Forgetting August(106)

If only she knew.

“I thought we were going to the art gala,” she said in disappointment.

“We were. But I know how much you hate those types of events, so I canceled and decided an evening alone would be much nicer.”

Every word was total bullshit. I was still expected at that gala and when I didn’t show…

Passing the small restaurant I’d picked out—the one that wouldn’t require reservations on a Saturday night, I searched around the block for parking, to no avail.

Sometimes I really hated this city.

Three blocks up, I finally found a tight spot on a steep hill. Climbing out of the car, I ran around to the other side to help Everly out, taking note once again of how beautiful she looked.

Her legs seemed to go on forever as she stepped out onto the street, the deep blue fabric of her dress brushing over her lush thighs as she rose to meet me.

“Looks like we have a bit of a walk,” I said, offering my hand.

She looked around, taking in the location. “Where are we? I don’t think I’ve ever been to this part of town.”

I shrugged, playing it off as best I could as we stepped to the sidewalk side by side. “A guy at work said he’d taken his wife to this place last week and she still hasn’t stopped talking about it. I thought it might be worth a try.”

She glanced at me suspiciously as I tried not let the stray graffiti and random bits of trash fluttering in the breeze distract me. I’d once sworn to myself I would always give her the best—nothing less—and here I was taking her to a ratty part of town, to a restaurant I’d never heard of, just so I could get her out of the house for the evening.

All because I needed to explain.

Everything.

And it needed to be done on neutral territory, without threat of interruption or discovery.

Soon, she would understand.

Soon, she would know—everything.

We continued to walk together in silence until she stopped suddenly. I turned to see tears dotting her eyelids as the dim street lights cast a halo on her bright red hair.

“Why are you crying?” I asked hesitantly, stepping forward to offer my hand.

She pulled back, her expression wide with fright as she took in her surroundings. I hadn’t been the only one to notice the less-than-stellar neighborhood.

“What’s going on, August?” she asked, her tone filled with panic and hostility.

“What do you mean?” I said, trying to remain calm. I held my hands up in a gesture of peace.

“Canceling the art gala…taking me to place like this? It’s not you. It doesn’t make any sense.”

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, knowing she was right. None of it made sense, but it was the best I could do and I was hoping she would just go along for the ride.

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think,” I bit back, hating myself the instant I said it.

I just needed her to trust me. But trust had to be earned, and over the last few years I’d slowly chipped away at that hard earned treasure I’d once cherished more than anything. Now, when she looked at me, there was little left but doubt.

Doubt and fear.

A sob tore through her and I watched her turn and run down a darkened alley.

“Fuck!” I cursed under my breath, chasing after her. The click of her heels echoed through the narrow passage, until the sound ceased altogether and I found her with her arms wrapped tightly around herself near the side entrance of a sandwich shop. The flickering light above gave me glimpse of just what damage I’d done to this poor woman.

The woman I’d loved for so long.

Mascara ran down her swollen red cheeks, puffy from the tears she’d shed over the hurtful words I’d said. How many tears had she cried over me?

Buckets, probably.

I wasn’t worth it. But I would be.

“Why don’t you love me?” she asked, her gaze vacant as she stared blankly at the wall beyond me.

“I love you, Everly. I love you so much,” I pleaded, taking her hand. It felt lifeless in mine, like everything had just been sucked out of her and she was just an empty shell standing before me.

Maybe she had been this way for a long time, and I’d been too stupid to notice.

“You don’t,” she replied, finally turning to look at me. “You haven’t for a long time, and I’ve just been too afraid to see it.”

“No, you don’t understand—let me explain. But just not here,” I said, looking around at the darkened alley. “We have to go. We’re not safe here,” I pleaded.

“No, I’m not safe with you!” she yelled, struggling out of my grasp. I tried to catch her as she moved erratically in my tight hold, but the slippery fabric of her dress loosened my grip and I lost my balance, sending us both flying. Her fist collided with my skull, and I felt myself falling…reaching.