“I don’t remember,” I gushed. “I don’t remember any of it. Tell me what happened.”
Ford’s voice was strained. “I don’t know. But you’re feeling guilt and remorse. There’s hatred, but not at him. Someone made you forget.”
I looked up, wanting to believe. Everything was blurry, unreal.
“You didn’t forget because you couldn’t handle it,” he said, guilt in his voice for having labeled me weak. “Someone made you forget against your will. It’s all there in your emotions.”
Blinking fast, I tried to clear my sight. The pain in my chest wouldn’t go away and let me think. Someone had been here besides me. Someone else knew what had happened. Someone had forced me to forget? Why?
A new fear pulled my attention to Ivy, still standing apart and miserable as Kisten lay cold and dead between us. She hadn’t wanted Ford to help me to remember. Had she…had she killed him because he’d bitten me?
“I don’t remember,” Ivy whispered as if knowing my thoughts, her head bowed and arms wrapped around herself to keep from falling apart. “I could have. I don’t remember.”
Edden put his weapon back in the holster, snapping it shut. Arms crossed aggressively, he took a firm stance. I stood, torn between anger at him and fear for Ivy.
“She wouldn’t do it,” I said, frightened, and I went to give her a shake. “You wouldn’t do that, Ivy. Look at me! You loved him!”
She shook her head, her black hair hiding her face.
“She was Piscary’s scion,” Edden said. “She would if he told her to.”
“She loved Kisten!” I exclaimed, appalled and scared. “She wouldn’t do it!”
Edden took a harder line. “Word on the street is she’d kill him if he touched your blood. Did he?”
Guilt seemed to stop my heart, and I looked frantically for a way out. Jenks stood on the dresser, miserable. We were in the same room where I’d bitten Kisten in a blood passion I scarcely knew how to comprehend. He hadn’t bitten me, but it didn’t seem to matter now.
Ivy brought her head up at my silence. Her beautiful face was twisted in pain. “I might have done it,” she whispered. “I don’t remember. Everything up to Piscary attacking you is a…a jumbled nightmare. I think someone told me you tasted Kisten. I can’t remember if someone told me or if I made it up.” Tear-wet eyes rose to mine, framed by black hair iced in gold. A terrible fear lay in her gaze. “I might have. I might have done it, Rachel!”
My stomach was in knots, but the terror was gone, and in a sudden surge I understood. She hadn’t wanted to come out here, afraid she might find she’d killed him. She hadn’t wanted Ford to help me remember for the same reason. Someone had killed Kisten, but I knew to the bottom of my soul that it hadn’t been Ivy, though centuries of evolution and conditioning made her want to.
“You didn’t kill him,” I said, putting my arms around her to help her believe. Her muscles tensed, and she started to silently tremble. “You didn’t. I know it, Ivy. You wouldn’t.”
“I don’t remember,” she sobbed, admitting her fear. “I don’t remember anything but being angry and confused and out of control.” She moved, and I let go so she could pull her head up. “Did you bite him?” she whispered, her eyes begging me to say no.
I was glad I wasn’t wearing that amulet so at least I could pretend Ford wasn’t watching the drama play out. If I said yes, she would assume she had killed Kisten. But to lie was not possible. “I bit him,” I said, the guilty words coming quick so I could get it out before she decided she’d killed him to end the pain inside her. “He gave me a pair of caps for my birthday. He knew you’d made a pass at me. Looking back on it, I’m sure I did it to convince him that I wasn’t going to leave him. That he was important to me.”
Ivy moaned and pulled away.
“Damn it, Ivy!” I exclaimed, wiping at the slowly leaking tears. “You wouldn’t kill him for that! You loved him! Piscary never touched that part of you. He couldn’t! You were never his. He only thought you were! Kisten said Piscary never asked you to kill me, but Piscary did, didn’t he?” I said, watching her. I could hardly breathe, and her misery hesitated as she tried to remember. “He told you to kill me, and you said no. You wouldn’t kill me for Piscary, and you wouldn’t kill Kisten for him either. I know it, Ivy. That’s why you shut yourself off. You didn’t kill him. You didn’t.”