Home>>read Forgetting August free online

Forgetting August(100)

By:J. L. Berg


I simply nodded, accepting the fate I knew was sure to come. The fate I’d accepted the moment I realized I couldn’t protect her and claim her all in one breath.

What’s your girlfriend’s name again? Trent’s cold words wormed their way back through my mind, making me suddenly very aware of just how similar I might be with my past self. Was this how the old August had felt? When he’d locked her away all those times? Was what he’d done really a desperate attempt to save her, rather than a sick plot to keep her in chains?

“Why are you doing this?” she asked. “Why would you trade everything we have just like that? Just like…before?”

I shook my head, hating myself. Hating that she truly believed I was choosing a life of power and wealth over her. “Sometimes it’s not about one or the other, Everly. Sometimes it’s just what’s meant to be.”

“There’s always a choice,” she said softly.

I watched her gaze around the room in silence, almost as if she was reliving pieces of the past. Each brush of her hand against the furniture felt like a good-bye. Every touch of her fingertips along the bed linens was a farewell. She was leaving and I wasn’t going to stop her.

No more shy smiles and coffee-flavored kisses. The memory of her skin would be nothing more than a ghost I wrestled with in my sleep. She would be gone. Forever.

How would I go on? How would I survive?

“Why do you think he did it? Locked me in here? Was it out of cruelty or some twisted fascination—”

“I think maybe he did it out of love,” I said, softly interrupting her, as I stepped forward and took her hand. I watched as she flinched but didn’t step out of my grasp. “I don’t think he ever stopped—how could anyone ever stop loving you?”

“Loving me destroyed you,” she sobbed, a salty trail running down her cheek.

“Loving you brought me back to life,” I corrected.

“But not for long enough.” Her eyes met mine as she tried to pull back.

“Love me one more time,” I begged, “Please.” I took a hesitant step forward as my thumb slowly skimmed her damp cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed and her breath faltered. It was exactly what I needed to know—she wanted this as much as I did.

I might be letting her go, but first I would drown in this love…this promise of so much more, for one more night.

Before reality set in and I lost her forever.

Pushing back fiery strands of her hair, I cupped her chin and kissed away her tears, which only made her lips quiver and fresh tears appear.

“I want to hate you. I want to push you away and scream and yell. I shouldn’t want this—I shouldn’t. But I do—God, I do. If this is my last few hours with you—this is how I want to spend them with you. What is wrong with me? We aren’t right, August. This isn’t right,” she cried, her face burrowing into my chest. “I’m so angry,” she sobbed.

“I know. I’m so sorry,” I said over and over, meaning it more than she could ever know.

“Take it away—take the pain away,” she begged, her gaze lifting to mine in a desperate plea for escape.

As my fingers dug their way through her hair, our foreheads touched and I found myself taking a deep breath as I silently asked whoever might be listening for strength. Strength to make it through the night with her body wrapped around mine, knowing it would be the last time. And courage to let her walk away the next morning, knowing she was walking away with my heart in her hands.

This wasn’t how this was supposed to end.

My lips met hers as I took my time kissing her, trying to memorize every single moment. Every moan, the color of her lips, the way she arched her neck when I pressed my body against hers—it soon would be all I had.

My life had been a never-ending quest into the past, and now it seemed, I would have only that.

Nothing but a handful of memories.

As my hands slid around her waist, I lifted her, feeling her strong legs wrap around me. Carrying her to the bed, I paused, remembering the photos scattered about. Knowing they’d only cause us pain later, I carefully sat Everly on the edge of the bed and began the task of making room. The photos I’d carefully exposed and printed fell to the floor in a heap, along with their custom-made frames.

They didn’t matter anymore.

None of it mattered.

All I had was this one night.

I ignored the fluttering sound as the photos fell and the frames clattered to the ground. My focus was solely on Everly. It had always been Everly.

Kneeling before her, my hands trembled as I drew her blouse above her head, letting it fall to the floor with the forgotten pictures. Her baby blue eyes met mine as she slowly undid the buttons of my shirt, one at a time, letting the tips of her fingers brush against my bare skin.