For the Love of Sin(47)

Rex’s face wrinkled in agony. He shook his head. “It won’t happen, Senada. I swear it, baby. I ran away from your mother, and I’ve been paying for it ever since.” He looked down, then back at her. “Hate to admit this, but sometimes it takes a long time for a man to become a man.”

And Rex had become a man. She could see it. It might be hard for him, but she knew he would stay with her even if it killed him. The dam of resentment burst inside her, and the feeling of freedom and hope made her dizzy. She blinked at tears blurring her vision. Her throat was knotted, her chest tight, and she was ready to sob. “Oh, Daddy, you think we can turn this thing around now after all these years?”

Before she knew it, he was beside her, pulling her down and holding her in his arms as if she were ten again. “I’ve been dreaming of this day for years. I almost can’t believe it’s true.”

“Me too.” She swallowed hard and thought of Troy. How had he known? She patted her father on the back. “There’s someone I need to thank.”

“Later,” Rex said. “We’ve got some catching up to do.”



Hours later, Sin arrived back at her house, feeling exhausted and elated. She and her father had talked and talked. They’d argued about a few things, but it had been good-natured. He wanted her to move into his house. She told him to forget it. “I want us to stay on speaking terms for longer than twenty-four hours,” she’d said.

He’d grumbled, but relented. He’d also been anxious about her diagnosis. After she’d filled him in on her treatment, he seemed to relax a little. He would keep a watchful eye, though, she thought. And she didn’t mind it. She even kind of liked it.

Troy’s rental car was missing, so he must have gone out, she decided. She needed to apologize. She needed to thank him. And then she needed to tell him that she loved him. The thought terrified her, but she wanted to do it. She wanted him to know.

She headed for the kitchen to clean up the mess she’d made and stopped when she saw the plate she’d broken on the kitchen counter. It had been glued back together, and there was a note attached.

Senada,

I’m not sure it’s usable, but it’s fixed. I couldn’t resist trying. Sorry if I made things more difficult for you. I understand you need to make your own way. If you ever decide you want to share your life with others, remember there are people in Tennessee who love you. Take care, Troy



Senada stared at the note and felt her heart fall to her feet. She reread it again and again. No hidden messages. No questions. No frills. The message was clear.

Troy was gone. She’d waited too long.

She went through the motions of her routine, went to work, ate when she was supposed to and took her insulin. She even went to bed at her regular time.

But she couldn’t sleep.

Troy’s scent was still in the room. It was too easy to imagine his body right next to hers as it had been the night before. Too easy to remember the sound of his voice, low and sexy. Too easy to recall the way his breath drifted over her hair and his hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him.

So easy and so hard.

Sin sat up in bed and flicked on the beside light. She needed to shoo his ghost away. With the light on, she knew he wasn’t there. Yet, his scent remained.

Swearing, she got up from her bed, took a freshly laundered blanket from the linen closet and made her way to the living room sofa. It took another hour of telling herself not to think about him before she finally fell asleep, and when she did, she dreamed about him.

The next morning, she changed the sheets, laundered the bedspread and lit a candle to purge his scent and presence from the room.

When she went to bed that night, however, she still couldn’t sleep. Dozing on the couch became a ritual that lasted for five nights.

Cranky and bemused, she unloaded on her dietician at her regular appointment. “I have always been the one to finish a relationship, Helen.”

Helen nodded. “So this is ego?”

Senada paused. “Ego,” she repeated, and laughed. “I wish.”

Helen’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, my. I take it you’d like an ongoing relationship with this man.”

Sin nodded. “Yes. But it will be difficult with him in Tennessee and me in Texas. Plus, there’s the fact that he left and he hasn’t called.”

“True,” Helen said, and continued to pencil in some foods for Senada on her menu. “The distance between Tennessee and Texas might as well be the same as the North Pole and the South Pole.”

Sin started to nod, then stopped. “It’s not quite that far.”

“Hmmm. And the reason he hasn’t called probably doesn’t have anything to do with your obsession to remain independent.”