Landon 11:40pm: I need you.
I look up to see Cash looking at me. He knows it’s Landon texting me. “There’s always a choice, Macy.”
“Sometimes there’s not, Cash.” Because really there isn’t. It’s not often that Landon says he needs me. I want to run to him. I want to be there for him but then I think about that girl with her legs wrapped around him. It should have been mine but they weren’t.
Cash and I walk into the other room where it isn’t so loud. The alcohol is flowing through my veins now and I’m feeling a little braver.
I smile, “Would it be totally inappropriate if I sent him a text that says I miss his penis?”
“Probably. But that’s pretty classy. I want someone to send me a text saying they miss my penis.”
I type the message out to Cash instead. “Done.”
“You’ve never seen my penis?”
I laugh. “How would you know?” I’ve seen Cash naked a few times, his ass mostly. He doesn’t know that though.
“Have you?”
My cheeks flush, “No. I’m teasing.”
Cash winks at me. He’s in a playful mood. “Do you want to?”
Oh my God. “Cash!”
Cash holds his hands up. “I’m teasing!”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, sure you are.”
“Mostly, I was.” Cash says with a wink.
Cash and I are standing next to the wall and a P!nk song comes on. I can’t help but sing along. Once the lyrics start it’s like something in me clicks and I come in tune with it.
I’ve always loved to sing, mostly in the shower, but nonetheless I love it. Not many have heard me because honestly it kind of embarrasses me. Cash, Madison, Landon, Alexa and of course my parents are probably the only ones who have ever heard me. Madison and I used to get our hair brushes out after our showers when we were little and would have a sing off. Madison couldn’t hold a tune to save her life but it was fun. I secretly think the only reason she did it was to hear me sing. She’d ask me any other time and I couldn’t do it. I hate the spotlight.
A couple of times when Landon was sick he’d ask me to sing to him. He said it was soothing and he’d always fall asleep. I don’t know if that was a bad thing or a good thing.
“You should get on that America’s Got Talent or American Idol… whatever that shit is called.
I wave him off because it would be a cold day in hell that I could do that. I don’t have the balls.
“You need to, Macy. You have the talent.”
God, not him too. Madison said the same shit. Landon knows better than to bring it up anymore after one horrible fight we had. It gives me anxiety. “Cash…drop it.”
We stand together holding the wall up for a few more minutes before he leads me to the dance floor. We’re dancing when “Blurred Lines” comes up. I throw my arms around Cash “I love this song!”
I never dance unless it’s with Landon. I never felt comfortable enough, it kind of feels like cheating to me so I don’t do it. Cash’s hands wander down to my ass. I don’t push him off because I’m safe with him. It’s Cash, it’s my best friend. We dance like this for a few seconds before I turn and press my back into his chest.
I look around, people are staring, mostly the girls. They wish they were with Cash, I can see it in their eyes. I start working my ass up against Cash. I look over at one girl, her eyes trained on Cash. His hands are on my hips matching my moves. The girl bites her lip. She looks over at me, her expression changes from lust to jealousy. This should feel wrong to dance like this with Cash but it’s not. He’s my best friend.
I feel Cash step back a step but he leans in, his chest pushing against my chest. “Stop, Macy. You’re making me hard.”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I didn’t mean that but he is a fucking guy, guess I should have known better. “Sorry.”
He slurs his words, “I’m not trying to be a dick. Just…I’m drunk.” He lips brush over my cheek lightly. “You keep that shit up and I’ll do something stupid.”
I’m drunk too and I just don’t give a shit what he says. I’m shutting my feelings off. I’m living in the moment. I push back and grind back into him. I guess I am teasing him.
I look over to the girl who was watching us. She grabs hold of poor Saylor and pulls him a few feet away from where Cash and I are. She turns so her back is to him and then she grabs his hands and puts them on her hips and grinds into him.
Saylor looks over to me with wide eyes and mouths. “What the fuck?”
I throw my head back and laugh.