Katherine must have seen something in his eyes, for her mouth softened, and she shook her head back and forth slowly, sadly. “Oh, Jasper,” she said. “Harry is a friend. Nothing more.”
Harry.
She referred to Stanhope by his Christian name.
“Gentlemen do not become friends with young ladies, Katherine,” he bit out.
“This one did,” she replied. “When I desperately needed one, Jasper.” She folded her arms to her chest, as though warming herself. “Is that why you’ve come? To determine if I’ve been unfaithful to you, Jasper? I have not.” Her gaze slid to the window, and she tugged back the velvet curtains to peer into the passing streets. “If that is why you’ve come, then be assured I’ve not taken a lover. Nor do I intend to. So you can return me to the townhouse and return to Castle Blackwood.”
His stomach flipped into itself. “Is that what you want, Katherine? For me to leave?”
If she said yes, it would shatter him.
Katherine dropped the curtain and it fluttered back into place. She turned a sad smile back at him. “Do you know what is so very odd, Jasper?” She didn’t wait for him to answer, but continued. “Since the Frost Fair, since we first met, I came to know you, better than even myself, I sometimes believe. I know the manner in which you grit your teeth and square your jaw when you’re irate. I know you despise any showing of emotion.” She shook her head, unhappily. “Yet, you should know me so little. You read words in the gossip column and believe me no better than your parents.”
“No,” the denial burst from him. Katherine couldn’t be further from the mark. He well knew she was nothing like his viperous mother and dastardly father.
Katherine held her palms up, almost beseechingly, and it threatened to rend him in two, this his proud Katherine humbled herself before him. “Then, why did you come, Jasper?”
“Because I’m a bloody fool.”
~32~
#p#分页标题#e#
Her heart cracked at Jasper’s words. Her husband considered himself a bloody fool for coming to her.
The carriage rocked to a slow stop, and she started, realizing the carriage had arrived at her…his…their townhouse.
A servant rapped on the door, and she reached for the handle.
Jasper’s large, gloveless hand settled over hers.
A thrill coursed through her in remembrance of his touch, and she closed her eyes as a wave of longing filled her.
“Katherine,” he said hoarsely. He yanked his fingers back and her skin cooled from the loss of his skin upon hers. Jasper raked his hand through his hair. “I’m blundering this quite badly. Which can of course be explained by the fact that I’m a great big, bastard. I let you go,” he said arresting her gaze with his. “I let you go because I did not allow myself to accept the truth.”
Katherine angled her head. Her heart slowed and then picked up a too-quick rhythm in her chest. “What is that, Jasper?” she whispered.
The servant knocked. “Not now.” Jasper’s booming command bounced off the walls of the carriage. He returned his attention to Katherine. “You terrified me, Katherine. From the moment your hand touched mine as I pulled you from the Thames, our lives became inextricably intertwined in ways I fought.” Jasper sucked in a deep breath, as though he’d run a great distance. “I could not allow myself to believe I cared for you, because I could not bear the thought of losing you.”
As he’d lost Lydia.
And then Katherine had gone and left Jasper, too. Oh God, how had she left him? Even as it had been an attempt to protect herself, she’d wrought this great hurt upon him.
“Jasper,” she said brokenly. “I should have never left you.” She should have stayed and fought for him, even if it had been a ghost she’d been left to battle for Jasper’s heart.
He must have seen something in her eyes for he reached across the carriage and cupped her cheek in his hand, angling her face toward his. “You thought me incapable of loving you because of Lydia, but…” He closed his eyes a moment. When he opened them, her heart twisted at the raw emotion there. “But the truth is, Katherine, you had my heart since the moment your water-drenched ringlets broke the surface of the Thames.” He leaned across the seat and rested his brow against hers. “I saved you that day, Katherine. But the truth,” he shook his head gently back and forth, “the truth is you saved me.” His words washed over her, and emotion clogged her throat. “You made me to feel and dream and love again.”