It’s my turn to laugh at him. I’m shaking my head as he watches me, testing and then provoking. “I'd like to see you try, asshole.”
He shoves me getting in my face. “How long have you been fucking Macy?”
I admire his bluntness and fight off a smile. There’s nothing funny about it but I smile. Maybe that’s why he smiled.
“Don’t say shit like that unless you want an honest answer.” I’m making his head spin and feeding him lies without even saying the words. It makes him see red. It’s not technically my fault if he’s misconstruing what I’m saying as the truth. I didn’t lie. He just isn’t gathering the truth from my cryptic words.
It’s by design and if he knows me at all, he knows that.
“You warning me?” he asks, his expression controlled in a way, but fading in others. His voice has a dejected tone to it. It would kill him if he thought I touched his girl that way.
You know what, fuck you, Landon. Fuck you because you touched mine.
“I guess I am.” I smile. “Don’t ask unless you want the truth.”
He waits. His eyes scanning my face like he’s studying me. He’s looking for the lie.
He says nothing. He knows I don’t lie. I don’t need to.
I shove, harder than he does but not nearly hard enough. I don’t like where this is going and he doesn’t either. “How long have you been fucking, Madison?”
I’m really fucking curious what he’s going to do next. Landon’s not dumb but when he’s like this, resentful and moody, he’s a fucking asshole with problems that go deeper than even a therapist could handle.
For the second time in a week, I’m punched in the face.
“I like a man with battle wounds.” Bethany says, taking in my split lip and the gash above my eye that I had stitched up mere hours ago. Landon got in a few hits but he’s nursing a broken nose so I feel like my mission was accomplished.
I feel good about the beer in my hand too. I’m hoping it takes this pain away. Something’s got to, right?
I laugh and take my hat off running my fingers through my hair nodding for her to sit down beside me. Bethany takes that as her opportunity and it’s one I’m giving her as I replace my hat pulling it down to shadow my eyes. I give it to her because to my left I see Madison come into view.
Fucking Madison.
There goes that beat in my chest. It thumps wildly knowing she’s here.
She’s wearing a dark hoodie with the hood pulled up over her face. I know it’s her though. I know that girl. I’d know her in the daylight, in the moonlight, in the darkest of nights. She looks awful, like she hasn’t eaten in days and has been high just as long.
I know her.
Behind her with his hand on the small of her back is Jay.
That hand should be mine.
Her gaze darts to mine.
She finally fucking sees it. There’s a small part of me that thinks she wants me to be upset and see this. Only she’s not looking at me.
Should I be upset?
That’s a fucking understatement.
I’m a fucking mess.
You know what, fuck her for showing up here. Fuck her for being with him. He sees me before she does and smiles at me. Fucking smiles.
I give nothing in return.
I turn back to Bethany, a smile curves her lips. My eyes drift from hers and to Madison. Bethany moves onto my lap and straddles my waist. I let her. I bring the beer to my lips and I let her. My head falls back against the couch.
I look at Madison again, she’s staring at me.
I hope she’s a fucking mess like I am.
I hope she feels this pain and heartache I breathe and die for.
I hope she’s miserable.
For so long I’ve felt alone in this anger that takes over everything I am. It’s controlling me, taking over everything I try to understand and confusing me. How could she not see that? I believed in her. My life was built around that faith I had that I could change her, be there for her until she saw it. It never worked.
She’s watching me, her eyes intent on mine to see what I’m doing with this girl on my lap.
This could have been you. It was you. Fuck you.
Smiling at Madison, my mouth lowered to Bethany’s. It’s a condescending smile I offer Madison. A smile that asks, how does it feel to be used?
This is revenge and she knows it.
Keeping my eyes locked with hers, I kiss Bethany. It’s not a kiss I’d give Madison but I put some emotion behind it. And from her view, it looks like I’m into it.
Bethany looks at me, I know the look, she’s wanting this to go further and she holds up a condom. I nod and undo my belt buckle and the buttons on my jeans. Apparently this is how this works because she goes for it. You’d think she’d want some place private but no, not this girl. She wants the world to see who she’s fucking right now.