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Forever Light(61)

By:Megan Smith


He jumps up and yells, “Field gooooaall,” and proceeds to double over in laughter.

I shoot him a scowl that makes him laugh even harder.

Once he’s contained his amusement, Josh picks up his bowl and rinses it before putting it in the dishwasher. He kisses his mom’s cheek, “See you around dinner.”

“Bye, baby.”

Josh winks, “Eight o’clock, my bed?”

I start laughing and Jackie drops the cookie sheet on the floor. “Oh dear.” Jackie spins on her son. “Josh.”

“You wouldn’t know how to handle me.” I toss back at him. It’s probably inappropriate but this is Josh, it hardly ever is.

“I can take you and Madison at the same time.” He says smugly.

“Josh!” Jackie yells. I laugh as he holds his hands up in surrender. “Out. Now.”

Josh winks and leaves the kitchen. Jackie finishes picking up the ruined dough and throws it in the trash. I expect her to be a bit embarrassed but she’s smiling. “You always did know how to handle yourself with the boys, huh?”

I shake my head, “No, just the Griffin’s.”

She fiddles around with the spoon in her hand, calculating her next question. “How was Alexa?”

I shrug because, yeah she talked to us, but it seemed like a mask to cover the pain, the hurt. “She’s okay, I guess.”

Jackie nods, “How are you doing?” She looks up to me, “And don’t lie to me, missy.”

She always has a way of knowing you’re about to lie. I can’t even tell you how many times Steven was caught up in a lie with his mom and she knew every single time.

“I’m a mess.” It’s the truth.

She wipes her hands on her apron and motions with her head to take a seat at the table. I follow.

“What’s been going on? How are you and Madison dealing?” she looks away and then back to me again. “I know you girls don’t talk much.”

“We don’t talk at all.” The thought of Madison makes me so angry, makes me want to punch her in the face and that’s not me, but when it comes to my sister that’s how I feel.

“Sweetie,” Jackie says in a motherly voice. “You have to let the past go. You, Macy, of all the people I know never hold on to anything.”

Folding my hands I place them on my lap, “She almost slept with Landon.”

Jackie’s shocked, “Almost?”

I nod, “Yeah, at prom.”

Jackie doesn’t say anything and I don’t want to tell her the rest of the story but I know I need to. I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not someone who was involved. I can’t talk to my mom about it because we’re her daughters and she doesn’t need to hear this shit. Our mom just thinks that I blame Madison for the accident which couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Alexa caught them.” Her eyes close briefly. “One minute we were dancing and the next moment Alexa caught them in the janitor’s closet making out. Cash and I went to go find them and they both stumbled out of the closet with their clothes all disheveled.”

“Oh Jesus,” Jackie shakes her head.

“Yup, I haven’t spoken to her in three years.”

Jackie’s head tilts to the side, “But you talk to Landon?”

I ring my hands together tightly, “Yeah.”

She huffs, “You always did have a soft spot for Landon.” Jackie shifts in her seat. “He would walk into a room and your face would light up.”

Tears sting my eyes and I try to blink them away.

“Macy,” I hear the concern. “Do you ever think about what Madison is going through? What if it was her who tried to kill herself?” Her eyes glass over. “I’m not trying to defend Madison here because what she did was wrong but if you look at it from my side of things. She not only lost my baby, one of her best friends, but she also lost you, her other half.”

That makes me angry. I angle my body away from Jackie’s. “She never should have put a hand on Landon. Hell, she not only hurt me but she crushed Cash.” I bang my hand on the table. “She had everything and throws it away like it was trash!”

Jackie stands, walks around the table and sits next to me grabbing both my hands. “I know, sweetie. What she did was so very wrong, Landon too, but some of us aren’t as strong as you and Cash. Some people do stupid things when they’re mad, when they’re hurting. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol, some people try killing themselves. And some people turn a blind eye.”

The tears fall, I can’t help it.

“I miss him, Jackie.” My head falls forward, too heavy to hold up. “I’m sorry.”