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Forever Light(70)

By:Megan Smith


All the guys including the coaches stood, clapping and then they all took a few steps closer and as a family, as a team we became one.

Saylor does one better and picks me up, with very little effort and starts chanting something I can’t understand.

Macy and Madison flew in last night but we weren’t able to see each other because Cash doesn’t know Madison is here. I was able to get them front row seats. My phone beeps and I pull it out of my pocket.

Madison: Where are you?

Me: At the stadium. Want to see Cash before the game?

Madison: I was hoping you’d say that.

Me: K. Meet me down by section A and I’ll get him out there.

I walk over to Cash, “Can you do me a favor and not ask any questions?”

Cash shrugs.

“Go to section A.”

“Huh?”

I smile. “Just go to section A.”

He looks at me like I’ve completely lost my mind. “Alright.”

The opening ceremonies and the team bands have done their things. I still have yet to see Macy. Did she not want to come after all? Is she too disappointed in me for fucking up and not being able to play?

I spot Madison back in her seat and I jog over to her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to find Macy. I know you didn’t come alone.” I say confidently but there is doubt creeping in.

“Oh, yeah, uh,” Madison is fumbling with the right words to say. “She’s in the bathroom.”

“I’ll wait for her. I need to talk to her.”

“Don’t you have to be on the field?”

Why does it feel like she’s trying to get rid of me? “No. I’m not playing.”

The marching band comes on and I see Macy down on the sidelines. “What the fuck? You said she was in the bathroom.”

“Ladies and gentleman, here to perform your national anthem, Ms. Macy Thomas!”

“What is she doing?”

Madison hands me a folded up piece of paper. I quickly unfold it wanting to find out what’s going on.

The note has been kissed in blood red lipstick and the words ‘Just watch’ are written in Macy’s handwriting.





December 30, 2013



I’m so glad that Mom and Dad purchased a plane ticket for Madison to get to Texas with me. If she wasn’t here by my side I don’t think I would be able to sing in front of the crowd at today’s game.

As soon as my eyes opened this morning I was running for the bathroom. When I finish getting sick I climb off the floor and splash some cold water on my face and brush my teeth.

Madison sticks her head in the door. “Are you okay?”

I nod and I feel nauseous again from the taste of toothpaste in my mouth. “Just nervous.”

She steps in and rubs my back. “You’re going to be fine.”

I know she’s right but I’ve always had stage fright. It’s the reason why I would never be able to try out for American Idol or any of those kinds of shows.

“Let’s get you ready to see Cash.”

It’s the perfect distraction that I need. It takes my mind off of singing in front of thousands of people. I take my time helping her get ready. I fix up her hair, do her makeup and even pick out the clothes she’s going to wear. Then I work on getting myself ready. I curl my hair like I did with Madison’s. I go a little lighter with the makeup but stain my lips blood red. After getting dressed in jeans and my Ducks jersey with Landon’s name and number on it I walk over to the nightstand near the bed. I’ve always wondered why they keep a notepad and pen in the drawer, well now I know why. I rip a piece off, kiss it and then write the words, “Just watch.” I fold the piece of paper up and hand it to Madison.

“Give this to Landon before I come out.” She nods and sticks it in her purse.

We arrive at the stadium with the passes that Coach Lander gave me. It gets us access to the locker rooms. The cab ride here with Madison was quiet. I was afraid if I opened my mouth that I would throw up.

Madison goes to find her seat and I follow the instructions that Coach Lander gave me. A few security guards stop me along the way and I just flash my pass and they let me through. I’m hanging out in the locker room waiting for Coach Lander to come and get me.

Cash taps on the door before he opens it. He looks so handsome in his uniform. “You good?”

I shrug and fidget with my hands. “I’m nervous as hell.”

He wraps me in his arms. “You can do this. When you get out there find that one thing in that crowd of thousands of people and shut the rest of the world out.”

“Is that what you do?”

“Yup, when I’m on the field all I see is the field, the ball, the player, and the end zone.”