Forever My Love(50)
"… and I couldn't find… I couldn't talk, or tell anyone—"
"No matter how real it seemed, it didn't happen. You know that nightmares aren't real—"
"Yes, they are sometimes, they are," she said tearfully, clutching him desperately. Alec picked her upeffortlessly, carrying her over to the bed. Mira clung to him, her fingers slipping on the silk that covered his wide shoulders. His body was so large and reassuringly solid, making her feel that nothing could hurt her when he was near, nothing at all. She did not let go of him, even while he slid two pillows behind her back, rearranged her twisted cotton nightgown, and brushed the escaping strands of dark hair away from her damp forehead. His manner was comforting, almost brotherly. She held on to the lapels of his robe as he braced an arm on one side of her, bending his head to listen to her tremulous whisper. "Thank you. I'm… I was afraid to be alone." "No trouble at all," he said, smiling down at her casually. "I've had a great deal of experience at taking women to bed."
Instead of laughing or becoming annoyed with his provoking comment, she looked at him solemnly, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. "Thank you for checking on me."
"I'd better leave soon." Alec indicated the door with a nod of his head. Now that she was settled in bed and her initial fright had passed, she realized that he was restless, agitated. "I have a feeling there'll be; hell to pay if I'm found up here with you," he said.
She was reluctant to let him go. "No one ever comes up here except Sackville, and he never visits at this time of night."
"Close your eyes and go to sleep," Alec murmured, a wry smile curving his mouth. "I must leave now anyway. You see, in some areas I'm a remarkably controlled man. In others I have a marked lack of self-discipline, and I'm beginning to suffer from it." He looked down at her with what was, for him, an uncommon gentleness. Then, as if he could not resist it, he lowered his head and brushed a light platonic kiss across her lips. Blindly Mira wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, her mouthopening under his. Alec stiffened and then a muffled groan resonated in his throat. He kissed her with scorching heat, his tongue exploring the soft inside of her mouth with a sensual expertise that made her toes curl. And then Mira realized in shock that he had drawn her tongue into his mouth with gentle suction. She shivered as the love play continued, an understanding dawning in the nether recesses of her mind that they were mimicking the act of love with their mouths. A soft, burning glow began deep within her and spread everywhere.
Slowly Alec ended the kiss and took a ragged breath. He tried to pull away from her but her arms were still locked around his neck.
"Don't leave," she said unsteadily. "I'm still afraid—"
"Mira, what do you have to be afraid of?"
"Of being alone. I've never belonged to anyone. I don't belong anywhere. I'm afraid that I don't even exist… I need to belong-to someone just for now."
"Mira—"
"I don't want to talk, I don't want words, I don't understand what they mean anymore." Her eyes blazed like fire, her voice and hands trembled with excitement, her mouth was soft with passion. "Make love to me. I want you to make love to me."
Alec's pulse beat swiftly in an unsteady percussion… he stared at her and caught his breath. He fought to remember that she was upset and didn't know what she was asking of him. "I won't take advantage of—" he began, and she smothered his words with her lips, her hands slipping beneath his robe as she pressed her palms against his smooth hard back. "Brat," he gasped, laughing shakily as he lifted his head to look at her, "Where you're concerned, I don't have a hell of a lot of self-control. And I'm not feeling very noble at the moment. You'd better be prepared to finish what you're trying to start…" He paused and swore as he felt her fumbling with the knot of his robe; the laughter jfed from his eyes. Catching her slim wrists in one hand, he stopped her clumsy movements and stared down at her. "Just remember when it's over that you asked for it," he said thickly.
Hungrily he parted her lips with his own and kissed her deeply, the taste of his mouth more intoxicating than wine. He let go of her wrists, his hands going to the neck of her gown and unfastening the long row of buttons one by one. Mira quivered as she felt the unhurried movements of his fingers on her clothes, knowing that soon there would be nothing to hinder his possession of her body.
He pulled the hem of her gown up to her waist. Mira stiffened involuntarily as his hand wandered boldly up her smooth leg to her naked hip; then she clasped her arms over her midriff as he tried to pull the gown up further.