"Really?" Daisy asks.
"Not as often as you probably condition your hair to keep it this soft," Randy fingers the end of Daisy's no-longer-solid hair, and she looks like she might combust. Balls has that effect on women.
Randy shoves his hands in his pockets while the moms stroke all over his beard. His smirk matches Lily's. "But I shampoo it like I do my hair."
I can see my mom's wheels turning, and I know for a fact that the next question out of her mouth is going to be embarrassing. I clap my hands to distract them. "Okay, well, I think that's enough beard fondling for today! The boys are in the living room, probably watching sports and drinking expensive scotch, so you guys can all go do that, too."
The moms stop with the beard love, and the guys disperse.
"Didn't Sunny and Miller come with you?" Daisy asks.
"They're here. Sunny's not feeling well this morning," Lily says.
"Oh?"
"She's in the bathroom. I think she's hurling," I offer.
Daisy and my mom exchange a glance, which they then share with Lily.
"I'll be right back." Daisy tosses her dishtowel on the island and takes off in the direction of the main floor powder room.
"Is there something going on?" I ask.
"You know how us moms worry," mine says.
I distinctly remember my mom's reaction to hangovers when I used to live in the pool house. She'd bring me a bottle of Gatorade, and that was about it.
Five minutes later, as we're putting brunch on the table, Sunny appears with Daisy. I swear they could pass for sisters now. Buck trails behind them. He looks stressed.
I want to corner him and find out what's going on, but everyone is gathering in the dining room to eat, so I don't have an opportunity.
My mom ends up sitting across the table from Randy. She puts her hand on Sidney's arm. "Sid, do you think you could grow a beard like that?"
"Like what?"
She gestures to his beard. "Like Randall's."
"Probably. Why?"
"I think you should."
"Beards are the best." Lily leans her head against his shoulder while she peers up at him with half-lidded eyes.
I point a finger at Lily. "No disappearing into the laundry room."
Randy grins as Lily's eyes go wide. "I have a laundry room in my own house, so I don't need yours anymore."
"Oh my God." Lily elbows him in the side and ducks her head, her hair barely covering her flushed cheeks.
"Was your washing machine broken?" my mom asks.
"In a manner of speaking."
"Let's eat!" I yell, much louder than I intended, because it's either that or I further degrade our level of conversation and embarrass Lily even more by explaining how she came on my washing machine during a dry-humping session with Balls. After we wiped it down with antiseptic, Alex and I tried it out-except we were naked and the machine was on.
Moments later, everyone's chatting and eating, except for Sunny, who's pushing food around on her plate. Buck keeps whispering in her ear and rubbing her shoulder. Lily does the same thing every once in a while from the other side. There's definitely something going on.
Daisy and my mom are seated beside each other, and I hear the word wedding get dropped. Alex tenses. I can feel his eyes on me. He hasn't said anything about setting a date for a long time. He's been so understanding about this. Maybe too understanding.
"Oh! That's a great idea. Violet, your mother is full of wonderful ideas." Daisy's hands flutter in the air.
"What's that?" I put my hand on Alex's thigh and give it a light squeeze.
"You and Alex could get married in an arena!"
"Mom, I thought we talked-" Alex begins.
Daisy cuts him off. "Isn't that fantastic? It's where you first met!" She flips her non-rock-solid hair over her shoulder.
I wanted to be the one to bring this up today, not the moms, and I want to decide, with Alex, where and when it's going to be.
"Aren't we looking at a wedding in the off-season?" I point out. "Why would we get married in a freezing arena? Isn't the point of a summer wedding that it's warm? Isn't that the same thing as taking an Alaskan cruise in the middle of the winter?"
"We could have the reception outside," my mom says.
"I don't think now-" Alex tries to cut in again, but I'm already on a tangent.
"I think we're all forgetting that I'm about as coordinated as a weeble-wobble. I'd probably fall on my face and knock my own damn teeth out if I had to be on skates. Or worse, I'd murder someone. And then I'll be in jail." I look to Balls. "Remember when we had that talk? About me going to prison for skate murder?"
Randy nods slowly. His eyes keep jumping from me to Alex, like he's unsure whether he's allowed to respond.
"I can totally give you lessons," Lily offers. "You made so much progress when we practiced before."
"What if you're my murder victim? What will Balls do with his balls then?" I shudder in my seat, holding back a thrust.
Randy chokes on his drink.
Buck clears his throat. "Uh, Vi-"
"Besides, Alex and I first met in the hotel bar when I accidentally flashed everyone my bra."
Alex coughs. As embarrassing as it is, it's true.
"That's a technicality," my mom says. "Don't you remember when Alex smashed into the plexiglas in front of us at the game? You were all involved in reading something, not paying a bit of attention to what was happening on the ice, and then there he was! It was love at first sight."
"I'm pretty sure it was lust at first sight. And I spilled my beer all over myself." I'm still nursing my original mimosa, so I can't blame my mouth on anything but sudden nerves.
"I think it's perfectly romantic," my mom says.
Alex cuts in again, as if he's trying to save me from this conversation. "Now probably isn't the best time for this, Mom."
I can't keep putting him in this position where he feels the need to protect me from what should be an exciting time. I recognize that we belong together. Looking back, I can see clearly what I didn't before.
I remember every detail of the night Alex and I met. From Alex throwing a snit in the penalty box, to him smashing into the plexiglas and scaring the living crap out of me. I remember how pretty his eyes were and how I got caught there. I remember the immediate drooling in my panties and how it amplified when he got into the fight. I remember him sitting next to me in the bar, his rock-hard arm brushing mine. I tried so hard not to look directly at him, because his chiseled jaw and his sexy, beat-up face were hotter than I wanted them to be. His face is in a similar state right now.
I also remember my mortification over flashing the entire team my ridiculous bra, and eye-toking my cigarette when I ran away from him and indulged in my fake habit. And later I remember my shock and awe over the unveiling of the Super MC, my accidental cock-love chanting, and how sweet Alex was-and how even though I ran away from him again, he kept pursuing me. Because he knew then what it took me months to figure out: We belong together.
And now here we are, engaged since August while he's been patiently waiting for me to be ready to set a date. I'm such an idiot-and incredibly fortunate that Alex is secure enough not to take it personally. I hope, anyway. I think I may owe him an unconscionable number of sexual favors.
Before I can say what I need to, which is that I'm ready to put a ring on it, Sunny pushes away from the table, her chair making an awful grating sound on the hardwood, pulling the attention away from me and Alex.
Sunny's disturbingly pale as she stands up and says two words I totally don't expect to hear:
"I'm pregnant!"
14
Well, That
was Unexpected
VIOLET
The entire table goes silent. Buck stands beside Sunny, his face ashen. Which tells me Sunny isn't blurting lies as an attempt at a kind distraction. Also, she's an abysmal liar.
"Uh, sweets … " Buck puts his hand on her lower back.
"Oh." She clamps a palm over her mouth, eyes tearful as she surveys the table. I'm sure my shock is mirrored around the room. Alex's thigh tenses under my hand. I'd squeeze more, but he has a lot of bruises.
Sunny turns to Buck. "Sorry. It slipped out."
Alex pushes back his chair like he's about to get up and throw down with Buck. "You're shitting me, right?"
"Alex, language," Daisy says.
He looks incredulous. "Seriously? Sunny tells us she's pregnant, and you're worried about my language?"
"We didn't mean for it to happen." Sunny does the hair-twirl thing.