Forever Light(22)

I push back on Landon’s chest, “Settle down, he didn’t mean it.” Then I nod my head in my sister’s direction.

Landon grips my arms and moves me from his embrace. “I don’t give a fuck if he can’t handle Madison. Maybe he should just leave her the fuck alone and while he’s at it I wish he would fucking leave you alone too.”

Landon storms off before I can even get a word out. People are looking at me, me, not him. Landon Hayes, number ten, wide receiver can do no wrong around here. Fuck that. Cash and him are the ones with the issues.

I’ve learned my lesson years ago with Landon. When he’s pissed just let him go. He just needs to cool off, work whatever the hell is wrong out and then he’ll come back around. I know deep down inside that he isn’t coming back anytime soon. He walked off towards the stoners who are hanging out back. He’s promised me over and over again he was done with that shit but clearly he isn’t.

Jet Johnson, a tight end from the team, gets up from his seat and gives me a little nod. I smile and take the seat he just vacated.

“You know you aren’t the only one who deals with that shit, right?” he asks me.

No, I don’t really know because Landon doesn’t talk about much of anything with me. “Well, that makes everything all better, huh?” That came out a little bitchier then I wanted it to and I know he was just being nice but I’m fucking tired of this shit. He’s pissed and I didn’t even do a damn thing.

Jet smiles, “They could be fist fighting every day.” His smile widens. “Now that’s something I’d pay to see.”

I try not to laugh but it’s either that or cry right now. I finish my beer hoping that Landon will come back before I’m finished. It’s a long shot but whatever.

My eyes land on my sister across the room. She’s standing there with that guy Jay I’ve heard about. She looks uncomfortable as he gets closer and closer to her. I watch the two of them wondering what in the hell she’s doing with him. He’s bad fucking news.

Jay reaches for Madison’s hand and they disappear into the crowd. My sister is a fucking idiot. I need to get the hell out of here.

I stand and toss my cup in the trash can. “You leaving?” Jet asks.

“Yeah, he’s not coming back.”

He nods because he knows too.

Heather is sitting on a couch on the other side of the room. I make my way over to her and she tries to look behind me.

I shake my head, “Will you leave with me? I don’t want to walk home by myself.”

Heather stands and adjusts her shirt, “Where’s Landon.”

I look towards the door, “Cash talked to me.”

“Alright, let’s go.”





September 28, 2013



I lost my shit after Cash shoved my shoulder. He was being a prick. Taking it out on Macy wasn’t right but I’m so fucking sick of everything and everybody. I just need an escape. I knew coming to this fucking party was going to be a mistake but I also knew I needed to talk to Macy. It’s not her fault that Cash and I don’t speak. It’s my fault, everything is always my fault. I’m the fuck up.

I storm off outside needing to cool the hell down. Once the cool fall air hits me I take a deep breath and hold it for as long as I can. I do this two more times but by doing that it sends me in search of the weed I smell. My body craves it.

“Hey, man.” Jack says to me when I walk over to him. He’s the campus stoner, everybody knows this. He’s the one who introduced me to Jay.

I give a little nod in his direction as he offers me his joint. I take a hit and hold it in until my lungs start screaming. I let it out and take another hit doing the same thing before handing it back to him. My blood starts pumping slower, my lungs aren’t working overtime and my head starts to clear.

Looking around I notice a few people staring in my direction, it should bother me but I don’t give a shit. People treat me like I’m a God around here all because I’m a starting wide receiver and I’m having a great fucking season on the team. I hate it. I know in the back of my mind I should worry about these people watching me get high because it could get back to Coach but at this point in time I don’t care. It’s this or beat the shit out of someone. I need this to take the edge off things until I can get home.

Jack offers me another hit and I take it. I need it. I want it. I crave it.

“You alright, man?” Jack asks taking it back from me again.

I pat him on the shoulder, “Yeah, man. Thanks.”

He nods, “Jay’s here you know.”

At the mention of Jay’s name things stop. I tilt my head to the side, “Where?”