I nod in agreement. “Yes. I suppose the reason I don’t act on it is because Cash is different. Cash wouldn’t ever let anything happen. Landon on the other hand acts before he thinks.”
“He loves you, Macy. Only you.”
I know he does even if it’s Landon’s way of loving me but sometimes I wonder if it’s enough. Does love really conquer all? Some days I’m not so sure. But I am sure that my sister needs my love and I know that my love will be enough for her.
When Madison and I go back into the house I hear Alexa and Jackie laughing. Madison and I look at each other and shrug before we pile onto the couch where they’re both sitting.
“Do you girls remember that one time when Steven shaved his head when you guys were in fifth grade?”
Alexa laughs. “Yeah, I hated his skin head. It was so wrinkly and had dents in places there shouldn’t have been dents.”
Jackie giggles, “Did he ever tell you why he had to shave his hair?”
We all shake our heads.
“He had this thing with gum. He chewed it non-stop.” She laughs again. “He kept it in his mouth while he ate. It was the most disgusting thing ever.” She laughs harder. “I told him one night before bed that it was going to fall out of his mouth and get stuck in his hair and we’d have to shave it. He didn’t care. Well, the next morning he walks downstairs and Adam pointed to his head and asked what the hell that was.”
Alexa snorts.
“Sure enough the gum was stuck in his hair. We tried everything to get it out but it only made it worse and we had to shave his head. We could have just cut that one section off but that would have looked worse. He hated it and I swear he shed a few tears during that haircut.”
We all laughed and it felt so damn good.
Jackie sighs, “I want you girls to watch something.” She gets up and grabs the remote from the table and then takes her seat on the couch between us again.
The familiar voice of Mase singing “Welcome Back” starts playing and we’re staring at the gym back in our high school during that last pep rally. Madison reaches over and grabs my hand. She helped them all with this skit for school. The four of us watch as the boys dominated that show. Everyone was on their feet at one time or another.
Steven comes around in front of Cash when the music fades into “Like A Virgin.” Steven drops to his knees and acts like he’s proposing. Cash looks horrified all the while Landon is humping the ground.
I start laughing so hard I can’t see and my stomach aches. We were one crazy group of friends.
We all sigh when it’s over. “Where did you get this?” Madison asks.
Jackie pats her knee, “Adam.”
The movie flickers a few times and then we’re watching the championship game. We sit there and watch the entire game. No one moved even an inch. At the end of the game Steven runs up to Jackie, hugs her and he spins her around. Alexa is there in the background smiling like she just won the lottery and in a way she did. She had Steven’s heart and in my eyes that’s the ultimate jackpot.
“Love you, Mom.” Steven says before the video cuts off.
Jackie starts crying followed by Alexa and me and Madison.
When Jackie’s able to talk she says something that hits home and changes everything as I know it. She opens my big blue eyes, figuratively, and makes me see what’s right in front of me.
“You girls have a gift that was taken from Steven too soon.” She looks up the ceiling. “Don’t waste it. Don’t waste a second on something that’s in the past, something that can’t be changed.
For a moment, I wish I was pregnant. The timing is horrible but I want that tie to Landon in a way. I miss him. I picture a tiny little baby boy with chocolate brown hair and piercing blue eyes crawling around saying mama and dada. I lean my head back against the couch and see hopefully a future playing out, one where we write the game plays ourselves, not the playbook being written for us.
“I’ll be right back.” Jackie leaves the three of us sitting in the living room. We each look everywhere but at each other. “Catch.” She says as she comes back into the room and Madison reaches up and catches a set of keys.
“They’re the keys to the house on Cannon Beach. Go out there. Talk about things. Fix them. Remember why you are here and never forget what brought you to this point. Life’s too short.”
“You heard her,” Steven’s dad, John, startles us. “Chop, chop.”
Jackie wraps her arms around her husband and they both give us pointed looks. Alexa, Madison and I jump to our feet and are out the door in a flash.
“Macy, can you call Landon and Cash?” Madison asks when we reach our cars. “I’ll meet you back at the house and we can all drive down together?”