“He’s not?” Mark’s expression softened and his voice lowered. “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope this situation hasn’t affected your relationship. I know he’s determined to protect you and if he’s not gone about it the right way…” He paused and stared at her, as if he expected her to interrupt. “Can I let you in on a secret?”
A secret about Connor? A no-I-don’t-care hovered on her lips but the lie never emerged. She nodded and leaned closer.
“Connor hasn’t had a girlfriend since I’ve known him. I’m not surprised if he’s forgotten how to do relationships.”
Her eyes widened. Had Connor told his ex-partner she was his girlfriend? No…Mark must have drawn his own conclusions. But then Connor not having a girlfriend in a long time was a whole other surprise. Charlize’s gaze dropped to her hem. Of course not, why should he limit himself when the ladies lined up for him. “I’m sure he’s been far too busy sowing his oats for that.”
“If he has, I wouldn’t know about it.” Mark’s chair creaked.
Charlize glanced up. Mark had leaned back, a suspicious-cop look on his face.
“Exactly how much do you know about Connor? Do you even know why he left the force?”
Charlize clamped her teeth shut. “No,” she whispered.
Mark watched her a moment then his gaze settled at some point beyond her left shoulder. “Believe it or not there’s not a whole lot of room for compassion in this job. We sign on to help people but most of the time all we can do is stand behind red tape and watch the bad things happen.” Mark’s voice drifted into a soft, far-away tone.
Charlize held her tongue and watched him speak.
“Five years ago we had a spree of rape-homicides, the worst we’d ever seen. A vicious serial killer. Except he made a mistake—an eighteen-year-old victim survived. We found her in a dumpster, strangled but alive.”
A guilty, voyeuristic sensation settled over her. As if she were spying on Connor’s past by listening to things he hadn’t told her himself. Personal things.
“We never caught the fucker. The few opportunities we had to get close we hit legal blocks—laws designed to protect rights that stopped us from catching the bad guy. There was little we could do to protect the victim either. Procedure and funding left her on her own.” He inhaled and exhaled deeply and turned his attention back to her. “Connor refused to continue playing the game. He wanted to really protect people. So he started Crowe Security and his women’s self-defense classes to help women protect themselves. In fact I think he started those classes just so Brooke could take them.”
Charlize stopped breathing. Brooke? Indestructible-looking Amazon Barbie was the strangled girl? Her head swirled with a mixture of emotions—pity for Brooke, admiration for Connor and the sneaking, crawling jealousy she tried to ignore at the knowledge of all Connor had done for another woman. The tiny, nasty voice that worried Connor was in love with someone who wasn’t her.
“My point is, Charlize, he might be overprotective at times but trust me—Connor’s heart is in the right place. He doesn’t toy with women and he doesn’t hurt them.”
Her throat tightened but she took small breaths. How much about him had she not bothered to ask? Too scared to let him in, she formed her own opinions instead of seeing the real him. Like he’d said—was she so afraid of what things might mean, she couldn’t see what they really were?
But did any of this matter? The fact remained he’d tried to control her then he’d crossed her biggest line—he’d messed with her job. Didn’t respect her right to a career.
“Good intentions aren’t enough. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t value what I do, who doesn’t take my job seriously. Who doesn’t take me seriously—who doesn’t think I’m capable.” She rubbed her throat with the palm of her hand as if she could wipe away the lump inside. “He kept things about my own company from me, he tried to tell me to stay away—that’s not respect. I can’t be with a man who does that.”
“Shit…” Mark whispered. He leaned his arms on his desk and bowed his head. After a moment, he looked up at her. “Okay so maybe Connor’s not all-the-way to blame for that.”
Charlize frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I told him that if he wanted to protect you, he had to keep you away from Halifax.” Mark’s face took on the look of a puppy caught with a slipper in his mouth.
She stared at him uselessly, thoughts drumming the inside of her head. A tiny spark of hope bloomed in her chest before more questions came to stamp it out. Her mind became a blur. “Why?”