Forbidden Fantasies Bundle(76)

“If I could have been there to help, I would have been.”

“But you had another job to do, didn’t you?” Her words were bitter, but she couldn’t help it. “Mirror, Mirror is ruined, you know. They took my computer, all my photo files, and Mona and Blythe’s appointment books. They can seize the building, but I guess you know that. Racketeering laws or something.”

“I’ll see if there’s any flexibility, Samantha. I’ll help however I can.”

“Forget it. I’ll handle my own problems from now on.” She paused, guilt and regret swamping her. “I just feel sick that I dragged my friends into this mess.” They’d been brave and supportive despite the disaster she’d brought down on their heads.

“You didn’t know Darien was scum,” he said, clearly trying to ease her guilt. “How could you?”

“I should have known that lease was too good to be true.” She’d made mistakes, too. Rick had told her she was too trusting. She’d trusted Darien and she’d trusted Rick. “If there’s a trial, I’ll testify. It’s the least I can do.”

“There won’t be a trial. I got Bianca to talk to Darien and he folded.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He didn’t want her to be ashamed of him. If it’s any consolation, Darien seems to really love his wife. You should have seen them. He apologized for letting her down. The man was almost in tears.” He spoke haltingly, the ghost of a smile on his face. “It was like you said your pictures do—remind a couple of why they love each other.”

She just stared at him. “Stop pretending you believe in what I do, Rick. All that ‘I see what you mean, that makes sense,’ bullshit you dished out when I told you why I do boudoir work was so I’d tell you I was dealing smut, right?”

“No. It wasn’t like that—”

“Just stop.” She held up her hand, angry and hurt and confused. She didn’t want to redefine Rick. She’d fallen in love with how he was.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what was going on. You have to understand—”

“Oh, I understand. You couldn’t tell me because I might be part of it. Get your free bag of drugs with every portrait!” She felt tears slide down her cheeks. Angrily, she wiped them away. No more crying. She was done with that.

“I was wrong to do what I did. Up at the creek and—”

She couldn’t stand hearing him talk about their time together like that was the mistake, instead of the real one—Rick’s lies and pretense. Along with her small-town naiveté.

“Stop taking credit for everything, Rick,” she said with a sigh. “I was the one who pushed the issue. You made up a girlfriend and when I ignored that, you gave me that crap about wanting to settle down with one special person. I should have listened.”

“It wasn’t crap.” Determination flashed in his eyes. “I do want that.” I want you.

Looking into his eyes made her lose her footing, slip into water that was too deep for her again. She couldn’t be trusted to know the truth about Rick anymore.

“You tried to say no. That’s my point.” She sighed again, shaky and disgusted with herself as much as him. She’d ignored his signals and stupidly fallen in love with a fantasy. She was a fool. “Was it all a lie? Everything you told me about yourself? Who you are? Who you were? What you’ve done?”

“I went into the academy, not the army, after Brian died,” he said softly. “Everything else was true.” He settled his gaze on her face, holding her tight. “Look, I know I’ve blown your trust, Samantha, but I’ll do whatever I can to fix this. I’ll find out if there’s any way you can keep the center. If not, I’ll help you find a new location. If you need money, I can take out a loan—”

“Stop it.” She raised a hand. “I don’t want your money, Rick. Whatever you can do to help me help my friends would be good. I have to make it up to them somehow. But I’ll deal with my own mistakes.” Including falling in love with an undercover cop investigating her.

“I want to fix this for you.”

“Forget it, Rick. We both got carried away. There is one thing you can do. Stop thinking of what happened between us as all bad. It was a fantasy, a dream, and we both enjoyed it. At least I did.”

“I did, too, Samantha. More than I can say.” She saw what that admission cost him in the tension in his jaw, the agony in his eyes.

“But it’s over and we’re back to real life,” she continued. “I’ve got a studio to rebuild and you’ve got police work to do.” She tried to sound matter-of-fact, but the words hurt so much she knew it showed.