Forever Dark(39)

And then she looks at me. She’s going to say something.

Don’t say it.

Don’t.

“Do something stupid.” Macy says, whispering in my ear, still moving against my hips and panting.

Ah fuck. There it is. She’s testing me.

She wants me to and it’s such unfamiliar territory for me because she’s Macy Thomas. She’s Madison’s twin sister. She’s Landon’s girl. She’s my friend…

I grab her by the wrist, a little rougher than I probably needed to and lead her down the hall where there’s about ten people making out in seclusion. She looks at me as I back her against the wall and press myself against her.

“Is this what you want? Me?” I whisper in her ear and then pull back to look at her. Bright blues question my intentions. “I’m not Landon, Macy. I don’t fuck like him either.”

Her eyes widen, she doesn’t know what to make of that statement, and I know she’s curious now. I can tell she is by the way her breath expels faster and her cheeks flush again. I let my eyes travel south and back up just a touch creating an inch of space between us. When I look at her like this she reminds me of Madison before the accident and it’s kind of refreshing. But still, she’s not Madison. She’s not the girl who owns my heart and wrecks my fucking life. I won’t make a bad situation even worse.

I think she’s expecting me to say something else. I don’t. I don’t have any other answer for her. At least not one she’ll be satisfied with.

At first, she doesn’t press for one either. She shouldn’t.

Macy shifts her feet and leans against the wall with her shoulders sticking her breasts out. My eyes drift south again. It’s only natural. “I wouldn’t know…”

“Know what?” I let my stare find hers.

“How you fuck.”

She’s gonna make a fucking fool of me. I know it.

“Fine,” I take my left hand that’s pressed into the wall beside her head and reach for the button of my jeans. “Wanna find out… right now? You’re barely wearing anything. All I’d have to do is push your panties aside.” I raise an eyebrow at her.

I don’t want her to answer me.

Don’t.

Macy swallows when my lips are an inch from hers. I’m not going to kiss her. I can’t. But she thinks I am and it does exactly what I’m trying to prove to her. She doesn’t want this.

Her eyes are distant, like she’s imagining what I’m like. I don’t want her thinking that way but I don’t stop her.

I don’t say anything. I let my mind wander that way too. She’s a softer touch. And warmer smile. I press against her hard, her back hits the wall again.

A shaking hand rises and she swallows again. “Don’t…”

I give her a smile and bury my head in her neck. Macy needs this, right here. She needs to know that no matter how bad Landon treats her, one, he still loves her. And two, she’s sexy.

“You’re a fucking tease.” I say, biting her neck.

She giggles and pushes me back wiping away the wetness my mouth left on her.

“And you made my penis hard.”

That gets her relaxing again and she rolls her eyes. “You’re such a fucking weirdo, Cash.”

“Well, come on tease. I’m hungry.”

Macy tenses and I have to laugh. Shaking my head I pull her with me. “For pizza. I’m hungry for pizza.”

“Uh-huh.”

I never had any intention of doing anything with Macy. Never would. She’s off limits and I’m not Landon. What I meant to do was show her that just because she’s my friend and Landon’s an asshole doesn’t make her invisible.

We went and ate pizza, drank more, and the night was going good until I decided that sticking a straw in a bottle of Jack Daniels was easier than taking shots.

It wasn’t all bad. Well, it was when Macy spilled her drink on me. But hey, not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing. I was burning up. I feel like someone slipped me ecstasy or something.

We’re on our way back to the dorms because campus security politely asked me to remove myself from the middle of the road, where I was apparently sleeping at one point. I’m a lazy drunk. I get drunk and tired and then crash wherever. My freshman year I even earned myself the nickname Crash.

I once slept on the floor of the frozen food section of Walmart because I got sleepy looking for frozen pizzas one night after a party.

Everything is swaying as I walk and I feel like I’m walking in a straight line, but it’s an effort. Like walking up a wall or something.

“I’m hot.” I could feel the sweat beading down my back. Or maybe it was rain? I can’t tell at this point.