Macy laughs. “Yes, Cash. You are.” She tries like hell to pull me along. “Come on, bud, let’s get you to bed.”
I stop walking. “No, I mean. I’m sweating.” I look down at her. “Do you think that’s why people get drunk and fuck?”
Her look becomes concerned.
“I think it’s because you get hot, take your clothes off and then once you’re naked you have to have sex.”
“I think you think too much.”
“I don’t understand. It’s a great penis and she doesn’t appreciate it!” I yell in the courtyard, for everyone to hear.
“You don’t have to run to Madison, you know.” Macy says, trying to make me see that there are other options. It’s pretty fucking pathetic that I’ve had the same booty call for three years. “You could use your hand.”
“I do. A lot. My hand gets pretty sore at times.” Macy starts laughing to the point she can’t walk. Which is a problem because she’s holding me up. I point my finger at her. “If you tell anyone that I’m going to kill you.”
She laughs harder.
And harder until she can’t breathe.
“That wasn’t supposed to be funny, Macy.” I try my hardest to keep a straight face but I can’t.
Soon we’re sitting on the grass laughing at each other, practically in tears. “But it’s more than that with Madison.” I say when I can speak again. “I don’t go there for that. It happens but most of the time when I call her… it’s like I’m barely holding on any more. I can’t take one more hour without seeing her.”
“How often do you guys get together?” Macy stands and brushes off her jeans, then reaches down to help me up. “I thought it was like once in a while.”
I raise an eyebrow at her when she helps me up. “Ha. It’s like once a week. Well, maybe not that often but like when football practice starts up there are times I go over to her dorm every morning before my morning practice.”
“That’s called an obsession, Cash.”
I sigh, completely defeated, if I wasn’t earlier. “See… stop putting titles on my fucked up life. It’s depressing.”
We’re inside her dorm and I’m not entirely sure why I’m not in mine but I give up trying to figure that out and fall on her bed with her.
“Were you really going to kiss me?” Macy asks when my head is on her shoulder.
“No.” I say honestly, because I wouldn’t. “But I totally would have licked your cheek.”
“Do you really want to see my penis?” I ask, tucking my hands under my cheek. “I mean… you sent that text.”
“Cash?”
“Yes?”
“Stop offering to show me your penis.”
“Ok.” I sigh, my eyes drifting closed. “But it’s really very nice. You’re missing out.”
“Uh huh.”
October 20, 2013
There’s something stabbing my side and I realize it’s an elbow. Macy’s elbow as we lay side by side, fully clothed on her twin bed. “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re like trying to sleep next to a fucking chicken wing.”
“I like my own space.” She pushes against me trying to get more room. “And no one said you had to stay at my place.”
“Apparently you like your own space.” Clutching my side I groan and curl into myself. She rocked me harder than some of the hits I take. “I think you kidney punched me last night.”
Macy grabs a hoodie from the floor and pulls it over her shoulders. “Don’t be a bitch. Like I said, you could have went to your dorm.”
“Whatever. I couldn’t walk last night much less find my own dorm.” I point out. “I could have been date raped.”
“Highly unlikely.”
“I’m attractive.”
“Uh huh… and I saw your penis last night. So we’ve covered that and we’re even for you seeing me naked junior year.”
I’m a little surprised by her remark, but then again, I’m not because I’ve been known to whip it out whenever when I’m drunk. “When did you see it? Did you date rape me?”
“No, dumb ass, I didn’t date rape you.” She shoves my shoulder, laughing. “You had to pee and just whipped it out. You owe me a new plant by the way. I don’t think it liked urine.”
“Shit.” I look over at her plant next to the door. “I peed on your plant?”
“Yep. And on the floor.”
Heather, Macy’s roommate, comes around the corner from the bathroom and into Macy’s room and stands there—staring at me—wearing her footie pajamas.