“No luck?” he asked, leaning against the door frame, his arms crossing his broad chest as he took me in.
“No. I don’t know why I bothered. I can never sleep during the day. But I haven’t been sleeping well since—” I stopped myself, regretting the words instantly.
“Since the bridal shop. I know. I feel you tossing and turning in the night,” he said as his eyes lingered on me.
Nodding, I felt the silence settle between us. I wasn’t sure what to say next.
He pushed off from the door frame and stalked toward me, taking the empty spot on the bed beside me. I felt the mattress dip as his large body crawled on top. It felt comforting, having his weight next to mine.
Safe and real.
He took his time gathering his thoughts, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he chose each word carefully.
“Do you regret your decision? Choosing me? Now that he has his memories…does it change your answer?”
And there it was.
The seed of doubt that had sprouted and blossomed buds and blooms since I was away with August. He’d walked away—sent me into the arms of another man, and even though I’d come back willingly, he didn’t always feel confident in my choice. Would I ever be able to uproot its existence or had the damage already been done?
Were we doomed from the start?
“No—God no,” I answered, backpedaling. “That is not what I’m thinking at all,” I explained, sitting up further in bed to face him fully. “It startled me, yes. I’m still processing it—still trying to figure out what it means to us. But it doesn’t change anything. I chose you. I chose this life. That hasn’t changed, and it never will.”
I’m really quite surprised at how quickly Ryan welcomed you back with such open arms, considering how quickly you ran from them when given the chance to fall into mine.
My voice quivered as I spoke, betrayed my raw emotions. Ryan saw this and mistook my still overwhelming feelings for passion. His lips met mine, a tender whisper of a kiss with a dangling question mark at the end, begging for more. Knowing he needed the reassurance only I could give, I answered with a kiss of my own, returning his tenderness with passion and fire as we fell back onto the mattress and forgot all about memories and choices, and only thought about one thing.
Each other.
* * *
“Two months?” Sarah squeaked loudly in response to my surprising answer. “Two months?” she repeated as I just nodded, keeping my eyes straight ahead as I followed the signs to the first place on the list.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” she asked, and then before I had a chance to answer, lowered her voice and said, “Oh my god, you’re not pregnant with…August’s child, are you?”
“What kind of person do you take me for?” I questioned as I switched lanes, taking the exit the brochure had instructed. “I know my life seems like a soap opera lately, but damn…it hasn’t gotten that bad!” I laughed, feeling a little wounded that my best friend really had to ask that question. I mean, I knew my life had been a little turbulent, but I still knew how to prevent pregnancy.
“You haven’t answered the question,” she pointed out, crossing her arms over her chest.
“For fuck’s sake! I’m not pregnant! With anyone’s child! I just want to get married!” I hollered over the radio, nearly laughing.
“In two months? Why so soon?” she asked, still pestering, as she began looking around at the well-established neighborhood. We came to a red light. Mature old trees and meticulous landscaping stretched out as far as the eye could see. It was the kind of place where you could picture yourself raising a family—someday.
“Why not so soon?” I said, shaking the picket fence dream from my mind. I had a wedding to plan. “I’ve made my decision—and yes, I made of mess of it all, but now it’s made and I want to start living my life so I don’t see any reason to wait.”
Her eyes met mine a moment before I hit the gas to pass through the green light, and I saw her smirk and give a quick nod.
“Okay then. Let’s get this thing planned. Good thing I had you shopping off the sales rack last week at the bridal shop,” she giggled.
“You knew this would happen?”
“I figured you would either drag your heels or race to the altar. I was really hoping for some sprinting—it’s a hell of a lot more fun.”
I let out a gentle laugh as we pulled into the small parking lot of the first venue option, killing the engine and turning to her with a smile. Looking up at the beautiful white church, I smiled.