For Angelo(80)

No.

She couldn’t think like that.

Angelo was already taking a shower by the time she managed to follow him inside, and again all she could do was stare at him. Each blast of water coming from the shower was like a slap to her face.

“Stop this,” she said dully. “Please.”

But Angelo didn’t even only look at her, didn’t even act like she was there, staring at him while he kept breaking her heart.

So damn normal, she thought numbly.

He was acting so damn normal, reaching for his towel when he was done with his shower and wrapping it around his hips.

He walked to the sink, his side actually brushing her, but still he didn’t pay her any attention.

She watched him reach for the razor.

He started to shave.

Their eyes met in the mirror, and she saw in his gaze that he was not going to change his mind. It was over, over between them—

Oh God, it was OVER between them.

Over, over, over and Lane knew, just by looking at him, that if Angelo believed replacing her was what it would take to make her realize the truth—

Just like how he had used the Italian model to drive his point home—

Lane went crazy.

She snatched the razor from his hand. “No!”

Angelo whirled to face her, his face stunned. “What the hell—”

“Do you think I’m going to make it easy for you?” she screamed wildly. “You really think I’m going to let you go just like that? I’d rather shave my name on your head before I let you go to another girl!!!”

And everything went black.

Everything just went black.

And the next thing she knew, the world was spinning, Nellie was sobbing for her to stop, and Ray was holding her back from—

From what?

The world continued to spin, but her blurry vision started to clear.

And that was when she saw Angelo, a bleeding cut on his chest—

The sight made her cry out, snapping her out of her madness. She looked down at her hand, and with another cry she let go of the bloodstained blade she was still clutching. Had she taken the blade off? Had she tried to hurt him?

She choked out, “Angelo—”

And still, he only gazed at her in silence, like she didn’t deserve a single word of explanation.

“I don’t care what others say about us. I don’t care what they think. I’m proud of the way we love each other. C-can’t you be proud of it, too?”

It was her last attempt, her last plea for him to love her.

But it failed, as it was bound to.

Because right now, the coldness of his gaze was Angelo believing he was doing the right thing – the best thing – for the woman he loved.

Only she didn’t know this.

She looked at him and saw the man she loved, the man she was forcing to feel pride for something that he so obviously wanted to forget and found shameful—

He looked at her and saw the woman he loved, so damn much he would rather bury his heart anew than drag her down with him—

“Let’s go, baby.” Nellie slowly drew Lane away.

And she allowed it.

And he allowed it.

Because they loved each other too much, and sometimes, love made people see with their fears instead of their hearts.





Chapter Twenty-Three





Life continued the way it was meant to be.

It had been three months since Lane disappeared from his life, and not once did Angelo even think of finding her, of seeing her. The memories were enough. They would always be because Angelo believed that he had done the right thing.

Love became a steady numbing pain that kept him company day and night, making him feel both alone and not alone. It never let him forget that she was gone, but it also served to remind him that he had done the right thing.

That one day, she would have a chance to fall for someone who was normal, someone who would never hurt her, the way Angelo could.

An eternity could have passed, and regret would never cross his mind.

Or at least it couldn’t have…

Until the day he saw her again—

And found out how much he had failed her, not realizing until it was too late that her love for him was as great and true as his.





****





It was another day, one that was just like any other because it was a day that she wasn’t beside him. The part of him that existed on autopilot knew that he was in Alabama for an international legal conference, one he had already made his excuses for but had changed his mind about at the last minute.

The other part of him didn’t give a damn. This part of him only dwelled in the past, in the days when he still had Lane. Angelo knew that by choosing to remember her every day, he would never stop loving her.

Which was fine with him.

The problem had never been how much he loved her.

The problem was letting her continue to love him when he didn’t deserve her.