“Hopefully with the tiara.”
My heart lurched. “Yeah, hopefully.”
“So how’s William coming along? Is he any closer to being able to win the big duel?”
I sighed. “He’s getting there, but I’m hoping to take him to another crowded place. Problem is, it needs to be something entertaining enough to entice him. I’m thinking the movies or...I don’t know.”
“Why not Disneyland? It’s five miles away.”
I sighed dreamily. “You know how much I love that place, but…I don’t have the funds to go to Disney right now.”
She shrugged. “That’s easy. I can still bum discount tickets off my former colleagues. I think you should go for it. After all, it is the happiest place on earth, right? Who could say no to that?”
Chapter 12
William
I shake my head as I grip the steering wheel tighter. “No,” I repeat.
“But it’s Disneyland! Who could say no to Disneyland?” Jenna asks.
“I just did.” I keep my eyes on the road and stop at the red light. Jenna is laughing, but I can’t tell if it’s at my answer or me. Maybe both.
“When was the last time you went?”
The memory of that visit flashes through my mind. I was six. My mother had started taking us for regular visits again but had insisted that she couldn’t handle me for long periods of time. Things had gone all right until that horrible trek through Adventureland.
We’d been walking very close to the Jungle Cruise ride when shots were fired—from a cap gun. I was terrified by the sudden loud noise and unequipped to overcome my fear. I couldn’t breathe, and when she tried to pull me along, I’d refused to walk, lying down on the ground while other park guests filed around me. I’d screamed and cried as she dragged me alongside her, cursing the entire time. Typically, when I had my episodes—my mom called them “meltdowns”—she became mean, yelling and calling me all the same things the kids at school called me.
“Why do you have to be such an idiot, Liam? I brought you and your sister here to have fun, and now you’re ruining it. Britt’s crying because of you. Stop it right now.”
“Hey.” Jenna puts her hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”
I tense and then shake my head. “I don’t have good memories of that place. Especially the Jungle Cruise.”
She turns and looks at me. “Well then, we could make some good memories. What about the Indiana Jones ride? Or the new version of Space Mountain? Were those there the last time you went?”
I shook my head. We’d never made it to Tomorrowland. My mother had called my dad and insisted he come get me. She’d spent the rest of the day there with Britt and hadn’t brought her home until the next day. I’ll never forget overhearing her telling my dad about how much fun they had together after I left. Or the words Britt said to me as she handed me candy that she’d bought with her very own spending money.
“I’m sorry, Liam. I wish you could have gone on more rides with me.”
I’d always wondered why my sister was sorry. My mother wasn’t.
She’d never tried to take me again after that, but continued to take Britt a few times a year. In fact, I was rarely invited over to my mother’s house, and when I was invited, it seldom happened. Dad had tried hard to make me feel better, saying those were special father-son days. But he’d never succeeded. The only thing I felt was broken…so broken not even my mother could love me.
“I’m sorry, Wil. Do you want to talk about it?”
I blink, surprised by the realization that I do want to talk about it. “I had a bad experience at Disneyland as a child. And then my mother…she took my sister there often, but not me.”
Jenna shifts her eyes back to the road, her hand slipping down my arm. “Oh. I’m sorry. Did she do that a lot? Favor your sister over you?”
“She didn’t know how to handle me. It was difficult for her.”
“You don’t have to make excuses for her, William. And that statement makes it seem like you blame yourself for her shortcomings.”
“I do. And how is stating the truth making excuses for her?”
“Because the way you state it shapes how you think—about her and about yourself. When the voice inside your head is saying negative things about you, then you have to find a way to change it.”
“There are no voices in my head, Jenna. Just pictures. Lots of pictures.”
“You have feelings.”
I signal a right turn at the stop sign and follow through. “Yes, I have feelings too.”
“You also have the power to rewrite your history, you know.”