For whole minutes, Carlo stood silently at the gurney and looked down on his brother. Sabina stayed where she was by the door, thinking little, feeling much—sorrow and compassion. Worry and fear. Love. So much love. Her heart filled and stretched with love. Even in this moment, her life now was so much better than her life before, because of this love.
“God, Joe,” Carlo’s voice was a hoarse rumble. “God. What were you thinking? You never think. You always just expect everything to be okay. Well, it’s not. Things are never okay. And there’s not always going to be somebody around to make it okay. You gotta learn that, Joey. Until you learn that, you’re never going to get by on your own. We can’t bail you out of this one.” His voice cracked, and Sabina almost went to him. But he cleared his throat and went on. “I’m not saying goodbye. Fuck that. Pull your ass up, kid. Fight for yourself. No one can make this better but you. Stand up for yourself.”
Then he reached back, his hand spread toward Sabina. Understanding the gesture, she stepped forward, took his offered hand, and let him pull her to his side. She kissed his shoulder and leaned her head there.
“He is strong, Carlo.”
“Yeah. I’ve been so pissed at him. I’ve been treating him like shit for weeks because he got me tangled up with the Uncles. But it’s my fault. I’ve always bailed him out of everything. We all have. Maybe if we made him fight his own fights, he’d have known better what to do today.”
“What could he have done?”
“Had a gun with him. Realized faster that an unfamiliar car on Carmen’s road is trouble. I don’t know. Something. I can’t believe Jenny managed all this chaos. Half the time, she could barely manage a trip to the market.”
“This is why we’ll find Trey. Yes? Because she’s under the water?”
He turned and gave her a quizzical look, and she wondered if she had said something wrong, but then his expression changed, reforming into despair again. “Or it’s why he’s already dead. Because she’s in over her head and terrified.”
“To think that way is to give up, Carlo. It’s too soon to give up.”
He nodded without seeming persuaded. “Yeah. Okay, I need to talk to Uncle Ben.” He bent down and kissed his brother’s forehead. “Fight, you shithead. Fight your fight.”
~ 23 ~
When they went back out into the waiting room, Carlo released Bina’s hand and went to Uncle Ben and Uncle Lorrie. They’d been sitting in a group with everyone—his siblings and father, their wives—and they’d both stood as he’d come into the room.
He released her hand, but she didn’t leave his side right away. She was with him. Despite the way he’d let his fear and rage unspool and lash out at her, despite the fact that he knew he’d hurt her, she was still with him, at his side. Though smiles were hard to find, he found one now for her. “It’s okay. I need to talk to them alone.”
She nodded and tipped her chin up. She wanted a kiss. He gave her one, and she crossed the room to his—their—family. As she passed Uncle Ben, the old man gave her arm an affectionate squeeze.
Uncle Ben took Carlo’s elbow and led him to a quiet corner of the room. One of their soldiers stood nearby; with a look, Uncle Lorrie sent him out of earshot.
“Sit, Junior.” Uncle Ben pushed Carlo to sit before he himself did. “We need to talk about what the law knows, and what they tell you they’re doing. And we need to talk about how we’re proceeding and what part you wish to play.”
“Law doesn’t know anything, far as they told me. They have somebody watching her apartment in New York. That’s it. Do you have news? Do you know anything?”
“No. Not yet. But we will find her. A woman who holds a gun to her own child’s head has few friends. And many enemies. She will have nowhere to turn soon enough.”
“That’s not reassuring, Uncle. If she panics, if she thinks she can’t get away…” He couldn’t say it. It was all he could think about, what Jenny would do to Trey if she felt cornered, but he couldn’t say the words out loud, not to his Uncles. With every second that crawled by without his son, though, Carlo was more sure that he had seen him for the last time. “I can’t believe we’re all just sitting here!”
“We’re not, Junior.” Uncle Lorrie’s voice was dark and gruff. “This is our top job right now. Finding your boy. We’ve got everybody on it.”