Julia laughs and pats her hair. “Can’t tame it.”
I stare at Bentley, she stares at me and just as I’m near tears, she tries to take my coffee and pulls my hair.
“No, no, Bentley.” Julia says. “She just started that and we’re trying to break the habit.” Julie bends and untangles my hair from Bentley’s little fingers.
I stand and ruffle her little head, “I’m going to go visit your big brother.”
“It’s nice seeing you around here, Macy.”
It is nice being back here, away from what my life has become.
It may be weird that I’m going into Cash’s room not knowing if he may be naked in there or busy doing something else. I’m hoping he’s not either. I knock lightly on the door and hear a groan, but not much else so I knock again, this time louder. “Cash?”
“Yep.” His voice sounds groggy. “Come in.”
When I open the door, he looks at me funny but smiles. “Hey?”
Leaving the door open, I kick my shoes off leaning into the wall careful not to spill the coffee. By the time I reach his bed, I’m teary eyed again. “Scoot over… I need a friend.”
He looks at me funny. “What’s the matter?”
“I said scoot over.” I growl, showing him the coffee. “It’s the least you could do since I brought you coffee.”
That perks him up enough to scoot over.
“Is it weird that you’re in my bed?” Cash asks taking a drink from his coffee and then smirking suggestively. “I’m not wearing any shorts.”
“Cash… you’d better be clothed under there.” I groan.
“Hey, don’t tell me what to do. You got in my bed, remember?”
I’m quiet for a few minutes and then sigh. “Are you seriously naked?”
He pulls the covers back and I shield my eyes. “No,” he’s laughing at me. “Just teasing.”
I move my arm away from my eyes when he pulls the blanket back down.
“So what’s up? Usually when a chick’s in my bed she wants something from me.”
I roll my eyes, “I just need a friend…” I’m quiet for a minute and then the tears flow. All I do is cry, this is getting ridiculous. “I think I might be pregnant.”
Cash moves over a half a foot to the edge of the bed nearly falling off.
“What are you doing?” I squint my eyes watching him.
“I don’t want to catch it.”
I roll my eyes again but don’t say anything else. And after another few minutes, I can’t stand his silence and lift my eyes from the cup in my hand. “Say something?”
“What do you want me to say?” he shrugs and then smiles, he’s teasing. “Are you sure I just showed you my penis that night?”
“Yes,” I shove his shoulder.
“What did Landon say?”
“He asked if it was yours.”
He huffs, “Figures.”
“And you said?”
“I told him that we never slept together.” I frown. “Then I accused him of sleeping around. He called Madison a whore too. He’s fucked up. I thought they were friends.”
Cash tenses about the time I said whore and doesn’t let up, but he also doesn’t say anything more.
“Are you going to keep it?” His voice is a little uneven.
“I haven’t taken a test. I’m just late, at least I hope.”
He looks over at me, his mood easing. “I’d make a really great uncle.”
I smile because I know he would. I have no doubt Cash would make a good father. Landon on the other hand, I’m not sure about these days. He can’t even seem to take care of himself.
We hear the door creak and then the little thumping of crawling and Cash smiles. He knows who just came in his room but when she peeks her crazy haired head up, he still startles. “She’s done that shit to me twice. If she wasn’t so cute, I’d be scared of her.”
“Her hair cracks me up.” I say trying to tame it down when she crawls on his lap and sits in between us.
“Mine was like that when I was little.” Cash looks at me and then Bentley. “You sure you’re ready for this?”
I shrug, “I’m not sure of much these days but if I am pregnant I’ll be ready with or without Landon.”
Cash tickles Bentley and she squeals. The sounds making me smile instead of crying. There is no doubt in my mind that this baby will be my forever light.
December 7, 2013
It’s been, well, it’s been three years since I’ve stepped foot in Steven’s house. It’s not easy and I doubt it ever will be. I’ve been invited a dozen times but I’ve been able to convince myself not to go.