“No.” I reply immediately, hoping he gets the fucking hint.
He looks at me, smiling. He didn’t get the hint.
“Okay then.” He says with a sardonic lift of his brows.
“I can’t tonight.” I say feeling the need to explain a little. Just a little.
“You sure?” His brow lifts higher.
I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t sure, dumb ass.
“I’m sure.”
My classes thankfully pass with ease. Ninety percent of what’s said I won’t remember later. Half these classes I have right now I’ve taken already but am forced to take again because I didn’t pass the first time.
As I’m walking through campus, I see Landon and Macy walking, holding hands. They’re still together even after everything that’s happened. I can’t say the same for Cash and me. After the accident we drifted apart.
Landon smiles and gives me a wink when he sees me walking toward them. Macy, nothing. She’s my twin sister and she acts like I’m not even alive.
Macy hasn’t spoken a word to me since prom and I can’t blame her. It is heartbreaking. Our parents came up for our birthday this year and it was awful because they tried to make us talk. They might as well have been trying to rip Macy’s hair out. She wouldn’t even look at me. Granted I was high just to get through the night, but still she didn’t say a single word to me. I’ve tried to talk to her but she walks away like I’m not even breathing. I bet she wishes I wasn’t.
I never go home during the summers, mostly because of her. Since we left that small town of Canby three years ago, I know there will be a time when I have to return. But it won’t be easy.
Cash has been back since we left. He spends the summers working with his dad for a few weeks and then it’s off to football camp. Macy’s been back too but me? No. I haven’t. I’m usually taking summer classes because I can never seem to pass a class the first time. At the rate I was going, I would be lucky if I could graduate in ten years if they didn’t kick me out of school before then.
I’m sure it’s not that bad, but I have failed quite a few classes due to my lack of attendance.
I’m outside my last class for the afternoon and digging through my purse for the baggie I know is in there. After double checking it’s there, I head back inside and try like hell not to fall asleep in this class like I did last week.
After class, I go back to my dorm and take a nap since I can never seem to relax during the day. My phone buzzing wakes me up. I ignore it but wake up anyway. The sky’s black now, night taking over and I find myself wandering campus getting some fresh air. I do this a lot. Another way to relax and wind down. Another attempt at a coping mechanism that fails.
When I’m in the parking lot I see Landon’s black truck. It’s parked where it’s usually parked, away from where campus security hangs out.
They’ll never bother him because of his status here but he’s still cautious.
After prom, Landon and I never touched each other again. Well, we kissed, when completely sober and decided we didn’t have feelings for each other. It was for the better because that’s what destroyed my relationship with Macy to begin with.
I tap lightly on the window, he gives me a nod to get in. When I do, we sit in silence after I ask about Macy and he asks about Cash. Then he’s staring at my arms and the bruises that cover them.
“He’s bad news, Madison.” Landon says, bloodshot eyes wandering to mine, fumes filling the cab. “Stay away from him.”
I know Jay Lucas is bad news. But I don’t have a choice anymore. I’ve gotten myself in pretty deep with him and it’s not like I can just tell him to leave me alone. A guy like Jay wouldn’t listen to me.
“I know.” I tell Landon trying to appease him.
“Do you?” He asks, shifting to lay his hand over the back of my seat.
“Yeah…”
“Why are you sleeping with him?”
I know Landon knows shit about my life that I don’t want him to. He sees things and while he mostly keeps to himself, there are times where he lets me know when I’m in trouble. We’re friends. Probably best friends these days and I know he’s looking out for me. And then there are days when it pisses me off.
Why does he care?
He shouldn’t. He has his own problems and his own girl to worry about.
“Landon…” I sigh and stare out at the cars in the parking lot. I don’t want to look at him because I know the look. A mixture of disgust, sadness, and pity.
He shakes my seat slightly. “What are you doing, Madison? You’re still sleeping with Cash but yet you’re fucking around with Jay… and Colton… who else?”