Forbidden Craving(62)

How are they doing this to me?

An image of naked, straining bodies flashed through her mind, and she gasped. Once again, she couldn't see her lover's face; however, the image was so lifelike she could hear the pleasure moans rising from the couple. Nerve endings long forgotten began to stir with new life.

Joachim bared his teeth as he hissed in a breath. "You're aroused. I can smell it on you."

Her cheeks heated to a blazing inferno. He could truly smell it?

"I can, too," Shivawn said with a groan. "Brenna..."

He took a step toward her, but again, there was no fear inside her. What's wrong with me? What's happening to me? This wasn't like her. At all!

Joachim eased to a sitting position, and he appeared stronger than he had all week. "You are in need of a man, Brenna, but you are afraid of your desire, yes? You must be, to resist."

"Yes," Shivawn answered for her. "She is afraid."

"Have you ever been with a man?" Joachim asked her.

Unable to breathe, she nodded. Run. She should run.

"Did you like it?" Shivawn asked.

Another nod. She should run and never look back, but part of her was strangely relieved to have this out in the open.

"The man who hurt you and damaged your voice," Joachim persisted. "Did he make you afraid of sex?"

She hesitated for a long while, finally opting for the truth. "Yes."

Both men growled low in their throats, as if they wanted to kill Ethan with their bare hands. Still the fear did not return.

"I understand now," Shivawn said. "Once a woman has been forced, any new experience can be difficult for her."

"Yes," Joachim said. "I, too, understand." His voice sounded far away, a lot weaker. The strength he'd rallied had already drained.

"Joachim?" she said, concern for him making her forget all else.




 

 

He fell back onto the bed, and his head lolled onto the pillow, his skin draining of color.

She hurried to him to check his vitals. "You'll be okay." She placed a glass at his lips and helped him sip the water.

"Dizzy. Weak," he admitted, the condition clearly enraging him. "Shouldn't have moved."

She could tell the lack of strength did more than enrage him; it also unnerved him. As a fighter, he was probably used to absolute control. Hadn't he admitted to liking and respecting the king, but not wanting to take orders anymore?

At last, bits of her fear returned. Control was something she valued, as well. She couldn't relinquish a speck of hers, no matter how aroused she became. And to be with either one of these men she'd have to give up all control.

She beat feet to the door.

When he realized she intended to leave, Joachim uttered an abrupt, "Stay."

A command. Oh, yes, he expected absolute obedience from her. He was to be master and commander and she the slave.

She ignored him, continuing on.

"Brenna," he said. He tried to sit up again, despite his deplorable condition, but strength abandoned him. "I won't always be so weak." There was a warning in his tone. "One day I'll come for you."

She stopped. Just stopped. She stood beside Shivawn. Her gaze swept over him before returning to Joachim. Both males were so beautiful it almost hurt to look at them. For a moment, she actually wished someone would reach for her...touch her...kiss her...sink inside her.

No, not someone. Shivawn. Only Shivawn. He could give her back everything she'd lost. Hope. Companionship. Passion. But it wasn't green eyes she spied inside her mind, staring down at her.

Her mystery lover's eyes were blue.

She scrubbed a hand over her face, trying to block the image.

How could someone like Joachim arouse her like this when no man had been able to do so for years?

"I won't hurt you," Shivawn said. He held up his hands, all innocence.

"Come to me, Brenna," Joachim intoned.

"No," she told Shivawn, and Joachim grinned.

"No," she told Joachim, wiping away his smugness. Better to be without both of them.

"I want to know you," Shivawn said. His voice was gentle. "I'll keep you safe. I won't let anyone else hurt you." 

"Don't allow your need for safety destroy your love of life. I can teach you to conquer your fear and live again," Joachim told her.

Shivawn faced Joachim, and the two squared off. "I can teach her to conquer her fear, too."

"Maybe. But you'll never make her happy," Joachim snapped. "This, I know."

Perhaps neither of them could make her happy. The knowledge overwhelmed her with a keen sense of disappointment. For with the return of his anger, Joachim had reminded her of exactly why she would never give herself to him. If he ever directed that anger at her, he would kill her.