How could this be? He hadn’t been ready to have a child then. Had he?
Horror flooded me. I had wanted one, but knew we weren’t ready. Did just the act of wanting one mean I had ‘agreed’ to have a baby? Is that how I became pregnant?
I couldn’t have a baby without Thayde! How could I possibly even continue to live, let alone rule the merpeople and raise a child on my own?
I broke the orb, turning in the water and speed swam to the steps. Jumping out of the water, I slipped into my pants and ran into the house.
Aletheia stood up from the couch as I flew through the doors.
“What’s happened?”
“I need to talk to you!” I rushed at her and grabbed her hand. Mom looked up at me from the couch across the coffee table. She looked relieved I hadn’t chosen her.
“What is it?” Aletheia shrieked as I dragged her down the hallway to a guest bedroom. Slamming the heavy door shut, I leaned against it, the engraving bearing into my back.
“I’m pregnant.” I announced, with a bit more terror than probably needed.
“What?” She fell back onto the bed, her perfect mouth forming an O.
“I’ve been nauseous for days, but I didn’t think of that because it’s impossible for me to be pregnant!!!”
“Calm down, calm down!” Aletheia repeated, more to herself than to me. “Did you and Thayde agree to have a baby?”
“No!”
“Did you talk about it?”
“Well, yes when we were in Moorea, but I was just asking if we needed protection and he laughed,” I stopped short as feelings of love and happiness and then the awful shower of grief washed over me.
“When you were discussing it, did either of you say you wanted to have children?”
“We’ve discussed it before and we know I’m going to have a little girl! So, yes, I suppose we did.”
“If both of you thought at the same time that you wanted a child together, it’s possible.”
“How? I mean, even if we thought it, we didn’t make the decision to make the baby did we?”
“If both of you, for the briefest moment during your conversation, agreed, even if it was thought in secret, that would start the process.”
“Oh God,” I dropped down next to her and we sat in silence. The tick of the clock next to the bed counted down the seconds. Aletheia turned to me.
“This is wonderful!” Her face shone with happiness. It was not the reaction I expected.
“Wonderful? We’re almost at war!”
“You’re creating life. And with Thayde’s child – it’s such a blessing!” Aletheia grabbed my hands in hers. “You must see this as a blessing, not an inconvenience. With all that has just happened,” she broke off. “Well, you should be happy. I’m happy for you!”
Throwing her arms around me, she hugged me tight, whispering into my ear. “The Link is pregnant. To have thought this would happen would never have occurred to any of us.”
I pulled from her arms. “Do not tell a soul.”
“Why?”
“No one can know, not now. I’ve got to wait. With the war happening, the last thing I need is for everyone else to be distracted by this.”
“You’re not thinking of actually partaking in this war?”
“See? That’s what I mean. Yes, I will. And I’m going to end all this.”
Aletheia sighed, taking her long black hair into her hands.
“This is too much.” I stared into the ground. “How can I handle all this?”
“You’ll have to take everything one step at a time.”
“My last moments with Thayde were,” I burst into tears, “dreadful.”
“What happened?”
“Thayde – he looked so disgusted with the scars on my arms. He made me feel so ugly, dirty.”
“Did he say he was disgusted?”
“No, but you should have seen his reaction when he touched them.”
Aletheia’s purple eyes narrowed. “Morgan, did you read his mind? Try to understand what was happening?”
“No. I let him have his own thoughts.”
“That doesn’t sound like Thayde at all. The both of you have been through so much. I know he wouldn’t let something as inconsequential as scarring make him love you any less. You should have read his mind and found out what he was thinking, not relied on pure assumptions!”
“I didn’t want to hear anything that was going to make me mad! I’ve had enough of that lately.” I wept.
“You are The Link! You are the one people rely on to make the most important decisions. How can you hope to be all you can when you can’t even control your reactions with your husband?”