She nodded, but she didn’t look happy about it.
He went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of thick socks, but when he went to give them to her she was standing by his bed.
“This is just sad,” she said, looking at his plain white sheets and old, plaid blankets. There was no headboard. Just a side table, where he kept his gun, and on top of the dresser, a secondhand television.
“I’ve slept in worse places.”
She sat down to put on the socks, but she studied him. “You bring women here?”
“No.”
“You don’t date?”
“Not so’s you’d notice.”
“Come on, Boone. A healthy guy like you? I can’t picture you embracing a life of celibacy.”
He had no reason to, but he felt embarrassed. “I’m not.”
“Who, besides me?”
“Do we have to talk about this?”
“No, we don’t. We don’t have to say another word.” She got up, went into the living room and sat on the floor next to Milo.
Feeling like a total shit, he went to sit beside her. He thought about asking her to join him on the couch, but this would be fine. “Sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. You put your life at risk for me, and you don’t even know me. I’m sure I’m keeping you from your regular work, so you’re not even making any money.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” She turned to face him. “How much would you charge for this if I wasn’t Nate’s sister?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar. Don’t do that to me. Someday, in theory, I’ll have my life back. I’ll have a job. I want to pay you.”
That bothered him more than he understood. It wasn’t an outrageous thing to offer. He was, in fact, losing money on the deal. “Can’t you just accept that this is something I want to do?”
“Yes. Which doesn’t negate my need to pay you. I’m pretty damn helpless, in case you haven’t noticed. Paying you, even if it is in the future, will at least let me feel like I have something to contribute. Some tiny bit of control.”
“Fair enough.”
“So?”
He took a deep breath as he looked at her. She was a beautiful woman. Strong, sensible and full of courage. He admired her, and he’d always remember making love with her, even if the ending wasn’t the warm cuddle it should have been. He wouldn’t forget what a horrible mistake it was, either. He could have gotten them both killed. It wouldn’t happen again.
“Hello? You still here?”
“Sorry. I got lost for a minute.”
“I could see that.” She touched his cheek. “Where were you?”
“I didn’t have a chance to tell you before. You were amazing.”
She smiled. “We were. Despite the worst ending ever.”
“It could have been worse.”
She shuddered, and the smile disappeared. “So what do I owe you?”
“Two thousand.”
“If that’s all you charge, no wonder you have no good furniture.”
“The job’s not over. Let’s start with two and go from there.”
“Fair enough.” She leaned in just enough to let him know she’d welcome a kiss to seal the deal.
It couldn’t happen. Not tonight. Not ever again. He got up and went to get them coffee.
12
CHRISTIE SAT WITH HER FEET pulled up on the chair and her arms around her knees as she waited for Seth and Boone to put the groceries away.
She should help, but she didn’t want to. Mostly, she wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
“I didn’t know which cheesecake to get,” Seth said, “so I got a couple.”
That made her look. He’d picked up plain and strawberry, which perked her up a little. So did the big box of Lucky Charms he pulled out of the bag.
Boone had remembered. A really considerate, sweet thing to do. Now that things were a little calmer, she’d thought about before the gunshot. The sex.
She tried to remember when she’d made love like that. She’d actually come with no extra help. Usually—no, always—she couldn’t. She either asked her companion to give her some specialized attention, or she brought out the vibrator. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, just the way she was built. Or so she’d thought.
Maybe it was how he was built, or how he’d lifted her legs. Or maybe it was because he was Boone.
No. She wasn’t going there. Boone wasn’t the magic one, he was the temporary hero, which was different. This was a traumatic time, and she was clinging to him for dear life. It would be a terrible mistake to romanticize things. He certainly wasn’t.