"I'll come with you!" Charlene follows me down the hall to the front door.
"Thanks for encouraging that. My therapy bills are going to be through the roof after today." I elbow her in the side.
"Those two are crazy."
"Do you think we'll be like that when we're their age?"
"I sure as hell hope so."
I open the front door to find Buck and Sunny, Balls and Lily, and Lance standing on the doorstep. Lance's massive lime green Hummer is parked in the driveway behind them. It's like a tank, but way more conspicuous. Kind of like Lance.
"Come on in, guys. Lily, Sunny, you're just in time to be emotionally scarred by hearing my mom and Daisy talk about jizz."
"So the usual?" Lily comes in for a hug.
"Do you girls talk about anything other than sex?" Randy helps Lily out of her coat and adjusts the strap of her dress, bending to kiss her shoulder. Those two radiate hormones.
"Not really," Charlene replies.
"I'm more than willing to hang out and talk about sex with you girls," Lance says.
"Over my dead fucking body, Romance," Randy says.
"So territorial." Lily rolls her eyes, but she's grinning.
Lance winks and squeezes my shoulder. "How's the captain doing?"
"He's getting better. It's slow going, but he looks a lot less like he's a victim of a mugging."
"Good to hear. He's missed on the ice."
"You should tell him that. I think his ego is almost as broken as his body."
I like Lance a lot more since he kicked the shit out of Cockburn. Not because of the reciprocated violence, but because of the retribution. He also dropped by the hospital more than once. I still think he's the biggest manwhore in the entire league, but he's a good guy, even with the serious commitment and anger-management issues. He's a softie under that mountain of muscle and rage. He's messaged me every day and called to check on me and Alex. It's sweet.
Buck and Sunny are standing off to the side, whispering. Buck's cradling her cheek in his palm, forehead creased, and Sunny seems pale.
"Everything okay with those two?" I ask Lily, since they don't seem to be paying attention to anyone outside their bubble.
"We were playing charades until late." Lily says. "And drinking too much wine."
"Charades, huh?"
"The boys refused to play strip poker." Lily shrugs.
"Only I see you naked," Randy growls.
I'm missing all the action. With Alex being injured and Daisy here, company hasn't been an option, and I haven't felt right about going out to have fun while Alex suffers alone.
Buck and Sunny finally break apart. It's normal for him to fawn over her, but this seems excessive. "Sweets, I think you should sit down," he tells her.
"Honestly, I'm fine, Miller." She pats his hand and smiles, but she looks tired, and her eyes are red and puffy when she turns to me. "How's everything? Is my mom driving you nuts? What about Alex?"
"I haven't had to make a meal since she got here, and Alex is doing well, considering."
"She really does love to cook."
"I think we have meals covered for the next month."
"You need help with that, let me know; I'm always available for dinners on off-game days." Lance pats his insane shirt-covered six-pack.
"So are we." Randy slips his arm around Lily's waist and pulls her against him. Probably so he can rub his dick on her.
"I can cook just fine." Lily looks legitimately offended.
"You sure can, luscious, but I'm just offering our exceptional company in case Vi and Alex need it. Plus, I like their bathrooms."
I point a finger at Lily, because she's as bad as Randy with the sneaking off to have sex. "You two aren't allowed to disappear upstairs. Daisy's sleeping in the room you two like to get your fuck on in."
"There are plenty of rooms in this house, and beds are totally overrated." Randy rubs his beard on Lily's neck and she shivers.
It's like beard porn. I don't know how she stands it. I can't manage Alex with a scruffy face in the winter. My skin gets all red, and then it chafes and peels. Not sexy.
"You should ignore those two," Sunny motions to Lily and Randy. "It's like mating season."
"Really? You're going to talk to me about mating?" Lily shoots back.
Sunny's eyes flash, and Lily makes a face like she crapped her pants.
"Where's Alex?" Buck asks.
"They're all in the living room. They left when our moms started with the flavored-jizz talk."
Sunny either pretends I didn't say that or misses it completely. "Alex has been okay, though? He can be difficult when he's not feeling well."
"Oh, God! Remember when Alex got the flu, and he hurled in the middle of the hallway after eating a Big Mac combo? That was the worst idea ever." Lily makes a gagging sound.
Sunny puts her hand to her mouth. I think she might legitimately be gagging. "I need the bathroom." She hurries down the hall and slams the door.
"Guess we won't be using that bathroom later," Randy says to Lily.
"Is she okay?" I ask.
"Just feeling under the weather, that's all. She'll be fine," Lily reassures me.
Buck rubs the back of his neck. "You guys go ahead. I'll make sure Sunny's okay."
"I can stay with her if you want," Lily offers.
"It's cool. I got this."
Lily pats him on the shoulder, and we leave Buck in the hallway, tapping on the bathroom door.
"Must've been one hell of a night." I'm not sure if I'm disappointed I've been missing out on the fun, or worried about Sunny getting so drunk she's sick the next day.
When we get to the kitchen, my mom and Daisy are holding bananas and close-talking. I don't even want to know what's going on there.
My mom drops the banana on the counter and wipes her hands on her ass. "Randall! It's so good to see you! I can't remember the last time I chatted with you. How've you been? How's your family?"
My mom's excitement over Randy's arrival is unexpected. Her voice takes on that high-pitched, girly tone that makes everyone around her cringe, except Daisy.
"I remember when you and Buck used to have pimples, and you smelled more like goats than boys. You've really grown up, haven't you? Hasn't he?" She turns to me like she's looking for some kind of confirmation.
"How would I know? I only met Balls this year, when he and Miller were getting in trouble for all the stupid bunny business."
My mom ignores the bunny comment. "Oh, of course. You were too busy tutoring and being part of the Mathgeeks to be bothered with coming to games when Randall and Buck played rep."
"Mathletes, Mom, not Mathgeeks." It's already obvious I'm a math nerd. I don't need my mom outing my geek status from high school.
"You were a Mathlete?" Lance asks.
"I needed an extracurricular for college applications, and sports were out," I mumble.
Lance looks me over, but not in a typical pervy Lance way-more like he's assessing my level of physical fitness. "You look athletic to me."
"Dude." Randy punches him in the shoulder.
"What? It's an observation." Lance rolls his eyes. "Anyway, I was a Mathlete in high school, too."
"Really?" I don't know why I'm surprised. At this point I'm well aware that a lot of these guys are not just incredibly physically competent, but have brains to match.
"We won the all-state championship my senior year. I still have the trophy."
"I still have mine, too! I think it's packed away in a box in my office somewhere."
While Lance and I revel in our nerdiness, my mom rounds the island and approaches Randy. He and Buck have been friends for a long time, and obviously while I was out being a supernerd in high school, my mom was busy being a good stepmom to Buck.
She hugs Randy, which is a normal thing to do, but I should know better than to expect her to be appropriate, particularly since she and Daisy have already plowed through a bottle of champagne. My mom puts her hands on either side of Randy's face and pats his beard. Then she runs her fingers through it. "This is really impressive."
"Mom, what're you doing?" I'll be honest, I've actually considered doing that on more than one occasion. It really is an amazing beard.
Lily snickers. "It's soft, isn't it?"
"So soft!" My mom nods in agreement. "Daisy, you need to feel this. I never realized a beard could be so soft."
"He conditions it a lot." Lily's smirky face probably has a lot to do with the number of times those two have ended up in a bathroom with Randy on his knees.