Only the perfect golden ringlets upon the doll put Katherine in remembrance of Lydia’s glorious flaxen curls captured within her painting alongside Jasper.
“Kat,” Aldora prodded.
Katherine sighed and glanced down at her toes. “I don’t know what you’d have me say, Aldora?”
Did her sister want her to speak of her and Jasper’s chance meeting at the Frost Fair? Her marriage of convenience? Her husband’s impossible lack of regard for her?
“I’d have you start from the beginning,” Aldora said gently.
Katherine swallowed, and raised her gaze to Aldora’s. And as there could be no more better place to begin, Katherine said, “He saved me.” The seconds fell away to minutes, which might as well have given way to hours. Katherine lost track of the passage of time as she spoke of everything from that lone volume of Wordsworth, to Katherine’s outrageous proposal of marriage.
At some point, Aldora scooped up her daughter and rocked her to sleep.
Katherine studied the slumbering babe. A ball of emotion lodged in her throat. “I’ve a marriage of convenience, Aldora.” She waved her hand. “It is what I proposed—”
“But it is not what you desire,” Aldora interjected quietly. With her free hand, she pushed her spectacles farther back on the bridge of her nose.
Katherine shook her head back and forth. “No. It is not what I want.”
I want baby girls who play with dolls and sleep in my arms. I want a smiling portrait with a man who gazes at me like there is no other more beautiful than me. Not just any gentleman. Jasper. I want Jasper.
Aldora caught her lower lip between her teeth and worried the flesh. “I wanted you to wed for love, Katherine.”
She had, however inadvertent it may have been.
“A man who loved you in return,” Aldora continued.
Katherine surged to her feet and began to pace. “I did not have the luxury of patience in the matter of marriage. Mother—”
“Would not have spoken to Uncle about plans for a union without Michael’s knowledge,” Aldora said. She rose and carried Lizzie over to a plush, gold upholstered sofa. She lay the small girl down, and placed a calming hand along her back when she stirred.
Katherine shifted under the weight of that truth. Somewhere inside, she recognized the truth in her sister’s words. Mother would’ve wed Katherine off to Mr. Bertrand Ekstrom, but not without Michael’s agreement on such a union . After all, Michael saved them from certain ruin, and with his connection as the Marquess of St. James’ brother, Mother deferred to Aldora’s husband.
When Lizzie’s breath settled back into that smooth, steady cadence of sleep, Aldora turned back to Katherine. She crossed over, and rested a staying hand on Katherine’s shoulders, steadying her frenetic movements. “I believe your decision to wed the duke stemmed from more than your fear of wedding Mr. Ekstrom.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not that the thought of marriage to horrid Mr. Ekstrom wouldn’t be cause enough. But you could have wed anyone, Kat.”
An inelegant snort escaped Katherine. “I know what I am, Aldora. I’m no grand beauty.” It was a fact in which she’d been comfortable since she’d been a small girl not much older than Lizzie. There were Diamonds of the First Water…
And everyone else.
Katherine embraced the category of everyone else.
Aldora’s mouth set in a mutinous line. “Don’t be a ninny hammer, you are perfectly lovely.”
As an adoring older sister, she’d seemed to only see beauty in Katherine—even when the world had not.
Katherine directed her eyes to the ceiling. “I’ve brown hair.”
Her sister folded her arms across her chest and arched a brown eyebrow.
“Set in hopelessly tight ringlets,” Katherine went on. She waved a hand over Aldora. “You’ve not had tight, brown ringlets in a very long while.”
“That’s one of the many benefits of marriage,” Aldora muttered from under her breath. “Being free of Mother’s rather er…questionable fashion dictates.” She gave her head a shake and returned the conversation to the heart of the matter. “I’d have you be happy, Katherine.”
“I am happy.”
Aldora gave her a skeptical look through the thick frames of her lenses.
“Well, mayhap not altogether happy. Not in the same way you and Michael are. Rather in a…a…” Less loving, less bucolic way. “Less predictable way,” she settled for.
“Do you believe he’d ever harm you?”
“No,” the response burst from Katherine’s lips. She shook her head. “He would never hurt me.” She touched a hand to where her heart beat. Then, some pain was far greater than the physical kind.