She's mine.
I lift myself off her and she sits up, pulling on her dress so she's covered, then smoothing her hair. Her lips are swollen and her cheeks are flushed. She's gorgeous. And soon I'll have her naked in my bed and I'll really make her mine.
Once and for all.
I've been so nervous thinking about my first time actually having sex that when the moment is finally here, it's shocking how at ease I am about the entire thing.
The dance was so much fun. I'd never come to the winter formal before, and having Jordan Tuttle as my date was just … perfect. He looks dreamy in a dark suit and tie, and he brought me a beautiful white rose wrist corsage. I pinned a white rose boutonniere on his lapel and then we posed while my parents and Trent took photos on their phones. Well, Dad busted out his fancy camera first and took a bunch of photos, and then he let Mom and Trent have at it with their phones. Trent just wanted to get bad pictures of us so he can post them on his Instagram later, the little jerk.
I gave my phone to my mom and she took a bunch more for me. Then I opened the Snapchat app and took a selfie of the two of us together. I didn't have to do any retakes either. The photo was perfect. I added a caption before I posted it to my story.
My date for winter formal. #cuddlewithTuttle
I posted it to Instagram too.
Yeah, I have possessiveness issues, just like Jordan does.
But now we're at Jordan's house and we're in his bedroom. He's undone his tie and shed his jacket, rolling up the sleeves on his shirt, and wow, wow, wow is he hot.
If I think about what happened earlier in the limo, I'll get embarrassed. I can't believe how fast he made me … you know. All night at the dance had felt like foreplay. All the slow dance and teasing and flirting. The laughing and kissing and spending time with friends and hand-holding and heated looks across the table. Yeah, one big night of foreplay, so of course when he slips his fingers in my panties, I go off like a rocket.
Like I said, embarrassing. But only a little bit. I feel comfortable enough with Jordan that I can get over the embarrassment pretty easily. Besides, the boy knows just how to touch me.
Somehow, while I was lost in my thoughts, Jordan put on music and lit a couple of candles. He also got rid of his shirt, kicked off his shoes and is now lying across his bed wearing only the black dress pants, patting the empty spot beside him.
"Come join me."
It's not a question, it's a demand, and I don't mind, because I want to join him. I start to step out of my shoes but he slowly shakes his head.
"Keep the shoes on."
I'm smiling as I crawl onto the bed and lie beside him. He scoops me into his arms and holds me close, our mouths meeting in a slow, sweet kiss. He touches my face, his fingers gentle, his lips and tongue teasing, and my body instantly reacts, wanting more.
So much more.
I keep talking about unforgettable moments, and this is one of them for sure. Maybe a top moment in our lives so far, because hello, we're about to have sex for the very first time.
The very first time.
I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.
"Amanda." His voice is ragged against my neck and he's grabbing handfuls of my dress. "Let's take this off."
I help him get rid of the dress and when he sees me in only my black lacy thong and matching demi bra, he groans and covers his eyes like he can't stand it.
"Damn, you are trying to kill me, I swear."
"You're trying to kill me too." I reach for the waistband of his pants and slide my fingers beneath it, touching soft, hot skin and making him shiver. I slowly undo the button and pull the zipper down. "These need to come off, too."
He shucks them off fast, and then we're both only in our underwear. His erection strains against the front of his boxer briefs and I can't stop staring. That is going to be inside of me in mere minutes.
Will it fit?
Will it hurt?
Will I like it?
I'm guessing the answer to all three questions will be yes, yes, yes.
"You know I've never done this before, right?" I ask him, my voice shaky, my entire body shaky. I'm so nervous and excited.
"I know." He touches my cheek, his thumb streaking across my swollen lips. His face is somber, not even a trace of a smile as he says, "You know I haven't done this before either, right?"
Wait.
A.
Minute.
I smile. Try to blow his statement off with a little bit of humor. "You're joking, right?" I ask with a nervous laugh.
He is as solemn as I've ever seen him as he slowly shakes his head no.
"I'm serious."
I close my eyes and now I'm the one shaking my head, laughing a little. Laughing a lot. He must be joking. This is a trick. A weird one, but a trick nevertheless. "Okay, you're so funny. The joke is on me, ha ha."