Both too scared to  admit the cold, hard truth-moving on isn't an option for us because  we're still stuck right damn here."

Pulling me closer, his mouth closed over mine. His kiss was brutal and  hard. My gasp of surprise only pushed him further, digging his hands  into my waist as he lifted me from the floor. The more I fought, the  more punishing he became. We fought as my legs wrapped around his waist  and my jagged teeth sank into his lip.

Hearing him cry out in pain only fueled the fire that was raging  uncontrollably in my belly, begging me to go further-to hurt him for  everything I'd lost. He grabbed my hair roughly as I pushed us back onto  the couch. We ripped clothes from our bodies in mindless frenzy. I had  no idea what I was doing, only that he was the reason I was doing it.  Time rushed by in a blur, as passion and pain dominated my mind.

He was the reason for everything.

Nothing was gentle. There were no lingering kisses, no words of praise  as he pulled a condom from his wallet and quickly slipped it on. No  thoughts of whether this was wrong or right passed through my head as we  pushed and pulled at each other. His dark eyes met mine seconds before  he lifted my naked body and slammed it down on his, culminating our  wicked dance into something deeper.

I cried out at the intrusion but he gave me no time to adjust as he  moved me up and down over and over on his swollen cock. Every plot of  vengeance … every fantasy of getting even was pushed aside as he worked my  body over his. I let him own me in those minutes, giving it all up for  those few shorts moments of bliss.

My head fell back as he picked me up and flipped me over the back of the couch, spreading my legs wide.

"Shit!" I yelled as he entered me from behind, his relentless pace never  slowing as he moved hard and slow into me. I pushed back, feeling the  hard line of his pelvic bone hit my ass as he grabbed my hips and pumped  in and out.

"Remember this," he said, leaning over, against my ear. "Remember what  this feels like when you go crawling back to your fiancé tomorrow,  Everly. Remember what I feel like inside you. Don't ever forget how we  feel together."

His words had me breaking apart, coming like a tidal wave at each hard  thrust. As I tightened around him, his speed picked up, moving faster  until I felt him surrender to his own inevitable release and collapse  next to me on the couch.

Neither of us said anything as he stood and walked away, heading for the stairs.

There was really nothing left to say.

I could have left. I should have left. That is what a smart person would have done.

But instead, I traced his steps up the familiar staircase.

"Not the master," I said as his hand went to the door handle of the  bedroom we'd once shared. Without a single word, he walked until he  reached the guest bedroom and waited.

Without a single word, I followed.





The crashing waves did nothing to calm my weary nerves. I watched the  early morning sun climb higher up the horizon under the large bank of  fog that hung heavy over the city. After sneaking out of bed, I'd found  my clothes scattered around the sofa with August's things.

I barely remembered removing them.

Everything had happened so fast.

And yet, when it was over, and the moment had passed … I hadn't left. I  hadn't fallen to my knees begging with remorse and chastising myself  over the inexcusable decisions I'd made.

No, instead … I made them over and over again. All night long.

Was this what Ryan had expected me to do? When he'd walked out the door  last night, leaving me to choose-did he know I'd end up here? Did  everyone seem to know me better than I did myself?

Pushing away from the balcony edge, I pulled the blanket I'd grabbed  from the living room tighter around my shoulders and headed back inside  to make a cup of coffee. I felt no big rush to leave as long as August  was still asleep. Today was my day off and it wasn't as if I had  anywhere else to go.

I had no home anymore anyway.

I had no home.

That thought lodged in my brain and I halted mid-step in the kitchen, nearly spilling the bag of coffee grounds I was carrying.         

     



 

Oh dear god, I had nowhere to go. Did I?

Ryan had been the one to walk out, but it had always been his apartment.  I'd moved in with him-not the other way around. When we'd made the step  to move in together, I had been living in a tiny apartment I'd found  after I moved away from the cliffs and we'd thought it best to keep his.  It was in a better area and larger.

I couldn't expect him to leave-especially now.

After what I'd done.

Setting the coffee down on the counter, I felt my heart rate double at  the thought of being homeless. Visions of ratty sheets and secondhand  clothes filled my mind as my childhood raced back.

I couldn't go back. I couldn't.

Running toward the door, I grabbed my purse, ready to race back to the apartment.

I had to plan-pack … something. Oh, god. What a mess I'd made.

As soon as I opened the door, though, I nearly flew into a very  surprised Brick, who had his hand up in the air preparing to knock. He  righted me with one hand as I stumbled in my haste, bringing me upright  to his curious gaze.

"I didn't expect to find you here," he said, balancing a drink carrier with his free hand.

"Really? This wasn't your secret plan all along?" I sneered, hating  myself for taking my anger out on Brick-but really hadn't he  orchestrated this all? Hadn't he been the reason we were even seeing  each other again in the first place?

If he hadn't shown up at my apartment all those weeks ago, would I still be engaged?

Would I still be sitting in my warm, inviting little apartment planning out the rest of my years with Ryan?

Or would I have eventually ended up in this same position?

Somehow, I already knew the answer.

"You want to go for a walk?" he asked, holding up his drink carrier. "I  was supposed to meet August here for a morning hike down to the beach,  but I'm guessing he forgot. Plus, I think you could use this coffee a  bit more right now."

I eyed the paper cups in his hand and bit the corner of my lip reluctantly. "Okay, but only because you have coffee."

"I always know how to charm the ladies," he chuckled, handing me a  piping hot cup of joe. He dropped the cardboard carrier on the table by  the front door and we headed out into the brisk morning air. The fog  that had settled overnight was slowly starting to clear. Bit by bit, the  city was beginning to reveal herself to the world once again, like a  mask slowly being stripped away.

The crunch of gravel was the only sound between us for a while as we  slowly walked down the street and sipped from our cups. Between each  house, I'd sneak a glance at the gray ocean as the fog slowly began to  recede over the water.

"You haven't asked what happened-between August and me," I said.

"Considering it's barely seven in the morning, I don't really need to ask, do I?"